(Closed) Co-worker’s husband is texting me

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What should I do about this?
    Nothing--you are making WAY too big of a deal out of this! : (29 votes)
    52 %
    Let Jane know and see what her thoughts are on the situation. : (23 votes)
    41 %
    Other--explain below. : (4 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @keepsmiling19:  Well if you are all mutual friends I dont see a problem with it. Its about sports so its not like it could be misconstrued about anything else. He probably is just a little over excited that he found someone who loves his sports team as much as he does.

    Post # 4
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I have lots of male friends and I wouldn’t think anything of this really. It wouldn’t make me angry if my Darling Husband was texting a female friend about sports. Sounds like he just has found someone he can talk about basketball with!

    Maybe just ask Jane how she feels though? Maybe even just bring it up casually in conversation?

    Post # 5
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    i have texts and chats with scuba buddies who are male and i tell my husband – only one i sometimes think is a bit too much so i simply cut back my responses until we go back to the occassional chat

    as you are concerned just bring it up in conversation with your friend “did Dave tell you he sent me a text about ABC” and make joke about it, maybe mention your husbands response to his basketball comment – there is no drama here but open communication for all usually means no hurt feelings

    Post # 6
    5985 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @keepsmiling19:  this really depends. For me, I would never text another man besides Darling Husband who I am not related to. I find it strange. I find it inappropriate. However, every relationship is different.

    Post # 7
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think these are harmless and he probably is just happy to have something to talk shop with. That being said, I would mention it casually to your friend, or jokingly text her and be like “why don’t you tell your husband to cry me a river about his losing team” or something related to his sports team or whatever so its out in the open. I feel like the more out in the open it is, the less threatening it is.

    Post # 8
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    I would mention it to Jane just so you’re sure to keep everything up front and open. Tell her the only thing you and her husband text about is sports but at least it’ll relieve your conscience.

    Post # 10
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    If you are unsure of whether or not Jane knows, I would just casually bring it up, like “your husband texted me the funniest thing about (insert bball team here)”.  It doesn’t sound inappropriate at all though!

    eta didn’t realize I said the exact same thing as @eloping!!


    Post # 11
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Honestly, do you value his friendship that much?  I think its totally fine to be friends with men, but I’d probably just ignore the texts, to be honest.  I know there’s nothing weird going on but I’d just let this dude go.

    Post # 12
    1314 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think it’s sounds pretty harmless and okay but maybe casually mentioning it to Jane just to make sure it’s okay might make you feel better. 

    Post # 13
    390 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as the conversation is appropriate.  I’m fine with my fiancee texting other women that doesn’t bother me and I sometimes text my BFF’s husband again, as long as the conversation is appropriate I don’t see it as a problem. I would be honest about it with your friend though and just tell her what you talk about.  Don’t try and hide it from her. 

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