(Closed) Cold feet or wrong man?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It sounds like cold feet to me, unless there are deep underlying issues like lying, cheating, sexual incompatibility, general unhappiness, etc. It’s normal to have on and off feelings of cold feet and nervousness as your wedding gets closer. It’s a big, life-changing event!

Post # 4
Member
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@remainanonymous:  i am really sorry you are feeling this way :((  Depending on your “deep thoughts” if you like feel you are not connecting with him on that “forever” than it could be more than cold feet but the sounds of what you have describe just seem like cold feet .  Hang in there and if its more than cold feet i’m sure you and only you will know if it is.  Just listen to yourself (head & heart & gut)  what are they saying? :/

Post # 6
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

my mom always said “Doubts are normal and healthy. It’s only a red flag if you have no doubts.” I’ve had a hard time understanding this over the years but I think the point is that doubts mean you are aware of the magnitude of your decision and are stepping into it in all consciousness.. What’s bad is when people make decisions on the fly without thinking about all the pros and cons: that usually leads to a bad hangover.

Post # 7
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mousewife-in-training:  +1

I think this is normal. I go through this sometimes too when I think about the future. I am an anxious person who overanalyzes everything to death, though… and I have a tough time making decisions, so for me at least I think it’s normal!

Post # 8
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mousewife-in-training:  I think this is a great explanation

 

Marriage is a huge decision and I think it’s normal and healthy to have feelings of not being sure. Only you can know if it’s something deeper than just cold feet, but otherwise try not to let it freak you out. It just means you take your marriage seriously, which is a good thing.

Post # 9
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@remainanonymous:  In what ways do you feel you may possibly be “settling?”  In what ways do you question if he’s your best friend?

Depending on the answers to those questions will be the difference between normal cold feet or him being the wrong man.

Post # 10
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

The only thing you said that’s concerning to me is “I…question myself as to whether i’m marrying my best friend.”  It should be pretty clear whether or not your fiance is also your best friend.

MY fiance is my best friend.  We talk about anything and everything.  We keep no secrets from each other.  There is no one that I trust more.  There is no one that I would rather spend time with.  He is the most important thing in the world to me.

Can you say those things about your fiance?  If so, then he is your best friend.  If so, then you can at least stop stressing about that.  It sounds like cold feet to me.

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