Post # 1
I’m a regular bee going anon because FI is extremely embarassed, even though cold sores are very common……he’d be upset if I posted under my normal account b/c I’ve posted pics of us on there.
Anyways….last week FI thought he was getting a pimple on his lip, then on friday he came home in tears because he thought it was a cold sore. We went to the doctor, and he confirmed it was a cold sore. He’s never had one before, and I’ve never had one before.
The doctor said no oral sex when he had it (ofcourse), but said it was ok to do it when the sore heals. I’ve been googling stuff about it and read a mix of responses.
Is it okay to have oral sex if he doesn’t have a cold sore? I wouldn’t want to get herpes down there…..
Post # 2
Post # 3
anonyy: DH has always gotten cold sores since he was a kid, usually a few times a year. He’s good at catching them and applying Abreva right away to keep it under wraps but we just avoid oral sex if he’s having an open outbreak. Other than that, we do it plenty and haven’t had any issues.
Post # 4
It’s unlikely to spread if he has no sore, but there is alwasy a risk. Espeically because it can be hard to tell when a sore is coming on.
I have gotten cold sores ever since I was a kid (I guess they run in my family) but have managed not to spread it. I actually get them pretty aggressively (I guess I have a shitty immune system?) so I prgressed from taking a supressive drug (brand name Valtrex, generic valcyclovir) when I felt an outbeak coming on to now just taking a smaller dose daily to prevent. It works really well.
Locially, if you plan to continue kissing one another, that’s pretty much the same thing. Just be careful and make sure he knows not to be embarassed about telling you when he thinks he “might” be getting a sore and you should avoid kissing. If my DH goes to kiss me and I turn my head so that he kisses my cheek, he knows what’s up without me even saying anything. I tend to be paranoid so will often do this and it was nothing, but better safe than sorry.
Also, obviously during an outbreak be diligent about washing hands, towels, pillow cases and sheets, not touching the sore, not double dipping in chapstick, sharing utensils and cups, etc. I’m obsessive about not sharing towels or pillow cases and all ways throw out my toothbrush after an outbreak.
Post # 5
Oh tell him there is no need to weep for goodness sake, most people carry the virus by the time they reach adulthood. Some get cold sores some don’t. Generally all you can finis simply avoid oral sex when henna some or feels one coming on. It’s not fool proof, as the virus can shed without a sore or symptoms but the type of herpes that causes cold sores sheds seldom and infrequently without symptoms. One thig that could help is if you both got a titer for herpes it will tell you if you alrrady carry the virus. If by chance you do and just have never had a cold sore than too can rest easy that you aren’t susceptible to getting the virus because you already have it! At the same time you are very unlikely to get it in other areas of your body. If you don’t carry the virus then you guys just nees to be extra careful When he has symptoms. You can’t spend too much time worrying about these things…it’s a virus nearly everyone has, it’s a rash, not the devil.
Post # 6
anonyy: If there is no cold sore you are fine. 90% of the population will have a cold sore at least once in their life, for 10% it will reoccur. Nothing to be embarrassed about, some people are more prone than others. You can get a cold sore from sharing a glass. He may never get one again or he may not get one for another year. On occassion I get cold sores( had them since I was like 6 years old) but it doesn’t happen very often and mine aren’t even really noticable visably. If I get one it is usally because I have had a lack of sleep and I’m stressed.