(Closed) Co-Workers What to do?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’ve tried to do the gentle route but it’s just bouncing off. No choice but to be firm and direct.  Be nice about it, but don’t mince words. “Gee, ladies, I’m sorry we got our signals crossed and I’m flattered that you’re so excited for me, but I’m afriad I simply can’t add you to the guest list, there’s just no room at the venue.” 

Extending the invitation then making up a bunch of flimsy excuses won’t work, and banking on your corporate HQ to solve the problem for you definitely won’t work and may even backfire on you.

Post # 4
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve actually been at my job for almost 4 years, and most of my co-workers have been there for at least a year, but I’m not really planning on inviting any of them to the wedding. I am planning on inviting my 2 closest friends, but coincidentally they are no longer in my department. I would love to be able to invite all of my current department, but unfortunately, we may not have the room, so it’ll depend on what the RSVPs look like. I’ve already had one of my co-workers say something like, “I guess I need to be sure I’m not doing something the day of your wedding weekend.” And had to come up with some response about not sure how much room we’d have. So I guess we’ll see what the RSVPs look like, but it’s hard not being able to invite someone who expects an invite, especially when you see them everyday.

Post # 5
46 posts

If I were in your position I would just tell them that the wedding is going to be very small, only family and close friends and you’re sorry but you won’t be able to invite them.  It won’t be easy but obviously you don’t want them there or you wouldn’t be strugging so hard with this 🙂  


I know how you feel though, I’m strugging with how do I invite some of my co-workers but not all of them.  I work at a party supply warehouse with over 400 people and there is no way I can invite them all!  

Post # 6
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hi and welcome to the Hive!

What a tricky spot to be in. I can see myself being in the same kind of predicament and completely caving, so I don’t envy you!

Fishbone is right – you’ve tried the gentle route to no avail, so unfortunately you now need to be firm. You can be tactful, however. Maybe say something like, “Listen, ladies, I am so touched that you are happy and excited for me, really. I’ve been thinking about how to squeeze additional people onto our guestlist, but I had a chat with my fiance this week and unfortunately we are having to keep everything as originally planned,” and then to soften the blow a bit, perhaps add, “There are good friends from my previous job who I’ve not been able to invite and I feel so bad, but the guest list is already bigger than we’d like.”

I think going with the RSVP date idea you mentioned may possibly backfire, so I would personally avoid it. In that situation, what if they say, “Oh, I’m sure they will find a new staff member by the date of your wedding, so I’m just going RSVP now!”? Yikes. I hate these situations. Truly feel for you. Keep us updated!

Post # 7
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I only invited 4 of my coworkers.  I would have loved to invite my whole group but I had to pick and choose. I picked my two closest girlfriends, my “big brother” and “big sister”. Everyone else knows about the wedding but also knows I’m on a super tight budget.

Post # 8
8147 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

i told co-workers from day 1 that we have a teeny venue. i’ve had people make jokes and say they’ll show up though. i just laugh it off… I think by now people understand. Fi and I work at the same company. between us both, that’d be an extra 25 people. that’s our B list though. if family declines, we’ll invite everyone from work. we cant invite 1 without the other 24 though. it’s not fair. It’s touchy…. im sure people will get over it after the fact. i invited my girls at work to my bachelorette party to make them feel involved.

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