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I did this with my first husband, and my SO will be doing this at some time in the future.
1) the end of the distance.
2) not knowing how each other lived. Did he not pick up his socks from the living room? Did I leave the towel in the bathroom? Did somebody squeeze the toothpaste wrong? All these little things become issues at some point, but they're minor and easy to get past.
3) Not gone at all.
4) It was hard. I left a GREAT job, my entire family, and all my friends. I lost touch with most all of them and when I came back 5 years later, it was never the same.
It's a huge transition, I never went home to visit at all, it was just all done wrong. It's stressful when you leave everything for someone, especially when the person you left to be with is still living their life like nothing changed. Being in a new place where you don't know anyone can be scary. It takes some time to adjust.
Thanks you guys! Yes indeed I think the BIGGEST pro is being with your SO!
@palmtree23: I will be moving unemployed as well, but I honestly think job opportunities are much better where I'm going! I searched for months here in Michigan and I even commented on how rude employers are to "newly graduated" and "no training/do not reply" it's horrible! I searched around the Chicago area and wow what I difference! The ads were much more welcoming to "new" job seekers.
@MeAndDubby: Oh I'm sure it will be stressful, I even told my guy that when I get a job I was thinking of setting up with a counselor that can help me work through this big transition, I unlike many people have lived in the same house since I was born. I have never lived with anyone else, never moved, I've only ever been away from my parents for a few weeks(on vacation) so I'm new to all this hehe
@MrsWrangler: lol keeping things clean! I'm ok with that, but luckily my guy isn't a neat freak so a few socks or magazines on the floor won't bother him. I'm the fussy one when It comes to keeping dishes washed and counters cleaned of crumbs!! ugh pet peeve lol
@Sigyn: are we dating the same guy? (lol i'm sure we're not, but it just sounded so familiar...he has an apartment, younger brother living with him, younger brother living with US when we've moved in together...)
anyway, i can't answer any of your questions, as we haven't moved in together yet (not till september), but i can sort of answer your last one about friends and family, since i left behind all my family and most of my friends when i moved out here with DH1 for my graduate degree. we made some new friends, but life divided us too (they live a little over an hour away). honestly, it was really tough. i remember feeling so lonely and homesick the first summer we were out here, and DH1 and i had always been pretty reclusive with each othe to begin with (only really needing each other for companionship). it's an adjustment to be sure, but you get used to it, and there's always new friends to be made. DH1 left all his family behind too. that's something that will be different with FI...his family are within a few hours drive. mine are more like two days' drive.
1. What were the PROS of moving in together?
So much fun! We were so excited about finally being in the same city and getting to see each other every day it was a blast. Also, I moved into his house and he gave me free reign to redecorate so I got to work painting and stuff.
2. What were the CONS of moving in together?
None. Can't imagine NOT living together....I think that would be weird. Obviously there's all the getting-to-know-you things about living together -- you find out eachother's faults, but that's good to know before marrying!
Wait, I take that back. He bought the house with his former girlfriend (stupid) and it was really difficult at first because I'd find things of hers. It made me feel like he didn't care, but really the truth was he didn't even notice stuff or go in those cupboards often so he didn't realize it. I've systematically gone through the entire house and purged everything of hers.
3. Is there anything you wish you had done differently?
Nope.
4. How did the transition of leaving friends and family go?
I was living somewhere that I only had a few friends, as I'd moved the year before from my family. So it's still hard being away from my family but I made that choice all on my own before even meeting FI...so my situation is a bit different than others.
The hardest thing about moving where he lived was that he already had a base of friends and I had none. I adopted a few...his friend's girlfriends or whathaveyou but it's taken me about 2 years to make my OWN solid friends...girls are hard to make friends with! My other issue is that I left my career (teaching) and haven't been able to get back into it yet. That makes me really sad :(
@Sigyn: Yeah my guy actually just does the housework if I don't do it - haha. I of course help out as to not be a total slob but he's definitely the better one about it!
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Okay, After seeing another similar post on another board I became curious about what it's like to move across cities, across states and even across the world and live with the person you have only visited with for a few days to weeks.
My SO and I plan on moving in with each other next spring, he lives in an apartment and has his younger brother living with him *yay* (sarcasm) He suggested we move into a "new" place and if it comes down to it ask him if he would like to "move in with us" :) Anywho I wanted to ask a few question just to see how the transition was for you guys!
Thank You!