(Closed) Closing the gap – Moving in after a LDR :)

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

I did this with my first husband, and my SO will be doing this at some time in the future. 

1) the end of the distance. 

2) not knowing how each other lived. Did he not pick up his socks from the living room? Did I leave the towel in the bathroom? Did somebody squeeze the toothpaste wrong? All these little things become issues at some point, but they’re minor and easy to get past. 

3) Not gone at all.

4) It was hard. I left a GREAT job, my entire family, and all my friends. I lost touch with most all of them and when I came back 5 years later, it was never the same.

It’s a huge transition, I never went home to visit at all, it was just all done wrong. It’s stressful when you leave everything for someone, especially when the person you left to be with is still living their life like nothing changed. Being in a new place where you don’t know anyone can be scary. It takes some time to adjust. 

Post # 4
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2015

  1. What were the PROS of moving in together? Spending time with each other every day. Being able to do spontaneous fun things together. The “deadline” feeling of visits being no more. Falling asleep with him every night. Waking up with him every morning.
  2.  

  3. What were the CONS of moving in together? I moved in with him when my school ended, since he has more serious and permanent ties to his town than I did to mine. But I don’t have a job yet and that’s frustrating, since I left solid leads in my hometown and I know I’d definitely be working by now.
  4.  

  5. Is there anything you wish you had done differently? Nope. Temporary unemployment is much better than not being with him!
  6.  

  7. How did the transition of leaving friends and family go? I’ve moved a lot, so this hasn’t been an issue for me.

Post # 5
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

  1. What were the PROS of moving in together? Ummm… living together! Haha. Waking up to him every morning and going to sleep by him every night. Sharing everything. Someone to come home to and share dinner with ๐Ÿ™‚
  2. What were the CONS of moving in together? Being accountable to someone else. Before, I could not pick up my room for weeks and I was the only one suffering from it. Now, keeping everything neat and tidy is for both of us.
  3. Is there anything you wish you had done differently? Nope. Wouldn’t change those sweet months of getting to know each other’s habits for the world. Even after living together over a year now we’re still figuring it out ๐Ÿ™‚
  4. How did the transition of leaving friends and family go? Fine. We were pretty much inseperable when we were in the same city anyway, so our families took it as it came. There were a few snippy bets from friends about whether or not we’d kill each other finally living together, but we’ve obviously overcome that negativity and now it’s no problem!

Post # 7
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Sigyn: are we dating the same guy?  (lol i’m sure we’re not, but it just sounded so familiar…he has an apartment, younger brother living with him, younger brother living with US when we’ve moved in together…)

anyway, i can’t answer any of your questions, as we haven’t moved in together yet (not till september), but i can sort of answer your last one about friends and family, since i left behind all my family and most of my friends when i moved out here with DH1 for my graduate degree.  we made some new friends, but life divided us too (they live a little over an hour away).  honestly, it was really tough.  i remember feeling so lonely and homesick the first summer we were out here, and DH1 and i had always been pretty reclusive with each othe to begin with (only really needing each other for companionship).  it’s an adjustment to be sure, but you get used to it, and there’s always new friends to be made.  DH1 left all his family behind too.  that’s something that will be different with FI…his family are within a few hours drive.  mine are more like two days’ drive.

Post # 8
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

     

1. What were the PROS of moving in together?

So much fun! We were so excited about finally being in the same city and getting to see each other every day it was a blast. Also, I moved into his house and he gave me free reign to redecorate so I got to work painting and stuff.

2. What were the CONS of moving in together?

     None. Can’t imagine NOT living together….I think that would be weird. Obviously there’s all the getting-to-know-you things about living together — you find out eachother’s faults, but that’s good to know before marrying!

    Wait, I take that back. He  bought the house with his former girlfriend (stupid) and it was really difficult at first because I’d find things of hers. It made me feel like he didn’t care, but really the truth was he didn’t even notice stuff or go in those cupboards often so he didn’t realize it. I’ve systematically gone through the entire house and purged everything of hers.

3. Is there anything you wish you had done differently?

     Nope.

4. How did the transition of leaving friends and family go?

     I was living somewhere that I only had a few friends, as I’d moved the year before from my family. So it’s still hard being away from my family but I made that choice all on my own before even meeting FI…so my situation is a bit different than others.

    The hardest thing about moving where he lived was that he already had a base of friends and I had none. I adopted a few…his friend’s girlfriends or whathaveyou but it’s taken me about 2 years to make my OWN solid friends…girls are hard to make friends with! My other issue is that I left my career (teaching) and haven’t been able to get back into it yet. That makes me really sad ๐Ÿ™

     

Post # 9
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Sigyn: Yeah my guy actually just does the housework if I don’t do it – haha. I of course help out as to not be a total slob but he’s definitely the better one about it!

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