Post # 1
Some of you may have read my blog about him watching a lot more porn that usual but I’m starting to realize it’s more than that. He has switched his sleeping schedual so he’s up all night and in bed all day, when I ask him to help with wedding stuff he ignores me or says he can do it later, and he’s always getting upset when I tell him how I feel about it. Do you think he is regretting sticking around and asking me to marry him? Or is it just nerves a few months out? I’ve been so upset about it all that I was tempted to just call it off and leave because I think he might be happier if I did. I wish he would show me that he really does want us married but I’m starting to fear that maybe he really doesn’t.
Post # 3
This is a really big issue I don’t think we can analyze for you. You should definitely talk to your FI about it and maybe ask him point blank if he still wants to marry you. Obviously what he’s doing/not donig is making you upset, so it’s not a good idea to continue on towards marriage if this is how things will remain.
Post # 4
It could be depression, honestly. I think you should try and analyze this from a standpoint that doesn’t necessarily involve the wedding. It doesn’t sound like you guys are communicating about this, and I think that’s a huge deal – counseling needs to happen! And some really frank/loving discussions!
Post # 5
this is for every person on here that has voted and hasn’t written an explanation…
it really is difficult to judge this situation, but from the very basic surface, it seems like something that will cause you more harm and resentment than good. 🙁
i’m sorry and i wish you all the best.
Post # 6
I agree. You need to sit down and talk to him. I saw you said you just had a child (and you’re fairly young according to your profile), its possible he freaked out and asked you to marry him cause he got you pregnant (espeically the way you suggest hes could be regretting ‘sticking around’)… and now he’s freaking out form this major life change thats becoming more and more real as the wedding planning picks up? He may just be nervous, but is trying to wrap his head around these changes and deal with it if it came sooner than he had planned and expected. Talk it out with him. Maybe he can be calmed and man up to these chances, or may he just can’t handle all this, in which case, it would not be the best situation to be in for you or your child. good luck!
Post # 7
@bride21: I don’t think any of us can answer this for you. I think you should talk to him. Maybe you need to get into couples therapy ASAP before the wedding date.
Post # 8
I agree with the other Bees that you need to talk to him and figure out what’s going on. Without any of us knowing the complete situation (as only you and your FI do) it’s impossible for us to know what’s going on. There’s a chance he doesn’t even know what’s going on subconsiously. That’s why you two need to have a real heart to heart and lay all your cards on the table and get to the bottom of it.
Post # 9
@pinkshoes: You are right about us being young. I just turned 21 and he’s 22. I told him when I found out I was pregnant that I didn’t want us to get married because of it. I knew his family would expect it and I specifically told him that if that was the only reason to ask me to marry him then no. He said he loves me and wants to be with me and raise our son together so we started planning.
Post # 10
I didn’t vote since I agree that this isn’t a voting thing. You definitely need to have a very straightforward conversation and I highly recommend couseling to help you do that. From what you’ve said, you may want to take marriage off the table for a little while to focus on the relationship.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for your replies. I am going to try and talk to him about it tonight if he doesn’t ignore me again. I don’t think I can go on living this way. If I need to I may have to just take the baby and leave because what it’s doing to me isn’t good on our son either.
Post # 12
I had been thinking about you and I hope you talked to your SO. I hope the best for you and your son.