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Co-MOH?

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
  •  
    1.
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    vanilla frosting    September 23, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    So I am giving out my "Will You Be My..." invitations this weekend at our engagement party.  I already asked my MOH back in January (before we were even engagedSurprised) if she would take the job.  Of course she said yes.  However, I am thinking that since I have 6 lovely ladies in my Bridal Party that I would ask an equally good friend to be my Co-MOH.  Said BM lives in Iowa so it would not have  been possible for her to be the MOH with full duties. 

    I feel like this would relieve a lot of stress off of current MOH with planning, etc.  She was just MOH for a mutual friend of ours and I saw what a toll it took on her.  I don't want her being stressed out until the day I get married!!  However, I do not want to offend her either.

    What do we think Bees?

     
    2.
    Member
    3,312 posts
    Sugar bee
    TinyTina    June 2012   Albany, NY

    I'm doing this! I'm also having 6 in my bridal party and am having my 2 best friends as co-MOHs. They are both grateful to be able to split responsibilities and are not offended at all.... I guess it depends on personality though, I could see how some girls could take offense to this.

     
    3.
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    Krises       NYC

    I honestly think it depends on the relationship between the 2 co-MOHS. Do they know each other well? Are they friends despite of you? If these two women do not have a relationship (and a good one, at that) regardless of you and your wedding, I would not do it. There would be too much opportunity for drama and making everything twice as hard on both of them. When I get engaged, I plan on doing this with my sister and my cousin, but obviously they are close as well so I think that there is a less opportunity for any jealousy or resentment as they will be able to work together well.

    Also, I might run this by your previously chosen MOH. Considering she has been under the impression for months that she has been your sole MOH, it might hurt her feelings that you now want to give someone else the title as well. I think it would have been different if you had asked both in the beginning, but since you didn't, I would approach your original MOH before you ask the other girl to step up.

     
    4.
    Hostess
    3,884 posts
    Honey bee
    caszos    June 2010   Florida

    I totally did this! 

    MOH1 - Married, lived where I lived, preggo with her first child, etc.  Huge support of me and my husband in our relationship and really more there for support couldn't do a ton in regards to planning etc.

    MOH2 - Best friend from High school and throughout college.  She knows me very well.  She lives in the town where my wedding was.  She was awesome to help with everything and run errands/etc down there when I couldn't.  

    Both gave speaches at the wedding. 

     
    5.
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    vanilla frosting    September 23, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    I think I will talk to MOH1 about it first.  She and I have a really open and honest relationship and have been friends since I was in middle school.  MOH2 and I have been friends for 4 years in September.  She is my best friend from my adult life. 

    MOH1 and MOH2 have met before.  I had them both down to Philly for Halloween weekend last year and we all had a total blast together.  I felt that they really hit it off. 

    Neither MOH lives in Philly.  MOH1 lives in my hometown in the Poconos, about 2 hours north of Philadelphia.  MOH2 lives in IOWA.

     
    7.
    Member
    1,212 posts
    Bumble bee
    pb and j    September 2011   live in NY, wedding in Baltimore

    i'm having two...i rationalized it by saying one is matron of honor and the other is maid of honor, as one of them is married already, plus MOH1 is hoping to be pregnant by our wedding and understandably will have her own things going on. i think MOH1 was caught a little off-guard when i told her she had a co-MOH, but ultimately i think they both understand. MOH1 lives where i live (as does one bridesmaid),  MOH2 is closer to where the wedding is (and the other bridesmaid lives down the street from our hopeful venue), so i'm sure i will be leaning on different ones for different things. having been the MOH for MOH1 already, i can say that i definitely wouldn't have minded sharing the responsibility with another person!

    meanwhile, FI is using my two MOHs as an excuse to have two best men (and thus not offend either of his best friends). from the feedback we've gotten, having two best men is much weirder than having two MOHs. oh well, it works for us (i think this will be my wedding planning mantra).

     

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