Post # 1
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I have four bridesmaids: my sister, FI’s sister, and two friends. We got engaged in the beginning of April, and since then I have sent my bridesmaids messages about dresses, etc twice. The first time, I got responses from 3/4 girls (the fourth was my sister, with whom I had already discussed that particular dress). This week, I found a new dress that I think would work better (offer more support for the larger-chested gals), So I sent everyone a group Facebook message about it as I did before, asking for thoughts and opinions. Nobody replied. I realize they might be busy, but how long does it take to say which one you like better? And then today, I sent them (individual) text messages that I would be in town (I live 2.5 hours from them- this is recent) and that I wanted to get together for a lunch or dinner so they could all meet one another any day from x-xx. Nobody replied. Finally, four hours later, FI’s sister replied with her availability.
Am I being too sensitive? I just feel like if one of my best friends (or sister/SIL) asked me to be a bridesmaid, I would at least give my opinion about attire, etc. It has been 8 hours since I asked about availability on certain dates (less than two weeks from now).
How long does it take to say, “I’m not sure yet, I’ll let you know in a few days”? As a side note, I keep up with these girls individually on a regular basis.
Post # 3
@gingerkitten: I wouldn’t get upset yet. If someone asked me if I was available I’d probably talk to DH and check my schedule before responding.
Post # 4
8 hours? I can easily be busy enough to go for 8 hours without checking my phone. If you needed a quick reply, then I really think you should have called them, rather than texting.
I’m not sure when you sent the FB message, but again, not everyone checks their FB messages every day. Pick up the phone and give them a call.
ETA: I’m sure it’s not that they don’t care, just that they’re busy. They agreed to be your bridesmaids, so clearly you’re important to them 🙂
Post # 5
Telephones are pretty much the fastest way to get somebody’s attention.
Post # 6
Straight up my first thoughts that the group fb message and texts are non urgent and impersonal. I’d personally rather be called.
Post # 7
Your wedding is not until April 2014 so maybe they feel it’s too soon or early to discuss. I was also a bridesmaid and we started discussing and shopping bridesmaids dresses until about 5 to 6 months before wedding.
Post # 8
Yeah, I think you are being oversensitive. You are complaining about how quickly they are responding, and yet they have committed themselves to a destination wedding in Italy. Believe me, they care. I don’t think you are being fair to your bridesmaids at all.
Post # 9
I think you should actually call them. I found tha this worked the best.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
People in general just do not respond to “informational” emails. It’s so frustrating. Your BMs probably didn’t read your email and didn’t bother to respond. However I don’t care what anyone says, not responding to any form of communication, even if it’s a text, is rude especially since they agreed to be part of your wedding and they need to make decisions. Sorry, girl, they’re kind of being turds.
Post # 11
To use the term ‘finally’ to describe a response in 4 hours, pretty much describes how you’re judging their response times. Be patient! And if you need a faster response, call.
Post # 12
They probably *don’t* care. Nor should they. They don’t want to gush about dress choices with you until they actually need to buy them. I go for days without checking my text messages. And if I saw a chipper group message on FB about dresses for a wedding in 2014, I wouldn’t respond crazy fast either.
Post # 14
Total overreaction. Some days I dont’t respond to calls or texts for 24 hours or more. Unless its an emergency. Relax.
Post # 15
My service at work is horrible & sometimes I don’t get a text until four hours later. FI doesn’t respond for several hours while he’s working. Relax!
Post # 16
Wow, a facebook group message? Ummm no thanks. If you actually call, you might get more attention. I think you’re also expecting immediate attention when it’s not really warranted. Relax and pick up the phone.