Weddingbee boards

Having a bassinet right next to your bed is safe, and they even make ones that attach to your bed so you really just need slide the baby in or out of it between nursing rather than needing to get out of your bed, or pick up the baby if there are worries about waking him/her. 

I'm an SLP and have had 2 patients in Early Intervention due to anoxic brain injuries from co-sleeping.  The reason it works in say, Africa, and not here - is because of the type of bedding we use.  Squishy mattresses, lots of pillows, layers of sheets - all of these things can very easily end up covering a baby's face while Mom is sleeping.  Because infants don't "alert" as well as we do when they're not breathing (ie: sleep apnea episodes), they can actually go a dangerously long time before there is any hint that they're not breathing.

It doesn't seem worth the risk to me when there is a very simple, very convenient alternative.

@Moja Milosc: that ad angered and sickened me when it came out. I believe that if you co-sleep safely it's just as safe as a baby in a crib. You wouldn't surround your baby in the crib with a bunch of sheets, blankets, pillows and lay them on their stomach like the ads and nay-sayers suggest that you do!

Dr. Sears and Dr. McKenna are famous doctors who advocate this practice and have released many rebuttals in response to the ad of how to effectively cosleep.

One main rule is to make sure there are no pillows or blankets near baby's head. So make sure you wear a sweatshirt to bed or something warm, because if baby is next to you, you can't have the duvet up to your chin.

Also, a LARGE number of supposed co-sleeping deaths come from parents using some sort of substance, but they never report that. Sleeping pills, smoking, any type of drug (even pain reliever) - you are not supposed to co-sleep! Or if you are extremely tired, opt for a bedside bassint instead. If you are obese, it is recommended not to co-sleep because of a higher risk of smothering baby.

Also, fathers can present a big problem. They don't have the same maternal instinct that we do. So if you place the baby in the middle of the bed, fathers can roll over them and not realize it. But a mother would never do that if she is practicing attachment parenting techniques and breastfeeding, she is completely in tune with her baby. Dr. Sears says that co-sleeping gets mom and baby into a rhythm, they start to be on the same sleep pattern, breathing pattern. Breastfeeding becomes a lot easier and mothers often have to hardly wake up to feed because it will come so naturally.

I generally don't advertise that I plan to cosleep because of these types of responses, but you should read up on it from doctors who advocate for it too, so that you're not hearing just the fear side of it. I think it's a beautiful thing and it makes sleeping a lot easier and more enjoyable (my sister co-sleeps, she keeps her son in the crook of her arm, and says that he sleeps 10-12 hours A NIGHT at only 4 mos old, waking 1-2x to nurse. How blissful does that sound!).

Here is a good article from Dr. Sears about the Milwaukee ad. As a parent, no matter what parenting choices we make, we'll get grief about it from someone. You have to do what YOU feel is right for you and your child. Dr. Sears says that the best sleeping arrangment for your family is where everyone sleeps best. If that's in bed with you, great, if it's in a crib- that's fine too. 

can't afford a crib?I don't know anyone who has a child and can't afford a crib. Sorry to be insensitive.

So these people are not in a good financial situation. I'm going to go ahead and stereotype that if you are in that kind of financial crisis that you can't provide your child (that you had NINE MONTHS to plan for) a place to sleep, then you are probably uneducated on many topics regarding children and co-sleeping is probably one of them.

yes, babies can be a suprise and I am not faulting anyone for that-but they don't arrive the day after you find out you are pregnant. Not having a crib ready, and choosing not to use one are two totally different things. It makes total sense that it is an issue of being uneducated and unprepared.

EDIT-We purchased a floor model crib for 70% off. It just needed to be painted. there are ways to afford cribs. people make me so mad.

@flamingred: yeah that is a good point, sad but true. It's not hard to find a friend who is done having kids and wants to get rid of their crib too, and target has cribs for at little as $130 that obviously passed safety tests so they're just as good as the $400 ones. You'd just need to save $15/mo for nine months to afford that! Not that hard..

