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Wow. Your sister needs to relax. No one will notice or care that the favors do not match your invitations do not match your bridesmaids dresses do not match your toenail polish... ;)
The only time things should at least coordinate is if they're going to be right next to each other for people to stare at all night. As in, on the same table, within a few feet of each other. For more than an hour at a time. So, your napkins probably shouldn't be lime green if your centerpieces are purple and pink (unless you're going for that look!). But it won't matter if your cake servers don't match your bouquet, or if your guestbook doesn't match your menus.
Relax! Whatever makes you and FI happy will be fine. People will remember your happiness far longer than they'll remember what color your favor boxes were. ;)
I'm planning on writing about this soon, actually. This Sunday my older sister got married. She is one of those uber organized, super neat, anal retentive, perfectionist type people. Makes for quite the bridezilla, right? Um, nope. In fact, she was incredibly laid back about the whole thing. Did the guys' ties match the girls' dresses? Nope. Did the invites match, well, anything? Nope (they were white, so maybe they matched everything?) There was no theme, nothing matchy matchy, and they didn't even choose an accent color until July, an hour before they met with
the florist. And, it was the most beautiful wedding I'd ever been to. (Ok, I am biased, but still, so many people said the same thing!)
I think sometimes when we spend too much time looking at knot bios or reading wedding blogs we start to think a theme is absolutely necessary. I say, if you are content to be themeless, go for it! Make the marriage your "theme" for the day, not some meaningless pattern or color scheme. Also, make sure to let your MOH know that she had a beautiful wedding but now its YOUR turn. Good luck!
dude, if you're perfectly happy with your choices, don't let anyone else make you feel any different. the peas in a pod are adorable and so what if they're not dark rose in color? and hey if you really wanna make it "work", just say your colors are now pink and green! that color combo is very complementary without looking matchy matchy. in fact, i think it looks more interesting than pink on pink on pink!
i don't think everything has to be all matchy matchy either.
but i went to a wedding this past weekend where nothing matched. and it looked pretty bad :/ i think the bride was really laid back and didn't mind how anything was done. her bouquet was red and white, bm dresses light purple and had red bouquets, alter centerpieces and table centerpieces were every color and flower under the rainbow (i'm kind of thinking the florist just used any leftover flower and stuck it all in..it was pretty tacky), pew flowers were magenta pink roses...i could keep going on and on..
but anyway..the point is as long as it's not an eyesore of colors, do whatever makes you happy. not everyone is into the whole matching everything like crazy from stationary to flowers to dresses to guestbooks, etc. i'm realizing this myself because i've been doing the whole matchy matchy thing and now my fiance is calling our wedding "the great big purple monster"~!!
Thanks girls, I truly appreciate the suuport and insight! Sometimes it's hard not to be on the defensive when someone critizes your ideas, but I'm glad to know I can count on all of you to be fair and objective in the matter! I'm feeling better already!
Yah, as long as the colors/styles all put together won't make anyone's eyes bleed, and it makes you and your FI happy, go with it.
"What's your theme?" was probably the 2nd most irritating question after "So are you nervous/stressed?" Argh! My convenient "excuse" was, "No, we don't have a theme. We're just going with a general color palette inspired by my dress, thanks for asking...NOT!" OK, not that last part, but you get the idea. "Palette" and "inspired" often makes people think you're all sophist and artsy, when you really just mean, "get off my case, it all matches, all right?!" 
I think green & pink make a great colour combo and if everything else is pink, cool. It would work perfectly if you just bring in a bit of greenery in the flowers and voila! Green & pink wedding, everything matches well enough.
The invite does not have to match any of the paper products at your wedding because they are not AT the wedding. They should set the correct tone though (i.e. they shouldn't look uber-formal if you're throwing a casual BBQ reception, for example.) but other than that, don't need to match.
I don't think you need a theme, but it might be possible to do things the way you want and make your sister think you have a theme by telling her something vague. Not to be deceptive or anything, but it might help keep the peace. For example, your colour scheme can BE your theme. (Pink, or pink & green works fine as a "theme"). Or you can be inspired by the atmosphere and say it's a garden wedding theme or it's a modern theme (for example). That isn't getting too theme-y or matchy-matchy because it's vague, but it might allay her concerns and give you a bit of direction without making extra work for you.
I'm not matching my stuff. I think it gets to be a little over the top when everything matches too much. I am going with a candy theme and our invitations are actually going to be chocolate bars with the golden ticket in it (just like Willy Wonka!). Nothing else will be gold at our wedding. The candy buffet is rainbow and so are our flowers - so that matches just by being rainbow!
