Post # 1
I sometimes can’t stand the things that come out of my co-workers mouth sometimes. I get that she is honest, but there are some things that should be kept to herself.
There are two things she said to me that pissed me off beyond belief, and I don’t make it a big deal bc I share an office with her and work closely with her so I shut my mouth to avoid drama and bullshit.
Let me explain the situation, DH has gone out and come home a bit tipsy, not drunk/sloppy/falling all over – tipsy and silly. I laugh. I am not thinking that he has a drinking problem because before this past Tuesday, I can’t remember the last time that happened. So he did something that made me laugh and I shared it with my co-worker (which I have now learned another thing not to talk to her about). And she said “your husband is a drunk” and I said excuse me? She said you heard me, and I said ‘um no he is not, anyway…” and I went back to work
Yesterday, I forgot my purse in the office and I had made a comment saying ‘I can’t believe I did that” (I can’t I’ve never done that before) I was so distracted. She says to me “I can” Well whats that supposed to mean?
Today, we were looking at an article where this woman had deer’s in her wedding picture and somehow the topic of a “trash-the-dress” shoot came up and one of my other co-workers (we will call her co-worker B) said well, what do you plan to do with your dress? And I said well I preserved it. And co-worker B said “and what? You really think your daughter will wear it?” And I said I don’t know, but if she doesn’t I plan to dye it and wear it as my mother of the bride dress, take out the crinoline and you have a nice evening gown. Co-worker A said “what? That’s so ridiculous and tacky. You are going to look ridiculous” ßWTF?
It’s so hard to share an office with someone that you pretend to be nice to but really cannot stand. I think she thinks I am really naive and I am not. I am not stupid. I don’t like drama, and I don’t work for a huge company, the company is worth millions but not a company that needs 100’s of employees to run the place so I don’t have a “HR” to report to. So I make the best of what I have been dealt. I am just venting. She is way too opinionated to the point where its hurtful, and I don’t think that’s right. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all! Right?
Post # 2
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
Ew. She sounds miserable. That sucks. With people like that, I feel like sometimes it’s best to just remind yourself that clearly they are deeply flawed, unhappy people. For instance, I used to work with a guy who was nasty like that for no reason. In meetings, privately, just all the time. My friend and I started saying (in our heads of course) “and that is why your wife dumped you.” (His wife left him for her HS boyfriend that she reconnected with on facebook, it was a debacle. It’s not nice, but when you’re with someone that toxic you have to do what you have to do to get through it.
Post # 3
She is a total bitch, you should seriously confront her. I’m like you, I don’t like drama at all and most of the time if not all, I try to not answer to mean comments etc. I wouldn’t even dream of saying those stuff she said to you, even if your husband was really a drunk(which he is not but that’s what she would like to believe bec she can’t stand two people being happy). I’m pretty sure that you think the solution is being nice to her but it’s not because she will not appreciate it. You need to be firm with those kinds of people, because that’s the only way they will respect you. You know that’s just how they respond to their surroundings, and they think those who are nice like us are “naive little girls”. I’m not saying you should be like her, but you can literally say it to her face that she is really rude and you don’t wanna talk/be friends if she is gonna keep on with her stupid rudeness. Good luck and don’t let her get to you!
Post # 4
Ugh. I deal with a couple of people like this on a regular basis, and it is very taxing. They take every single thing you say as an ‘in’ to try and insult you. You could say “the weather sucks today” and they’d find some way to pick a fight with you over it.
I’m convinced that people like this are just unhappy. And of course, once someone has decided that they don’t like you, then everything you do becomes offensive to them. It’s unfortunate, but it happens. So what I do is I just completely ignore these people, like they don’t even exist. They make their comments and I don’t even look at them. I never respond. If you don’t give them the fight they’re looking for, they’ll eventually realize that you’re no fun and maybe they’ll leave you alone. Bonus: if everyone else sees you behaving this way, maybe they’ll take your lead as well. Eventually, Coworker A is going to find that she’s awfully lonely with everyone pretending she doesn’t exist. And then maybe she’ll try being less of a bitch.
Good luck! Adults that act like children: pretty goddamned annoying.
Post # 5
- Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club
Ugh, what a toxic personality. I’ve dealt with a few of those too, so I understand! I hope it’s ok if I share some coping mechanisms that have worked for me… I know you’re venting, but I hope you can find a way to stop some of this- you deserve some peace and decency at work!
My best, useful-in-most-situations, always easy to remember statement is, “That’s an interesting opinion to have.” It acknowledges that they said something (these are often attention-seeking folks who will keep it up/get worse if ignored), doesn’t validate what they said (interesting does not mean ok/appropriate/agreeable), and it can open up dialogue (“Why is that interesting?” “Well, I think THIS WAY and you think THAT WAY. I think differing opinions are interesting.”).
I also like asking, “What?” or “Why?” and having the person explain their statment to me. “You can believe that I forgot my purse? Why is that?” AND PAUSE. The pause is awkward, so you have to make yourself outlast it. Sometimes they just completely back down and say nevermind!
Post # 6
Daizy914: You might work with my FI’s aunt lol.
Your coworker sounds like a miserable bitch!! That’s her cross to carry. I work with a few of these, one who is particularly heinous. She has a terrible reputation in our entire building. Everytime she says or does something that gets me, I just think of what an unhappy human being she must be in her own mind and body to emit that kind of negativity all day. That makes me feel better LOL!!!
Post # 7
She clearly doesn’t like or respect you for whatever reason. It stinks that you share an office, but try to say as little as possible to her beyond niceties and ignore any comments that you don’t like.
Post # 8
soontobeMrsBoo: imnotgettinmarried: iarebridezilla: you are absolutely right. misery loves company.
wvlefty: i did! i did ask her that and she just laughed, and said “because…” because why? you think i do “ditzy” things like that all the time? (i didn’t say that but i can tell thats what she thought). again i am the naive one in the office and I am not naive.
BurlapnLace: Lol – I don’t know what her deal is and I definitely will be taking jamb: advice and saying as little as possible. I for sure won’t be talking about DH – I don’t talk about him much to begin with but it was a funny story I wanted to share and its sad she took it negatively.
She is not that much older than me and acts like she knows everything and her way is the right way.
Post # 9
Daizy914: She sounds bitter at life. Next time you’re having a conversation with someone else and she interjects, I’d probably tell her that I wasn’t talking to her, but thanks.
Eventually, she might get the hint. I’d like to tell you to not give her the time of day, but someone like her- she already thinks she has the “upperhand” and just won’t stop.