Co-Worker basically told me my marriage would fail…

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, that sounds really upsetting to hear! But on the other hand, I would assume she meant it more as “It can happen to anyone, you never know what’s going to happen in life” moreso than “Your marriage will fail.” It sounds as though this is a really tough time for her and I’m sorry she took it out on you.

Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper

I know the feeling. My soon-to-be husband works in the Navy. He deploys often with primarily men and he gets the, “When you get married you’ll be unhappy.” Or, “She’ll stop doing the laundry/cooking/loving you/etc” shit from them.

One man actually refers to his wife as “The old wet hole.”

Husband and I are massive trolls in the real world and online, so we’ve taken this as a personal challange.

Don’t let it get to you. Take it as a challange, accept it and move on.

I told to-be Husbutt that I’m going to be the best damn wife this planet has ever seen, that way when he deploys, he can brag about his wife to all the miserable men.

Member
1436 posts
Bumble bee

@Songbird29:  People say stupid things, especially when they’re bitter. My good friend’s coworker asked “are you spending a lot of money on your wedding?” to which my friend uncomfortably answered “um, yeah, kind of.” Her coworker then said “yeah, we spent a lot of money on our wedding, too.  I wish I had saved it for the divorce.” haha… like… WHAT kinda shizzz is that to say to a bride-to-be?

FI’s boss, before he asked me to marry him, said “Do you think you’re going to marry her?” His reply was “Yes, I do.” She immediately told him “No, you won’t. You’ll marry someone from here.” (I’m a foreigner in this country). He laughed at her stupidity and said “Uhh, no, I won’t. Even if I don’t marry Lana, I won’t.” HA.

I think sometimes people think they’re being insightful, but they’re really just being rude. Or maybe that’s the intention. Who knows. Ignore it.

Member
9071 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Dont worrry about it too much, just blow it off… at this point she probably just thinks every marriage will fail and wasnt attacking you personally.

Member
8046 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Songbird29:  That would tick me off too!! I guess she is just bitter… that’s the only way to explain it. At least she’s just a coworker. I’d pity her more than anything.

Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

I can understand your frustration and I’m sorry they said those things to you. I had people say “don’t get married” “biggest mistake you will ever make” etc. right after he proposed to me! People can be so rude, you love each other, don’t sweat it 

Member
567 posts
Busy bee

I understand. I’m not even married yet and I’ve had older women telling me how sick and tired I will be of my future husband and how he too will do all the irritating things their husbands do to them. The funny thing is they’re the ones who always initiate those conversations about marriage. I nod and smile, but I tuned them out long ago.

Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee

Good grief…Sad, jealous women. You just keep rubbing your happy marriage in their face. :)

Member
439 posts
Helper bee

@Songbird29:  

Some people are just bitter.  If they convince themselves that everybody’s marriages are miserable and will end in divorce then they don’t have to feel so bad about their own failed marriage.  Don’t pay it any mind, just have some sympathy for her and try to understand how difficult it would be to go through a divorce.

Member
4714 posts
Honey bee

While some people are genuinely bitter, it sounds to me that this was more of a case of talking before thinking. Some people in a social situation (i.e. 3 or more people present) just say something stupid because they can’t think of anything else to say.

If they were serious, well it’s just that silly “It happened to me so obviously it will happen to you” reasoning. Some people can’t comprehend that not everyone is the same.

Member
21 posts
Newbee

I’d say it was just a bitter comment, probably not even meant as an attack on *your* marriage persay.  It sounds like right now she’s just anti-husbands!  Though yeah, she shouldn’t have said it, I wouldn’t take it personally.

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