Tell your sister your theme is "ecclectic!" ;)
Just think to yourself that your sister is not the wedding expert, and don't be afraid to (nicely) tell her your ideas and your side. My sister was insistent that I have the same number of groomsmen and maids, but I told her that they don't have to walk down arm in arm! And she said "hmm.. that's true."
I also find the term, "That's nice, but what I prefer is..." always works with people who try to tell you how things should be. It's very Dr. Phil, and it works! Everyone has a different idea in mind for their wedding and if you want to match everything GO FOR IT! If not, who cares, it's a day for you and your groom. 
I think your theme should be "eclectic" or not mis-but-totally-matches! Your sis is probably just trying to help, but it's a day to celebrate you and your FI. Do it how you want! :)
Oh, honey, NONE of my greens matched! I promise you, no one will notice or care. Have you mentioned to your MOH how she is making you feel? She's your sister, so I'm sure you can let her know.
wow. that's the silliest thing to get up in your face about! IF you're happy with it, then who cares? it's YOUR wedding, not your MOH's.
I knew a bride who waited until her bridesmaids dress swatches arrived until printing invites so they would match perfectly - but seriously, who will bring the invite to the wedding and go "hm, the dress and the invites are a couple shades off" - such a silly thing to fret over!
My MOH is truly trying to help, but I guess her approach may be a bit blunt for my taste. My FI is very laid back about the whole thing and really I'd rather not stress him out over the details. Afterall, his general response to things is , "whatever you want, honey!" It's tough trying to do everything by yourself and it gets a bit overwhelming at times, which is probably why colors and themes are the last thing on my mind. I still haven't found BM dresses, haven't found my florist, haven't found "the look" for the guys....so many things to do and so little time. Yep, that's why I think I'm stressing. But anyways, thanks so much for all your input, it truly helps! It's like having a cup of warm soup when it's 30 degrees below outside good! Thanks girls! =P
most people won't remember what the invite looks like bc even if they do bring it with them to the wedding, they'll leave it in their car/hotel, not be whipping it out of their pocket to examine your linens... at least i hope not
It's your wedding, you can do whatever makes you happy. And sometimes people just need to be told to chill out. There are bigger issues out there than if your napkins match your invitation which matches the colors in your flowers, etc. But I agree with you not wanting to have a theme. I can't be bothered with it. I am just trying to stay within a few colors.
Oh and if you need some websites for BM dresses, let me know, I have a bunch saved. That's how I found the dress my girls are wearing and then helped guide me to the colors I will be using.
For a second there, I was beginning to think I was being a bit to nonchalant about the whole color & theme thing, but thanks for letting me know I'm not crazy! (Or I could be and am in complete denial! =P)
Correneh-
Oh, oh, oh. BM dresses! Yes yes yes! Please do tell! You can email me at tyeung612@yahoo.com Thanks a bunch!
Oh happy day!
do what you want...just make sure if you go 'non-matchy' that you either a) still keep photos in mind (things in an area go together as above) or b) you really are so laid back you won't care about photos being a certain way
My wedding didn't really have a 'theme' but more of a 'vibe', hehe
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My MOH, also my sister (whom I love dearly) is giving me a hard time about everything having to match. The first things I got when I got engaged were my wedding favors. They were too cute and I couldn't resist. They are the 2 Peas in a Pod Salt and Pepper Shakers. Well, they come in an ivy printed white box and a white ribbon. The invites that I recently ordered are a rosy dark pink color. My MOH is telling me that I should rewrap all the pods to match my invites otherwise it will look funny. To be completely honest, I don't think anyone will notice, afterall who will take out the invite at the table and say "Aha! The favors don't match the invitations! The bride did a bad job!" In addition, she's telling me that I have to have a theme. I really don't. We're having a small wedding of about 150 of our closest friends and family and I don't really think any of them are going to notice that there's no theme. I originally went with Burgandy as the "safe" color for the girls, but now I think I may have changed my mind to a more dark rose color. I haven't said anything to her yet because I'm afraid of what else she's going to say about my wedding. Help!
As a side note, when my MOH got married her colors were pink and white. She had pink and white roses/candles all over the tables, her invites were red, our dresses as Bridesmaids were pink. So I know she carefully planned out all the details, but I feel like she's making me feel like a bad bride for not being as detail oriented as she was for her own wedding. This makes me sad.