Post # 1
I kind of gave up on finding a venue that I really loved, to the point where we were just going to go to the town hall and get hitched because I just could not be bothered with it.
However FMIL went …insane at the idea of being cheated out of a wedding so the hunt resumed.
We have literally found our ideal venue, beautiful gardens with fountains, olive groves, gorgeous flowers, knot garden etc. It is exactly what we have been looking for. We are trying to spend as little money as possible and they are $400 for a ceremony and an extra $200 if you want your cocktail hour there but they don’t allow receptions. The thing that was stressing me out with all the other places was the idea of spending so much money on food, wine etc and being expected to dance etc etc which FI and I both hate. When the host of the venue suggested that maybe we should just have a nice, extended cocktail hour halfway between lunch and dinner (4pmish) I felt this massive weight lift at the thought of it. We are having around 30-40 people, all close friends and close relations. Most live locally but some will be travelling. We of course intend to state that it is just a cocktail reception on the invite so people don’t come expecting dinner. We were also thinking that we would take all the relatives that had travelled up out for brunch the following day.
Have you been to a wedding with no reception? Did the bride and groom tell you about it before hand? Would you travel for a loved relations wedding if you knew you weren’t getting a free dinner afterwards?
Post # 3
My SIL didn’t have a formal reception. She had light appetizers and drinks, plus cake and a dessert table. No dancing. They made it clear on the invitation and everyone seemed to have a great time. I would def. travel for a loved ones wedding, no matter if there was a ceremony only, cocktail reception, or full seated dinner. I wouldn’t mind being told what tasty dinner spots were nearby, though, and that might be a nice thing to do for your traveling guests!
Post # 4
@Snowden: I haven’t been to a wedding without a dinner reception but that being said, cocktail receptions ARE a thing. And I think they are perfectly acceptible, and the norm, for that time of day. Appetizers are usually served at a cocktail reception so it’s not like your guests will starve, they’re just not getting a full meal. If I were close enough to the family member or friend, I would still attend no matter how far away. The type of reception would not be a factor.
@littlemisst08: +1 to the listing of good dinner spots! That’s a great idea.
Post # 5
I think this is fine as long as you have some hors d’ouevres or snacks.
The other option is to just have everyone go to a restaurant after for dinner.
Post # 6
@Snowden: As long as you let guests know on the invitation that there will not be dinner, it is totally fine. I would word it as, “Cocktails and hors d’oeuvres to follow.” I go to weddings because I care about the people, not for the free meal, though of course good food doesn’t hurt.
Post # 7
Thank you lovely ladies!
We would be allowing for 10-15 hors d’ouvres per guest plus wedding cake/dessert table which is what a few caterers I have spoken to have suggested. The idea of listing good spots to eat is an excellent one, we will definitely do that.
FMIL said she likes the idea but “If we’re not going to give them proper food the least we can do is pay for their accommodation.” Not sure she gets the whole budget thing…
Post # 8
@Snowden: Goodness, at that point, I would turn and look at your FMIL and tell her, “That sounds wonderful, could you help us pay for it?”
10 to 15 hors d’ouvres and desert would leave me full and at best wanting a midnight snack.
Post # 9
@Misswhowedding: She stole my bank account details and had been putting money in without us knowing so she can have her say. We have told her we don’t need any money from her/help, but since she’s done this she keeps saying “As I am paying for half of it..” we’re holding her money in a seperate account and will give it back to her when it’s all over and paid for because she wont take it back now. She has also been telling relations, mutual friends etc that we have INSISTED she pays for half. Hmmm.
Post # 10
@Snowden: OMG, I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. Wow, just wow.