- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Well, FI is asleep, but I am awake. I found him earlier tonight just sitting in the bedroom staring at the wall. He told me that it will be a little expensive to cancel everything, but that he doesn’t want to go through with the wedding if I am having cold feet. I was devastated, but couldn’t finish the conversation as I had to deal with my children. When I finally had time to talk, he was asleep.
I don’t think I am having cold feet. I love him very much and want to get married. However, the past few weeks have been a little nuts with events that have a profound effect on both our travel and wedding plans (destination wedding).
In the midst of it all I have been saying that we should have planned the wedding a year later, that the timing of this wedding, with everything else that is happening, is just not okay and that I can’t see overcoming the challenges with this short of notice. He has obviously interpreted this to mean that I am having “second thoughts”…which is not true.
He says that there will always be something happening and that these things should not prevent a wedding. But bees, I think there are some things that can significantly prevent a full blown wedding and the plans surrounding it. Then again, maybe I am just a little overwhelmed right now. Then again, maybe this is cold feet and I’m just too dense to recognize it. I could use some feedback and opinions on this one.
Here’s a little summary of what has happened in the last few weeks:
1. His disabled step-son, who we haven’t seen or talked to for over a year and a half was kicked out of his mother’s home. We were able to challenge the lies he had been fed and we are now in the midst of preparing a room for him in our home. He wants to travel with us to go to the wedding, however we are travelling by car and have no room for him in the various places we have booked and/or at the place where we are having the reception and staying overnight.
2.His daughter, who we haven’t seen or talked to for over a year and a half, still refuses to communicate because of the lies she has been fed and the lawyers/judges state that she is old enough to make her own decisions. We are hoping that maybe she will talk to her brother, realize that she has been lied to, and also “come home”. If that were to happen, then we have no idea how we would get all six of us to our “destination wedding”.
3. His brother, where we are having our reception, has just found out that he lost his job.
4. His niece, who is due to deliver a baby any day now, lives with his brother…who was just laid off.
5. My mother’s health has deteriorated. Last week I needed to call an ambulance for her. She is on some crazy messed up pain meds, is mixing them up and inadvertently overdosing.
6. While at the doctor with my son (who became extremely ill last week) I mentioned a lump I had noticed in my pelvic region and found myself having emergency surgery two days later. I have to have another scheduled surgery in May now.
We have a two week trip planned, by car, with our wedding in the middle of it, and our rooms booked already (for family of 4…not 6). My save the dates are out, but not the invitations. Please offer your opinions.