Cold Feet

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

There are definitely some red flags here. He puts you down in front of others, questions of trust, and you’re not attracted to him. Those are all things that shouldn’t be happening in a healthy relationship.

Take a good, hard look at what you want, and what you deserve. Things do not change once you’re married. Problems usually are magnified over time. I think you’re having doubts for some really good reasons.

Post # 3
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

“he always puts me down or disrespects me in front of other people” 

“I have become unattracted to him from all the other issues” 

“He truly does love me, but I feel empty saying it back”

^^Any one of these issues would be cause for concern. Put them all together and it’s not looking like a healthy relationship at all. I think you’re making a mistake getting married with the relationship the way it is right now. This sounds more like your brain trying to wake you up rather than cold feet. Why would you marry a guy who puts you down?? I mean hell, the sex isn’t even good.

Post # 4
Member
4845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

This relationship sounds toxic to me. Your SO should be your best friend, not someone who puts you down & disrespects you in any setting.

The healthy part of you is telling you loud & clear this is not a good place to be.

Post # 5
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

winterlove:  Do not get married. You’re saying all of the reasons why you shoudn’t get married and they are all great reasons not to stay in the relationship, let alone marry into it. Get out now. Go find a real man.

Post # 6
Member
3366 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

winterlove:  This is wayyy more than “just cold feet.” These are real concerns that will not be made better by getting married. It really sounds like you should not be getting married at this point.

Post # 8
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

winterlove:  I hope things work out for you… but these are hints at verbal abuse. I’d be afraid it would escalate after marriage.

Post # 9
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

winterlove:  Definitely some red flags here. He should never be putting you down especially in front of others.

The fact that he doesnt trust you is not good. He seems to be very controlling knowing whats going on at all times. Please be careful

Post # 10
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee

Good luck. I think it is smart you are postponing getting married. I can see where its hard, you have a life with this person already and they are in your child’s life. But it has only been a couple of years with him, you  have your whole life ahead of you and shouldn’t spend it being unhappy.

Post # 11
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

winterlove:  

I hope it does get better, mama. You were smart to postpone the wedding. 

 

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