@FloatOn: three time bride chiming in 😉
first time I was very young and had SCREAMING doubts that I ignored and chalked up to cold feet. Turns out my gut was right; he was a lying, abusive, cheating douchebag, and I stuck around for too long.
second time I had no doubts that I could really put a finger on, but there was still a nagging. I remember asking our pastor during pre marital counseling, “if you see something here that I’m missing, please STOP ME!” But no one did, and we were married a few years before he suffered from a serious mental illness and I had to leave with my kids. I still think had he not gotten dangerously ill, we’d still be married. But I also wonder, what were my guts trying to tell me leading up to that marriage???
third time, just this last January, NO DOUBTS, no questions, no nerves…just pure blissful confidence and overwhelming happiness! Could not WAIT to marry this man! And despite some of the bumpy days in blending two families, not a single day goes by that I don’t look at him and just revel in my happiness and how perfect he is for me!
moral of my story is this…your soul is trying to tell you SOMETHING. It may be a “little” something or a “big” something! But it is there for a reason. If he’s already lied to you, there’s a trust issue. it seems from your post, that’s unresolved within you. Going forward, I would strongly suggest you either confront him about it, get ALL the cards out on the table and see if it can be resolved. If your feelings still linger, then I’d say your soul is trying to tell you he isnt your perfect match.
I do understand some brides not having any logical reasons whatsoever to get cold feet, but they do experience some anxieties over the event itself and change in lifestyle that follows…that to me is an “innocent cold feet episode” but what I’m getting the whiff of, from you is, there’s already something about this relationship that is damaged, to some degree, and how can you vow, and commit to a lifetime of that? I believe the foundation on which a marriage is built should be perfectly intact and strong…no cracks, no deficits, no dysfunctions.
best of luck to you dear, for sorting this all out and making the best decision for yourself!!!