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I have hair like you do, and I find that if my hair is flat ironed, it absolutely will not hold curl. What I would tell you to do (this is how I do my own hair all the time) is wash it, put a little bit of product in it, spray with heat protectant, and then blow dry it some with a brush.
After that, just use a spiral curling iron (Mine was like $10 at Ulta and amazing, if you're not sure what it is just google it) and curl your whole head to get get the "pefect curls/ wavy" look that I think you're describing. You can style it once its already all curled. Having the artifical curls will keep you from having the frizzies around your face. Of course, use hairspray too!
Good luck!
I agree with SutSip! I have the same type of hair and it will not hold a curl if I flat iron first. Get a good blow out (it will completely smooth it out if they use the right product and technique) and then curl it.
My hair is coarse and frizzy, but pretty straight. I have the same trouble - if I flatiron it first it just won't hold a curl. It's like it has a one heat styling process tolerance :)
Good luck!
I think you should blow dru it first but not flat iron it. It's hard to curl flat ironed hair.
i have curly hair and if you have the right straightner you can curl your hair with a flat iron and it comes out nice! of course you would have to blow dry your hair out though. Good Luck!
I also agree with do NOT flat iron then curl, it will not hold! I suggest blow drying it out, then curling it. Or if you are more skilled than me, you can use some flat irons to curl hair.
I would try to find a hairstylist who specializes in curly hair and do a trial.
I have the same type of hair and my stylist said DO NOT FLAT IRON it before you do any type of updo if having some type of curl added due to the curls will not stay. She said to come to your hair apt with your hair natural and a good hair stylist can do magic with it.
I have the same exact hair as you. All I have to say is good luck finding a stylist who will work with your natural curls. They will all straighten it and then curl it with a curling iron! I went to many stylists and no one would work with my natural hair. The good thing was my curls held pretty well (probably because my hair is so course), but the curls they made just didn't look like my natural curls.
Have you ever tried to blow dry it out with a brush and then curl it WITH the flat iron? This is what I do with my naturally curly hair and the curls it gives are so natural and soft and hold forever. Try youtubing how to curl your hair with a flat iron...it's really amazing!
@aubiegirl: Omg, you're pretty brilliant. When I was living in Egypt the hairstylists always used flat irons to curl hair and it came out really nice. I could never figure out how to do it at home. It's never occured to me to youtube it until you mentioned it. Funny since I youtube make up and hair all the time...lol
Thank you so much for the tips. I am SO happy I posted here first to hear about the no flat ironing my hair! I am going to look up the flat iron vid to curl hair.
I am stuck finding some pics I like. Anyone have some inspiration pics they want to share? I found this one that I like but not sure if it would work. I think it would just go frizzy with my hair....

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I have very coarse, prone to lots of frizz, curly hair. It's pretty long I guess. I am wanting to find a style that is half up, half down. The half up part hoping not *too* high on my head. I have a veil to wear and think I would like it lower down but I might have to try out both.
The top part of my head gets little frizzies. They are hard to stay put. I find if my hair is flat ironed, it's less frizzy and I have less of a tendency to play with my hair (pull at it, etc).
1) I am looking for real pic of an updo like this (half updo I guess).
2) Should I get them to blow out straight/flat iron straight first? I would like something not bone straight but still a bit curly or wavy etc.
3) I would like some hair pulled out for bangs (not bangs but around my face maybe).
Suggestions?? Thank you!
Sorry for the large pic. This is my hair on the right. This was Dec 2009 so it's probably longer than that now although I need a trim soon.