Co-worker Conundrum

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I only invited my boss(es). One whom I get along well with his wife & him and the other who I am inviting out of respect. I don’t hang out with my co-workers outside of work, so when pressed for space, invited friends instead.

Post # 4
715 posts
Busy bee

@seames:   you have to draw the line somewhere… so if you’re having the no-management-rule, i’d stick to it. (and be aware that she could be upset)
if you feel worse about asking for her adress and then not inviting her, invite her and be prepared that others might be upset.  The problem is you’ll never be able to please everyone.

Post # 5
11593 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you specifically ask her for her address for a wedding invitation, or did you just ask in passing?  If you already told her she was invited, it would be pretty rude to back down.  If you just asked for it without the wedding attached, then I suppose you could skip her invitation.

If her husband works with your FI, you could always explain it to other people who get upset (and bring it up first) that they were invited as a social unit, as her husband was invited by your FI. 

Or, you could take her aside and mention that you didn’t invite other management and want to keep it quiet.  That’s not the best approach because it puts her in a weird situation with her colleagues and with having to avoid talk about your wedding when it may come up. 

Post # 6
4 posts

Thanks ladies! I hadnt considered using the connection between our husband and FI as a justification if needed. Since I did specifically ask for the address for the wedding I think I will continue to invite her and if managment asks/is offened I can say it was because our hunny’s work together.


Thank you!

Post # 7
32 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

My fiancé and I are also having problems with coworkers. We decided to base it on some simple criteria, one do we hang out with you outside of work? two have you been to our house for a social function? Three have you invited us to your house for social function? That way it’s pretty clear who we were actually friends with , and who is just a work buddy.

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