- 8 years ago
Regular poster here – too embarrassed to post under my own name. That should be my first red flag, right?
In a nutshell, I’m freaking out about getting married. The wedding is in 3 weeks. And all I keep thinking about is if I’m making the right decision.
I love Fiance but there are issues. We differ on smarts and our social outlook. That’s probably the biggest thing (I’m smarter than he is and more outgoing).
This isn’t new news, but for whatever reason, I’m freaking out about it.
I accept Fiance as he is. I know he won’t be a brainiac. But, I’m wondering if I’ll end up resenting him for it. I love our life. He is my center and my calm. When I’m around him, I want to be nowhere else. But, I can’t help wondering if I’m making a terrible mistake and missing out on something by marrying him.
This is very much my personality – I have issues making a decision. I think it’s because I fear I’ll make the wrong decision and I tend to not make a decision at all.
We’ve been together for almost 5 years… so, again, this isn’t anything new. I’ve always been annoyed at his lack of smarts and his introverted personality. I’ve gotten over it by looking at his strengths and thinking about what I love about him, etc.
The other thing that gets under my skin sometimes is his introverted personality. He’s a bit insecure and that comes out in him being quiet. It’s because he doesn’t want to sound ‘dumb’ to people. Instead, IMO, it makes him seem rude and snobbish (because he chooses to be quiet). When it’s just him and me, usually it’s ok. I tend to drive the conversation 70% of the time (which can be annoying too).
I’m not sure if I’m stressed out with wedding planning or if there is something really wrong. On one hand, I feel as if we are already married – on the other hand, I wonder if I’ll regret going through with it… and I also wonder if I won’t feel excited on the wedding day and it will all hit me like a ton of bricks. This all makes me very anxious right now and it makes me kind of dread the wedding vs. anticipate it. It probably also doesn’t help that Fiance and I have been bickering a lot… we talked about it last night and it seems like it’s wedding stress etc – which makes me wonder if this is just cold feet or if I really shouldn’t go through with it….