Post # 1
I just recently got proposed on Christmas Day and we’ve set a wedding date… which is in 2013 … I wanted to wait until I finished my Undergraduate schooling, so it will be the summer after I graduate. I am getting cold feet already! Ive always been daddy’s little girl and I’m scared once I get married and he gives me away I wont be anymore. I love my FI with all my heart and cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him, but I’m scared i’ll be losing my family for him. My family loves him and he loves them as well and I know I will eb able to visit whenever and I will live close to home but I’m scared. Any other Bee’s feel the same? It’s almost a bittersweet situation
Post # 3
Oh sweetie! You will not be losing your family, you will just be adding to it and creating your own little family unit!
Post # 4
I think that you should watch the movie “Father of the Bride.” The version with Steve Martin. It deals with the feelings that you are having. Also it sounds like the fears you are having stem from growing up. We all have to eventually grow up, move out and be self-reliant adults. Getting married younger pushes or should push you out of the door quicker but you will still have your family. Getting married involves so many emotions. It’s normal and good that you have them. You also might want to take advantage of seeing a therapist at some point during your long engagement. I did while I was engaged and it was GREAT! She listened to everything I said and didn’t judge me but she did give me tips on how to handle certain things. I just felt like I had someone who I could talk to without without worrying that they’d tell someone else.
Post # 5
This is a totally normal feeling! I totally recommend reading “The Conscious Bride”. I just finished it today, and it discusses all of the “dark” feelings no one really talks about regarding the journey to becoming a wife. There is a whole section that deals grieving the changes in the relationships with your parents.
Good luck! This is not an emotionally easy time for the bride-to-be, even though we’re led to believe we’re supposed to be blissfully happy all the time.
Post # 6
I felt this way when I graduated high school and went away to college. Do you live with your parents?
I agree that it sounds like your fears stem from growing up, rather than getting married to your fiance. Your relationship with your parents will change as you grow. It is sometimes hard to figure out how to have an adult relationship with a parent. Things will be different, but it can be a positive thing!
If you do live with your parents, I would suggest moving out and spending some time on your own or with roommates before getting married and/or moving in with your FH. I think it is important to have your independence and your own identity and sense of self before you get married…. try not to go from being “daughter” to “wife” with nothing inbetween.
Post # 7
Thank you all do very much, it does help me a lot to hear all of this. I ‘m still in college and live at home with my parents because the university is right down the road from my house. My FI is not in college and very independent so we come from two separate places when it comes to these feelings. Thank you Bee’s !
Post # 8
Regardless of what age you get, you will always be your parents’ little girl.
And…you won’t be losing your family. Getting married doesn’t mean trading your family for your husband. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You are adding to your family, not taking away from it.
Post # 9
Totally second the PP who suggested “The Conscious Bride”. She dedicates an entire section on leaving your ‘family of origin’, a.k.a your parents, to begin a family of your own. Even though this time is really exciting for you and you’re gaining a spouse, you’re also dealing with the loss of something in essence – the family that you’ve known your entire life. Your feelings are so, so normal. Check out the website too – ConsciousWeddings.com and Conscious-Transitions.com.