Combine shower and wedding thank-you's?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

emviamama:  Short answer? No. Many of those people likely shopped for two gifts for you and didn’t find it too much of a bother.

Sit down with your list and write cards while you are watching TV etc. It never takes as long as you think. You could have written one while posting this thread.

Start with the shower cards first as they are the ones most overdue.

 

Post # 3
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No.  Write thank yous for each event.

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldn’t. Our wedding was also 6/7 and we sent out all the thank yous the day after the shower and the wedding thank yous for 300 guests within a month and I felt pretty bad about that. It really doesn’t take that long, especially if you’re wedding isn’t that big. I wrote them all, FI addressed them all and we knocked it out in one afternoon. Just make time to do it. 

Post # 5
Member
3552 posts
Sugar bee

Depending on how long it’s been time is a factor as well.  If it’s been a month – I would be a little offended you couldn’t have taken the time to at least write something.  But if it’s been a couple of weeks I may give you a little more time, but seriously, write each and every thank you note for each person and what they got you

Post # 6
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think it’s been too long (many people wait for their photos back before making their thank you cards) but I would start soon.

I think you should write seperate thank-you’s for shower and wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Unfortunately not an option. Just make a point to do a few every night and you will get through them eventually.

Post # 8
Member
1618 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t combine them. They took the time to buy two gifts and attend two events, the least you could do is write two thank you notes. It doesn’t take nearly as long as you think. 

Post # 10
Member
6017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t really see the problem with sending one thank you card as long as you clearly say thank you for each individual gift. Honestly, if I got 2 thank you cards at the same time I would wonder why you didn’t just write one big one thanking me for each gift. I would think you wasted your time and money on 2 cards.

Post # 11
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

emviamama:  I don’t expect that people who may have taken their own vacation time (or used what little weekend downtime they have) to attend or prepare for your wedding will be particularly moved by the fact that your honeymoon prevented you from writing thank-you notes.

Everyone is busy and guests really don’t like to hear that excuse (Did you deposit any checks and start using any gifts right away?  Probably!) because it belittles their own experience of being busy (and they weren’t busy being celebrated and given gifts).  All you can do now is write and send the notes as soon as possible, as you are not obscenely late with the notes for your wedding at least.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, I guess), so many people don’t even send notes these days that people will generally overlook some tardiness to get a note at all!

Post # 12
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Nope. Send out Thank You cards for the shower ASAP

Then immediatly start on Thank You cards for the wedding

Your guests bought you 2 gifts, spent 2 weekends celebrating you, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you send them 2 cards and acknowlege the different gifts/events. Start writing them when you get home everynight and have your husband help with the wedding cards.

I know I’ve been waiting on a Thank You note from a wedding for awhile and I’m at the point of annoyance that I gave a generous gift and it’s yet to be acknowledged. Everyone has stuff to do but you can do it after work or on the weekend and get it done.

Post # 13
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

1.5 week honeymoon and a holiday since you’re wedding isn’t breaking my heart for you, my dear. Your guests took the time to buy a gift and attend your event, twice.  The hardest thing is to just make a start….I’d find it more rude as a guest to get one thank you than 2 late ones.  It may seem illogical, but in some ways so does giving 2 gifts for one wedding.

p.s. at this point, only the shower ones are really late. I sent my wedding thank you’s out 3 months after because that’s how long it took to get pictures printed that I included in the cards.

Post # 14
Member
2519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

emviamama:  I think it would be best to send two separate cards-

Start working on the shower ones and have your FI start working on the wedding ones. I would send the shower ones out first, then wait a week and send out the others lol.

However I really don’t think you should be getting so much flack about the length of time for shower thank yous?? I mean get them out ASAP, but its not like its been a year. People knew you had the wedding right away too so they will be understanding

I just sent out my last 4 thank yous this week ( I wrote them in chunks, I had a huugeee shower) for my 6/21 shower

 

Post # 15
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

emviamama:  I suggest you stop making excuses to yourself, because that’s just helping you procranstinate. Your wedding was 8 weeks ago. Even counting your honeymoon, the one day holiday, your illness and your Dad’s hospitalization ( I hope he’s doing ok), we are only talking 3 weeks. That leaves 5 weeks of procrastination.

Time to buckle down to working on the shower thank-you’s.

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