(Closed) Close to tears… so lost… please help ladies!

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

I think it is fair to ask them to pay for their own meal since you are hosting a formal event next year.  In my opinion, $40- $50 isn’t too much to ask them to pay.  It’s not over the top expensive, imho.

Post # 4
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@poetiksoul1225:  Look into doing a group menu option (lots of places will offer you this); it is usually a menu with four or five different options at a different rate than the normal menu price. Our restaurant will offer this to groups of 20 or more where a plate normally costs 35.00 will be about 29.00 (plus tax and tip of course). We will offer this because we know that a group will generally have a bigger bar tab than a normal reservation.  Oh and we also offer this group menu as a seperate check option without a difference in rate.

Post # 5
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That’s a tough one. If you don’t want to be in the position of paying for them, maybe discuss with your Fi to make sure that that’s definitely the restuarant you want to go to, and if so, together kindly tell his MIL that you’ve both decided on that restaurant for your special meal and that it would mean the world to you if they could come but you totally understand if not and hope that they can join you on your actual wedding celebration next year. Perhaps they’re watching the pennies because they just paid for that holiday? Can your FI have a word with them and find out if their issues with money are so bad that it would really be prohibitive? Or is there another motive?

Post # 6
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s their SON. If they aren’t ill or disabled and are able to pay for a vacation, this is just a case of priorities. I would go ahead and do the dinner. I’m sure they will come up with the money just like they did for jet skiing and sky diving. $50 per person is NOT that much..

Post # 7
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t personally think you are asking too much.

 

Post # 8
Member
1781 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t go to Chili’s. Go where you want to. 

“We got married at the court house then we all went down to Chili’s for some baby back ribs! A 20 year old college student was our server for our special day.”

No.

 

It’s still your wedding day! They can celebrate with you next year if they can’t come I say.

Post # 9
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You could do a nice lunch. We are doing a one and have a private room at a nice restaurant. You could buy bulk flowers and cake and a two course lunch would be MUCH cheaper, even if it’s really nice.

EDIT: I forgot to say only to do this if you want to comprimise with her. You shouldn’t feel like you have to comprimise your day anymore than you have already. 

Post # 10
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

tell her that if she can’t make it due to expenses, that’s her choice… but you’ll be having your wedding dinner at such and such place.

she will most likely backtrack and find a way to afford it.

 

we are having a non-hosted dinner at House of Blues in Disney World after our ceremony and toasting. everyone pays their own way for dinner. 

Post # 11
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you should compromise if you don’t really want to…. but surely there is a middle ground between Chili’s and a $50-a-plate restaurant. If you want to find somewhere cheaper to accomodate the family, I would look for locally-owned restaurants that are in the $20/30 range – that would feel more special/personalized, in my opinion, than going to a chain family restaurant. You could also look for similar places that accomodate vegetarians; my BF’s veg meals are usually at least 10 bucks less than the steak/chicken dishes at nice restaurants. Frugal family members could pick a meatless entree, or have an appetizer as a meal, if they want to save some money….

Post # 12
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

@Baimee:  “We got married at the court house then we all went down to Chili’s for some baby back ribs! A 20 year old college student was our server for our special day.”

LOL. Exactly what I was thinking. Maybe the staff could bring the happy couple a free ice cream sundae with sparklers in it to commemorate their union.

Post # 13
Member
1781 posts
Buzzing bee

@vegempanada:  The funny thing is, I know someone who did this. Only it was Fresh Choice. I have no idea what the bride’s feeling on this was, as it was a meth-head wedding.Later she left him and he went to jail for beating women. Many. different. women. She laughed about it mostly?

 

(Everyone out there: Not that there’s ANYTHING wrong with going somewhere like a chain restaurant if that’s absolutely where you want!! but seriously, if it’s not, you shouldn’t have to.)

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