Post # 1
I was a waiting bee for 9 months! couldn’t wait to get engaged and married! we’ve been engaged 1 month and now that the initial buzz has worn off and we’re started to set a date book things etc, i’m feeling really nervous! we live together have a dog and joint loans, so its not as if much will change for us! but i feel panicky….this IS a BIG deal!! I was always somewhat of a nomad, I’ve lived in lots of places and chopped and chnaged as soon as things got rough! i had moved to be with my FI and am 2.5 hours away from all my childhood friends and family! i guess now I’m having a realisation that, this IS IT forever! did anyone else have a mini freak out soon after being engaged?! please tell me this is normal!
Post # 3
@Bettyboo1982: It is! My DH proposed to me and the next day I was crying scared. I told him I was terrified of being married to him because life would change forever. He was very kind and understanding. It’s normal!!
Post # 4
@Bettyboo1982: Of course this is normal! It’s a massive step in life, but you’ll be okay, promise!
I didn’t really freak out, I more so had a panic attack of this new life we were going into… okay I freaked out. It’s scary. It’s hopefully a once in a life time thing, it changes everything, but you get to marry your love, your best friend, partner in crime.
You’ll be okay! <3
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I had my moment. We got engaged in October. Fast forward to New Years Eve. The week leading up to that moment had been a week from hell. Mr. LK and DS both got violent stomach bugs on Christmas Day. They spent the entire week sick, which meant that I spent the entire week working all day and tending to their sick selves all evening. I was exhausted, it was NYE, Mr. Lk was passed out on the couch by 9pm, his stomach issues were continuing to make my life rather unpleasant, and I had reached my breaking point. I just sat there wondering what in he hell had I signed up for. Is this really what I wanted for the rest of my life? Obviously I answered that question with a yes. Here we are years later, happily married and very much in love, in spite of some difficult issues we are facing. I was freaked out by my doubts when they first happened, but I came to realize that a lil freakout is probably a typical response to such an enormous decision, so I don’t put any stock into it.
Post # 6
I think it’s weirder not to freak out. Don’t compare how you feel on the inside to how people seem on the outside. Unless you’re close to a bride, all you’ll hear “I’m so excited to get married!!”, which contributes to the idea that everyone is just ecstatic all the time. Bull crap.
Marriage is a huge deal. Possibly having a child with somebody is a huge deal. I get jitters on the first day of a new job, of course I’m going to get jitters when starting a new chapter of my life. This level of commitment and responsbility should make you nervous.
Post # 7
@canadajane: thanks ladies that makes me feel better! I was sitting on the sofa sobbing last night to my FI saying “is this it? is this it forever?” he prob thinks i’m insane ha ha!!! it was like a rising panic tide! it is a huge commitment. I am not only committing to my FI but also to this life away from my original life. I think its true alot of brides prob feel the same but unless you’re best friends with them all you do here is about the excitement. i think i just need to remember how crap my life would be without this. Everybody moves on with their life at some point.
Post # 8
My husband and I had been together 8.5 years and had a 7 year old child when we got married, and I STILL had my moments. I wouldn’t say I freaked out or had a panic attack, but the finality and the permanent nature of marriage started to scare me a couple of times.
I knew without any doubts he was my lobster, but I still had to get my head around the whole marriage part of it.
I think it’s normal
Post # 9
I think it’s totally normal. I had a couple sob sessions about 2 weeks after I got engaged. Then I over analyzed every flaw of his, stared at other engaged couples and thought they must be happier than me, then life went back to normal and I became excited about planning LOL
stop worrying unless your gut really is telling you something!!!!
Post # 10
@Bettyboo1982: yup, i freaked out for a few weeks before he proposed and maybe another week or two after. but now that things have died down, i am really excited and sure he is the one. it comes and goes, and things change in your relationship when you reach big milestones. marriage is a leap-of-faith, so being scared is normal.
Post # 11
I think the fact that you are feeling nervous just means you are taking it seriously! I think it’s totally normal. 🙂
Post # 12
@Audrey2: phew! thanks ladies! I think i was thinking no one else thinks this, and If I’m thinking this then maybe there’s something wrong in our relationship! i only intend to get married once so yes i am taking it very seriously! My FI and I did have a good chat last night and I asked could we just not have wedding talk for a month and get back to doing fun stuff together! he found this hilarious seeing as I was the one who has talked non stop wedding for the last month! hes fine with no wedding talk for a month! i think i;m calming down now………….. 🙂
Post # 13
@Bettyboo1982: that’s good, he is a good man! not trying to rush, but is still taking it seriously. woo hoo!
Post # 14
@Bettyboo1982: It’s scary. My FI got drunk one night and told me he had an engagement ring for me. We had only been together a year, and it totally threw me for a loop. For the next few days, that was ALL I could think about.
It’s scary. No matter how much you love your FI and know that you want to be with them, it is SCARY! You are committing yourself to him for the rest of your life! I think what you are feeling is totally normal!
Post # 15
It’s very normal to be afraid marriage is forever .. But ask yourself are you stressing bout the wedding, you said the nerves started after you started booking stuff 🙂 its a huge finacial stress lots of money and planning for one day. An what if it doesn’t live up to what you have built up in your head ?? Thats what stressed me out when I planned my wedding and the day was huge disaster but 6 years later i am more in love with my husband then the day i married him 🙂 what you need is a night in every week if you can.were you watch movies or play games make a dinner together were your pjs dont talk bout wedding stuff and,just be a couple !!! It will help with the stress and help you both stay connected during the wedding process 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Anna Winery
I couldn’t sleep after we got engaged. I was PANICKING. I had so many things rolling through my head. I got to the point that I didn’t know if it was what I wanted. Now I’ve been married for almost 5 months and it’s the best thing ive done. I love my husband more than ever.