(Closed) Co workers think im too young to get married!

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: 19 too young to be engaged?
    Yes : (237 votes)
    68 %
    No : (114 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I honestly think it depends on more of who the person is and the maturity level they have. I know couples who have gotten married in their 30s and have been divorced within a few years. I find it really difficult to make assumptions like that based on age. Just ignore the naysayers. I know this is easier said than done, but it’s one of those things you have to face when you get engaged young. And yeah, it sucks. Where I am from, it is not uncommon at all for 19 year olds to get engaged and married. In fact, it is the norm. I am 23 and feel old here for waiting so long to get married. Out of my high school graduating class, I am one of the oldest. However, any other place I am told I am too young. LOL. It’s like I can’t win! So I totally understand where you are coming from. Just do your best to ignore them. Good luck!

    Post # 4
    2192 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Well, your poll suggests that you might want to hear what we actually think if we don’t believe 19 is old enough. But, your actual post doesn’t seem that way. So, I will keep this short and sweet.

    I’ve been there and done that, at those exact ages. I wasn’t ready and everyone told me I wasn’t but I knew better than everyone. And that marriage was awful and lasted a whole 2 years.  I am just now getting remarried and it will be 10years in between my marriages and that’s because I didn’t have a clue who I really was or what I really wanted at 19yrs old or 23yrs old. I would be one of those ppl telling you it may not work and that IMO you are too young. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t hope I was wrong and wish you luck.

    Post # 5
    3525 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I was 19 when we got engaged, 21 when we married. If you’re ready, you’re ready and age is just a number. If you’re having doubts, then wait a bit.

    Post # 6
    841 posts
    Busy bee

    It all depends on the person. If you know that this is where you want to be and you have a full understanding on what marriage etc means then no, I don’t think you or anyone in that age range for that matter, would be ‘too young’ to get married.


    Congrats!! 🙂

    Post # 8
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If you want my honest answer, yes 19 is too young.  My husband and I were together when we were 19.. but didn’t get married until we were 25.  I think at 19 most people don’t really know what they want from life yet, even if they think they do.  And just looking at the language you use in your post it seems like you might still be a little less mature than most people who are getting married.   I think it’s hard to say that at 19 you have “enjoyed your single life”.  You’ve barely even started your dating life.  There are certainly people who get married young and are happy for the rest of their lives, so it can happen, and I hope it does for you.  But if I were in your position I would wait until I had experienced more of life before I decided to get married.

    Post # 10
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    How long have you and your Fiance been dating? How much life experience have you had both with and without your fiance? I think these factors are more important than age. Personally I was not ready to be married at 19 – I had just started dating Darling Husband and we were in that honeymoon phase for the first 9 months -1 year. Then we started dealing with difficult situations. We learned how to fight, how to cope with hard family situations and be there for one another. By the time we got married I was 23 and we felt like we had been through everything together and survived it all so we felt ready. You could always wait a couple of years to have your wedding just to make sure you are ready for it.

    Post # 11
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Well, I wouldn’t say it won’t last but I will say you are too young.  You probably won’t want to hear this, but you will change A LOT between 20 and 30.  Even more than from 30-40 (voice of experience here:) Nineteen is way to young to want to settle down for good, as PP have said, you have a lot of life experiences ahead of you.  Travel, go to college, , etc. That’s what your 20s are for.  You may be mature for your age, but you are not grown up.  No one is at 19.  In fact, most of us aren’t even grown up at 29. lol

    That’s not to say you shouldn’t stay with your Fiance, just maybe wait a bit to actually get married.   

    Post # 13
    46226 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    As your post stated, I will keep my opinion to myself.

    It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s opinion is anyway. People in love do what they want.

    Post # 14
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I am also hispanic and am the FIRST to make it past 21 without a baby, have a career, own a home, traveled and be a self sustaining individual NOT dependant on a man.

    While I’ve gotten some grief for reaching “old maid” age at 30, I know I have also made my mother very proud that I’m not living the life my cousins are living.  I am going to marry my Fiance this year and have hopefully built a stable foundation from which our relationship to grow. My cousins and sisters have also married in your same younger age range.  Most of those marriages have endured through cheating, abuse, etc as each spouse grew up and changed.

    You are the only one who can answer what is the best age for you to marry.  I guess it depends on what you want out of life and if you’ve reached the goals you want to attain as an individual.  Just keep in mind that if you love each other now, and know you want to marry, what difference will it make if you have an extra long engagement?

    Post # 15
    3525 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Not sure why the judgment claws are coming out–people get so hostile about this stuff, and I don’t know why. It’s not a black-and-white issue, people. Age =/= knowing what’s best for every single person; one person’s experiences do not and should not determine what is best for another. OP, I’d like to add one more thing.

    Age doesn’t matter so much as experience and knowing where you want to go in life. I am a firm believer in having a plan–whether it’s work, school, or whatever–and sticking to it. I got engaged young, but I knew that I was going to finish school and get a job in my field, and I wasn’t going to let anyone derail my plans. If you have a strong sense of self and purpose, you’ll be fine.

    It’s dangerous, however, when you are willing to put all of your plans on hold for another person. It’s good to be able to compromise and everything, but your first responsibility at any age should be to yourself. I made it very clear to Darling Husband that I would marry him but I was going to finish my degree and start a career as a writer, and that neither of those things was going to be put on hold just because we were engaged. And he respected me more for it. Likewise, he has plans and I am supportive of that. Knowing where each of you wants to go–and where you want to go together–is key.

    Post # 16
    6825 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Personally I think 19 is to young yes.  Not very many people at 19 are really ready for marriage.  I know when I was at that age, I wasn’t.  Right now in this time of your life you should try to experience what is out there in the world.  If you can make a marriage work at that young of an age good for you!

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