- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
I dated my FI for only 9 months before he proposed. At that time, we were happy and I felt that he was the love of my life. Fast forward 6 months later after the engagement, I have serious doubt about this and wonder if the marriage will last.
I know it is horrible to say these things when my wedding is only 4 months away. Since I moved in with him, I realize I did not know him well enough. He gets frustrated very easily. For example: my car broke, he got frustrated. He can not open up something, he got frustrated. We went house hunting together (we want to buy an income property), and we disagree about whether it is worth the investment, he got mad because my opinion is different. He made a comment “if you don’t buy it, I will” It makes me sad because to him, there is no “our house”. He is still thinking “Mine” and “Yours”.
Mind you, we already married “by law” and just waiting for the ceremony and reception. It does not make sense that he made such a comment. Right now we do not have our joint bank account although he keeps saying that we will have one after the wedding.
With his reaction to problems and issues, I feel like I don’t even want to tell him if there is something happening to me.
Lately, I feel unhappy with him. May be the honey moon phase is over and I am being unrealistic about marriage life. However, I really hate it once we get home from work, he will turn the TV on and watch it until he goes to bed. If I join him, great. If not, he will watch TV by himself or play game. And once it is bed time, he gets into bed and plays on his phone until we turn the light off. He only cuddles when I ask him to. Our intimacy level is very low. I have never felt so unattractive and unsexy like this in my life. He always blames he is tired and wants to sleep. But come on, we both work in a relaxing office environment, how tired can that be? He is only 29 and I am 26. I figure this only get worse as we age. I guess it is just him, not me, because my ex and I had great chemistry. I feel really depressed right now because we only make love 1-2 times per week. That is terribly low number considering our age group.
Besides physical issue, I don’t feel like we are on the same emotional level either. There are certain things about my family that I don’t want to open up with him because I am afraid of being criticized.
Overall, my FI is a nice person. It’s just that I don’t know how to handle his frustration level. I realize I start to withdraw from him. My sister told me to build my own social life and not making him my only source of happiness. May be I should go out without him more often and make new friends. I don’t know. The wedding is 4 months away and I have major doubt. I already think about divorce shortly after if this is not working out. I am so effed up at this point.
Does any bees experienced cold feet or in similar situation? I am sorry for my poor written post.