Combing shower and wedding thank you's

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be offended if you received a thank you for both a wedding and shower gift in one card?
    Yes I would be offended if I only recived one thank you card : (72 votes)
    70 %
    No I would not be offended if I only received one thank you card : (31 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @AGTbee:  I think they should be separate as they are two different events… To me thank yous are the most important part of a wedding besides getting married! Haha 

    Post # 4
    5793 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Really not cool. Your guests spent money on you twice and you should thank them twice. since the cards are already late going out, you may just want to start calling people and thanking them personally.

    Post # 6
    42166 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @AGTbee:  Better late than never. If combining the thank-yous is the ONLY way you are going to get them done, I say go ahead.

    It’s not what I would do, but I think the guests from an October shower are starting to wonder where their thank-you notes are.

    Unless there were many many guests at the shower, I would dash those off first using a less formal card, then start working on the wedding thank-yous.

    ETA I just wanted to add, be prepared for the negative backlash if you do combine the notes. There are definitely guests who will think ” She managed to find the time to attend the shower, open the gifts, take them home and use them, but now she’s too busy to send a separate thank-you note?


    Post # 7
    1976 posts
    Buzzing bee

    At this point I see where julies1949 is coming from to some extent, but I would still try to send separate notes.  Consider how you would feel if all of your guests sent you a single gift meant to cover both events and expected you to be OK with this because they were really busy working and had problems finding time to choose gifts or getting to the post office or whatever.

    Post # 8
    6457 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would do separate notes (ASAP).

    Post # 9
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Sorry, but no.  Using the busy excuse is really no excuse.  Everyone is busy!  You could do all of your shower thank-you’s this weekend and put them in Monday’s mail.  Have a  marathon thank you card writing session with your husband and get your wedding thank you’s out by the following Monday.! Smile

    Post # 12
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I wouldn’t be offended but I may roll my eyes. I think it’s kind of lame. My thought is that brides have time to plan “this and that” for their fancy weddings, but tend to come up with excuses for untimely thank yous. But, it’s better than nothing!

    I do find it important to note that I have not yet had a shower or a wedding of my own so take my opinion for what it is. 

    Post # 13
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Nope. I’d still do 2 separate cards.  Start on the shower, get those done and mailed.  Then move onto the wedding.  

    Post # 14
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    What is there to be offended about? It’s still a thank you. 

    Post # 15
    3668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    In the hour since this thread was posted, you could have written ~10-15 thank you cards. Traditional etiquette would be that you would send a separate note for each gift, but if you need to condense it into one to get them written, I would do it and do it ASAP. Everybody’s busy and nobody really likes to write thank you notes, but if you have time to post on Weddingbee, you have time to write your thank you cards.

    Post # 16
    6457 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Bubbles42:  +1

    I wouldn’t be offended but I would probably roll my eyes. I don’t like the “too busy excuse.” If you did only 2 a day you would have over 120 done.

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