@MrsMeNow: Oh my gosh I totally agree! I wish they focused on educating parents instead of scaring them :( Like some of the PP's said, it's inevitable that at least a couple times you fall asleep with your baby, it just happens! I did it all the time while I was a nanny, unintentionally. And it's sad that most of the deaths come from people under the influence of drugs, obese fathers and other risk-factors that then give those of us who DO co-sleep safely a really bad rep! Like we're trying to purposely kill our babies is how people treat us and that is not right. 

Sorry for me rant :-/ I have strong feelings on this. 

Parents should be able to sleep how they want SAFELY without any discrimination from other people.

Well I'll be completely honest here. We co sleep. We have since my little one was about 2 mos old. We had him in a basinet for the first couple months, and then switched him to the crib. But he learned to roll over very early on, and he would always roll onto his tummy, and it terrified me. He was too big for the bassinet and so I brought him to our bed. We have put him in his crib off and on since then but always found co sleeping so much more enjoyable for the three of us. However, within the next few months he will be in his new bed, since he really is getting older. But we have never gone to bed drunk, we don't smoke ( unless drinking, which is very seldom), and my husband can't roll over for the life of him without waking up because of back problems, so I highly doubt he would smother him. And my son is  2 now, so I am certain it wouldn't be easy to do so now anyways.

Oh and we can afford a crib, he had a crib, it wasn't about finances.

@Cash000:

just to be clear - the majority of incidents are not from a parent actually rolling over on their child and not waking up, but simply pulling a sheet up, moving a sheet, having a pillow shift or fall, or moving in such a way that the mattress obstructs the baby's mouth.

@mandypop:

Yes I realize this. We have taken the proper precautions. Thanks. 

@Moja Milosc: The one I've used before is called the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper, it's the most popular one on the market. It is kind of crazy that it's the same price as a crib and much smaller (they are only supposed to use it until they can roll over, so 4-6 mos old). I see them on craigslist ALL the time though, so check there. 

Also there are other "tools" or resources out there if you're worried about baby rolling off, I love the humanity sleeping pad (so baby can sleep on your side of the bed), but it's expensive. 

@Mrs. Spring: Exactly. That's why those ads are so deceptive, the "studies" they quote say thousands of co-sleeping deaths, but they don't say how many were under influence or co-sleeping safely. 

I also second reading books/articles by both those doctors. Very straightforward, easy to understand, and teaches safety. I liked the Attachment Parenting book by Dr. Sears, he also talks about co-sleeping in his The Baby Book.

I would not say I "co-slept" with my babies although I did bring them into bed with me occasionally.  I think there are probably very few moms who NEVER bring their baby into bed with them.  I think the main problem is that a lot of moms are simply not thinking- pillows blankets etc.  But there are also a lot of stupid people out there.  I sense the nesting section of the weddingbee community is a lot more educated than the general public.  So is our experience akin to the huge knife in the bed with our baby? No.  But the general public?  Yeah maybe- there are a heck of a lot of people who need to get a clue out there.

I personally am very against co sleeping there are to many risks involved and I am not willing to put my child in that situation. 

That and I know it can lead to a child not being able to sleep on their own or fall asleep on their own from my BIL/SIL with their daughter.  They had her co sleeping and she would not fall asleep at all unless both her parents were in the bed with her. Even then she wouldn't sleep. She would not sleep on her own.  She is now 2.5 and just finally at the age of 2 she was able to sleep on her own. 

We had our son in our room in a craddle for a week, then he moved into his own room with the cradle. We have had NO issues what so ever with him sleeping on his own or falling asleep. 

This is the product I was describing:

I think a company called "Side by Side" makes a variety of them.

Summer Infant makes an inexpensive infant cot (we got ours at Babies R Us) that you can put right in your bed alongside you. We used this for 5 months with my son and it was a lifesaver. I researched this topic heavily and this was the safest option I could find. The only thing is that you need a king size bed to comfortably fit the cot.