Cold feet 1 month after engagement?!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Bettyboo1982:  It is! My DH proposed to me and the next day I was crying scared. I told him I was terrified of being married to him because life would change forever. He was very kind and understanding. It’s normal!!


Post # 4
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

@Bettyboo1982:  Of course this is normal! It’s a massive step in life, but you’ll be okay, promise!
I didn’t really freak out, I more so had a panic attack of this new life we were going into… okay I freaked out. It’s scary. It’s hopefully a once in a life time thing, it changes everything, but you get to marry your love, your best friend, partner in crime.

You’ll be okay! <3 

Post # 5
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I had my moment. We got engaged in October. Fast forward to New Years Eve. The week leading up to that moment had been a week from hell. Mr. LK and DS both got violent stomach bugs on Christmas Day. They spent the entire week sick, which meant that I spent the entire week working all day and tending to their sick selves all evening. I was exhausted, it was NYE, Mr. Lk was passed out on the couch by 9pm, his stomach issues were continuing to make my life rather unpleasant, and I had reached my breaking point. I just sat there wondering what in he hell had I signed up for. Is this really what I wanted for the rest of my life? Obviously I answered that question with a yes. Here we are years later, happily married and very much in love, in spite of some difficult issues we are facing. I was freaked out by my doubts when they first happened, but I came to realize that a lil freakout is probably a typical response to such an enormous decision, so I don’t put any stock into it.

Post # 6
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think it’s weirder not to freak out.  Don’t compare how you feel on the inside to how people seem on the outside.  Unless you’re close to a bride, all you’ll hear “I’m so excited to get married!!”, which contributes to the idea that everyone is just ecstatic all the time.  Bull crap.

Marriage is a huge deal.  Possibly having a child with somebody is a huge deal.  I get jitters on the first day of a new job, of course I’m going to get jitters when starting a new chapter of my life.  This level of commitment and responsbility should make you nervous.  

Post # 8
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My husband and I had been together 8.5 years and had a 7 year old child when we got married, and I STILL had my moments. I wouldn’t say I freaked out or had a panic attack, but the finality and the permanent nature of marriage started to scare me a couple of times. 

I knew without any doubts he was my lobster, but I still had to get my head around the whole marriage part of it. 

I think it’s normal

Post # 9
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think it’s totally normal.  I had a couple sob sessions about 2 weeks after I got engaged.  Then I over analyzed every flaw of his, stared at other engaged couples and thought they must be happier than me, then life went back to normal and I became excited about planning LOL


stop worrying unless your gut really is telling you something!!!!

Post # 10
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Bettyboo1982:  yup, i freaked out for a few weeks before he proposed and maybe another week or two after.  but now that things have died down, i am really excited and sure he is the one.  it comes and goes, and things change in your relationship when you reach big milestones. marriage is a leap-of-faith, so being scared is normal.

Post # 11
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think the fact that you are feeling nervous just means you are taking it seriously! I think it’s totally normal. 🙂

Post # 13
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Bettyboo1982:  that’s good, he is a good man!  not trying to rush, but is still taking it seriously.  woo hoo!

Post # 14
4956 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Bettyboo1982:  It’s scary. My FI got drunk one night and told me he had an engagement ring for me. We had only been together a year, and it totally threw me for a loop. For the next few days, that was ALL I could think about.

It’s scary. No matter how much you love your FI and know that you want to be with them, it is SCARY! You are committing yourself to him for the rest of your life! I think what you are feeling is totally normal! 

Post # 15
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s very normal to be afraid marriage is forever .. But ask yourself are you stressing bout the wedding, you said the nerves started after you started booking stuff 🙂 its a huge finacial stress lots of money and planning for one day. An what if it doesn’t live up to what you have built up in your head ?? Thats what stressed me out when I planned my wedding and the day was huge disaster but 6 years later i am more in love with my husband then the day i married him 🙂 what you need is a night in every week if you can.were you watch movies or play games make a dinner together were your pjs dont talk bout wedding stuff and,just be a couple !!! It will help with the stress and help you both stay connected during the  wedding  process 🙂 

Post # 16
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Anna Winery

I couldn’t sleep after we got engaged. I was PANICKING. I had so many things rolling through my head. I got to the point that I didn’t know if it was what I wanted. Now I’ve been married for almost 5 months and it’s the best thing ive done. I love my husband more than ever. 

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