- Mya Rose
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
I haven’t had the easiest engagement and ever since we got engaged, fiance and I have fought so much. In summary, his parents are paying for our wedding as my parents can’t afford to and they’re divorced. My mom lives in same country as me but my dad lives abroad. I suggested paying for the wedding ourselves but he said his parents will pay as that’s what he wanted and he said that it would be their gift to us.
Ever since I have known my FMIL and FFIL, they have always been so nice to me to my face but they have been so rude to my mother and they have given her such a hard time because “she is expecting them to pay for the wedding” and she has been made to feel so small. I have never said anything to them about this because I was afraid that it would cause a fight. I am not a weak person… I am usually very strong but I feel like a terrible person for letting it get this far without having said anything to them…. so I have written my mom an email to send to them and tell them how she feels and that they need to stop throwing it in her face that “they are paying for a wedding they didn’t expect to” as she never asked them for anything ever and they seem to be perfectly happy to do it when they speak to me and my Fiance…
I am just getting really cold feet now as I really really do not like my FMIL and my FSIL, they are both so cold, especially the FSIL… FMIL is just false. I cannot stand her. How am I going to go through my whole life being surrounded by them all the time???? I really do not know what to do… I feel hate towards them for everything they have said to my mom…. they don’t include her in anything and I never seem to spend time with her anymore…
My fiance is not my mother’s biggest fan, they have had a few fights and he doesn’t really like her which makes things more difficult for me as he gets funny when I want to see her and spend time with her… she is my only family here and when I say this to him he says that he is my family now which is right but i don’t want all my time to be spent with his family…..
obviously my whole family is aware of the situation and i really feel that they think that I am making the biggest mistake of my life… I can tell that they all feel sorry for me… what do i do??
family is important to me… i am worried that if my mom ever needed something in the future, like when she is old, my fiance won’t let me look after her because he has often said to me that “the kids need to come first” and that she cannot be our dependant…. she has a boyfriend now and my fiance has always put pressure on me regarding their relationship “why don’t they get married” etc etc…..
I am just really worried. I don’t want to get married and have children and then get divorced because one day he may make me choose between my mom and him and I will definitely choose my mom. I don’t care!! but then I will be a single mom and it will be so hard for me to find someone…..
please help me… I am really starting to get so upset now and I get so irritated with my fiance all the time….i don’t know if I should go and see a therapist… I am just really worried.
My instinct is usually ALWAYS right and I have always followed it so why am I not following it now especially when it is telling me to run?? it’s just so hard to do… i feel like I have been distancing myself from Fiance… I also feel like we cannot communicate well at all, partly because i start shouting but this is because he raises his voice and to me, that’s shouting and anytime we fight about anything he says I need to stop being so sensitive and that I am so sensitive because of my family!!! I just get more and more and more annoyed… when I try to explain to him that I don’t like his comments, he can see that it’s going to lead into an argument and tells me to shut up!!!
i am just so scared, we don’t have much time left for the wedding and so many people have booked flights and so many things have been booked, but this is my life and those are the wrong reasons to stay in this……. i know it says November, but it’s sooner than that, i just don’t want anyone finding out who i am…