Post # 1
Ok bees…. have a question. I got engaged December 2012 and since then as most of you could relate my whole world has turned into all things wedding. We’ve set a date of 5/11/2013 and I have been planning, planning, planning ever since. That being said…..
I have this co-worker who got engaged two weeks ago… She’s the receptionist at my office… she kind of runs to her own drummer a little odd at times… BUT… in converstation one of the other girls in the office asked her if they had thought about a date… she responds oh yeah 10/13/2012. That’s 5 months away. No venue, no dress. etc… she then proceeds to say… she’s looking for an outdoor venue because she’s having a rutic/vintage themed wedding with mason jars, wild flowers etc… her colors are going to be yellow… My other co-worker was like.. wow you just decribed Cat’s wedding. She responds.. oh really? I had no idea.. (LIE) she’s been around when I’ve let out tiny details of my wedding. I’m super low key.. but the two things I have let out are.. one my colors are yellow and grey.. and my wedding is rustic themed with all things burlap and mason jars.. that’s it… The fact that she pretended she didn’t know was like.. wow… really…
Now don’t get me wrong I know I’m not the only bride in the world with the same colors and same theme.. I know.. i get it… BUT!!! is it different that she’s taken all my ideas? Now she’s asked me about my photographer, dj… I’m like.. this is way too awkward…
Post # 3
Eh, I would take it as a compliment. Since she is just a coworker (and not a family member or close friend) it’s not like you two will have a lot of the same guests anyway.
Post # 4
They are so far apart from each other no one will notice… or care. Just enjoy your planning!
Post # 5
If it’s making you uncomfortable at this point I would stop talking about your wedding with any coworkers. If they ask just say you want to keep things as a surprise (if they are invited) or that you’d rather tell them all about it after the wedding is over.
Post # 6
I would just stop talking to her about your wedding. Or give vague answers. If she asks you about your photographer and DJ, just said you’ve looked at a few, but haven’t settled on any yet. Don’t give her any further details unless you want her wedding to be the same as yours!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t be that offended, grey and yellow were popular wedding colors this year and mason jars don’t seem to be that original anymore. A wedding is either going to be outside or inside, and it seems that most that go with outside are going with ‘rustic’.
As for the vendor questions… I would just direct her to how you found yours but not who specifically you are using.
Post # 8
I would not get worked up about this. Just search wedding on pinterest and you’ll find a dozen grey and yellow rustic weddings with mason jars. It’s very popular right now (mostly because it’s totally awesome). So don’t assume she “stole” your ideas. You probably just have similar tastes and have seen some of the same inspiration because it’s all over the web. You don’t have to share your vendors if you don’t want to, but I know I’ve asked anyone who has recently gotten married in my town for vendors, not becaue I want to copy them but because I like to support smaller vendors who survive by word of mouth. Enjoy your own awesome wedding and don’t worry about hers.
Post # 9
If you don’t have duplicate guests (or very few), I would just shrug it off and move on. That being said, if it makes it uncomfortable, you can always “lie” about your vendors and say either you haven’t picked one out yet (since you still have a whole year to go) or give her some suggestions for good ones but not necessarily “the one”. For example, with photographers, I’m sure you looked at a few before making a decision. I don’t like people copying me so we’ve leaked information out to very very very few people and only those closest to us in a private conversation. Otherwise, I usually just give vague details to other people, such as co-workers, such as “Oh yeah, we’re going to have a DJ, probably something modern…”
Plus, she can try to copy you all you want, but if it’s not “her”, then it won’t turn out well anyway as it’s not a reflection of who she/they is/are. It’s like when photographers copy a unique style from another photographer; the copier never does it half as good and it shows.
Post # 10
It’s very likely that you will have very few of the same guests. Maybe she’s not inviting anyone from work. Take it as a compliment.
Post # 11
Ugh dont you hate when people do that… it really can bug the crap out of you..
where I work at… two other girls are engaged and getting married… their colors and themes are wayyy different than mine… except for this one co worker… who is not engaged… when I got engaged in Dec. I started showing people my ideas on pinterest and etsy and so on… this co worker who doesnt have a boyfriend would come in my office and would see me looking up stuff and would be around when people would be like “oohhhh i love that.. that is such a great idea… ” well she then started looking up stuff and starting throwing stuff in peoples face and it annoyed me soo bad bc i felt like anytime I brought up my real wedding she would start throwing out ideas for her imaginary wedding… so finally I just stop bringing it up in front of her and only when she wasnt around would I ask peoples opinions. Even though it was super annoying and I would be in bad moods, it made me realize she is super jealous.. maybe not of me exactly but of that fact that everyone is getting married in our office but her… your story is a little different but kinda the same.. even though people who you work with dont say it outloud they prob. notice that she is “copying you” or trying to out do you bc others like your ideas. dont let her bring you down about planning. plan your wedding how you want too… maybe just dont talk about it in front of her. your wedding will be beautiful and perfect 🙂
Post # 12
If you’re using one of the most popular current color combinations and some of the most popular current decor elements, it’s hardly stealing just because you know another person using the same themes. If, however, you truly feel she is trying to completely copy your look, then just stop letting any details slip. Don’t offer up any names or thoughts on the vendors. Wish her well in her search with vendors and a venue, and leave it at that. Your weddings are 7 months apart, even if you do have duplicate guests, they will never remember or care what things are similar between your weddings.
Post # 13
…Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
Post # 14
Thanks ladies… like I said… I know Im not the only bride in the world with a rustic themed with yellow and grey…a lot of my ideas originated from googling yelllow/grey wedding ideas. However I think it bugged me more that she acted like she had no knowledge of my ideas. She could have owned it and said i really liked your ideas and I thought about incorporating those into my own plans.. then I would have been ok. As far as the vendors.. if she would have asked after the fact I’d give her all my vendors numbers but I haven’t even used them. I am more than sure we will have a few of the same guests. I think that is what’s bugging me the most. She is not girly at all so these ideas aren’t her at all which is why it’s like.. REALLY?!
I decided no more talking about my wedding at work…