Post # 1
i have been looking forward to getting my invitations ready to send out for weeks, they have finally turned up and now for some bizarre reason im terrified to send them out.
it just makes everything so much more real, i don’t know why i’m freaking out but i think it has something to do with one of my best friends, a couple of weeks ago Fiance and i attended her going away party as she is leaving england for 2 years to travel around thailand, australia and then canada. before we left the party i went to say my good byes and she apoligised that she wouldnt be at my wedding AND then she said this, ” i can’t believe your going to be married at 22 are you sure it’s what you want to do? i mean you havent done much in life and you’re going to JUST be married and a mummy.” i laughed it off hug her goodbye then sat in the car fighting tears.
what she said should not have affected me like but now i find myself sat looking at the stacks of invitations wondering if im doing the right thing. has anyone else had these moments of doubt about getting wed.
Post # 3
maybe think of it this way, you still have tons of time to go adventuring. there is no law saying that now that you are married you MUST start reproducing and you MUST stay at home and learn to knit or something. You just now have a partner to do all your adventuring with! It isn’t for everyone, but don’t let her off-the-cuff comments get in your head too much.
Post # 4
@WoodenShoes: I couldn’t agree more. There is something great about modern day brides: we are still able to be ourselves. If you want to go out and explore the world, you can! If you want to stay at home and have babies, you can do that, too. Don’t let anybody talk you out of who you love and who you know you’ll be with forever. If you feel it is right in your heart, then it IS right. Of course it’s a huge commitment and every bride may second guess her decision. But if your Fiance is who you picture sitting next to in your rocking chairs on the front porch as your grandkids run around in the yard, then by all means send those invites out and get pumped for your big day!!!
Post # 5
I am gonna echo the PPs, here. I don’t think being married means your life is over!! I can see how kids would tie you down, but you don’t have to have them immediately. You are only 22, so why can’t your Fiance and yourself go traveling and do the things you want together? Who says that being married means you’re stuck? Wait on the kids, if you are unsure, but don’t think the marriage will stop you and your Fiance from experiencing what life has to offer. It’s a new chapter!
Post # 6
agreed! your chaging your last name, hes not locking you up in some prison somewhere. travel together, if thats whats important to you. maintain your relationships with friends. be together but still live your life. getting married is not a death sentence. its a step in life that some people take before others. everybodys lifes journey is different and no one should fault you for choosing your own way. enjoy eachother and dont let people make you feel bad for following your heart.
Post # 7
Well, clearly, once you’re married, you’re never allowed to do anything fun, ever again. No travelling for you, missy! They’re gonna take one look at that ring and deny you entrance to any country. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t stamp your passport. You’re married.”
And parents, well, they have no fun at all. They can’t take their kids anywhere fun or interesting. Or get babysitters and go have fun without the kids.
Do not let this friend get under your skin like that. Do you want to marry this man? Marry him. Have a fun, interesting, adventurous life with him! You’re allowed to do things alone, too. Example: one of my best friends won’t be at my wedding because she’ll be at a poet’s colony on an island in Greece all summer. Her husband is coming to the wedding, though. My parents left my brother and me in the care of their parents when we were tiny so they could go to Hawaii for a week. When I was 10, our whole family went to England. My parents have been to Europe, Asia, and South America (all since getting married and having children). They’ve been to all 50 states. They live adventurous lives. I live an adventurous life, and that will not come to a screeching halt on June 24, 2012.
I think your friend thinks that you have to be young and single to have fun. I do hope she won’t put off marrying someone wonderful because she thinks that fun ends when that happens. How sad for her.
Send out those invites.
Post # 8
marry this man if you feel in your heart he is right for you. You can always have loads of adventures with him, but the right person is oh so hard to come by..(loads of single friends trying oh so hard to find love..but it is difficult..it took me 10 yrs of dating to find my FI).
And by the way, I’m going backpacking with my friends in Turkey next year WITHOUT my Fiance. You can STILL have adventures!
You don’t have to have kids immediately..you’re still 22…loads of time for the bio clock to strike =)
Post # 9
I think that people say things they don’t really mean, and they don’t think that will get us emotional. I guess some people view marriage as an “end of your life”. It’s really a new beginning! I know for me, my Fiance is the person that I spend the most time with, and the person that I have the most fun with. After we are married- I don’t expect that to change. Some people have fears of committing to one person for the rest of their life, so they cast their fears upon others.