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It seems like the days when brides and grooms automatically combined all their money are over. Nowadays people have more options, but I'm curious if most still combine money.
I know there are articles on here explaining how to go about doing so, but I'm curious how many bees are or have already combined finances with their husbands, and how many are keeping it separate.
Bonus if you explain why you and your husband made the decision you made and/ or how it is working out so far.
We arent married yet but our money is combined. All our bills are shared, so we combined finances mostly for convenience. I was tired of writing 2 checks for the mortgage, electric, etc etc. Its so much easier to use 1 account for all those things.
We originally kept our own personal accounts as well, but even that got to be annoying. Now all our money is combined and for us its just a lot easier.
we have combined 100%. I still get online and pay "my" bills (since I know the passwords) like student loans, car, ect but all money comes out of a account both of our pays get deposited into.
We've already partly combined finances and have practiced thinking about them as one pot of money. When we're officially married, the rest of the finances will be officially combined. We both really like to know exactly what's going on with the money situation, and it's so much easier if we can just both access all the accounts. So instead of having 2 savings accounts, 2 checking accounts, and 1 credit card, we'll have 1 savings, 1 checking, 1 credit. Easier!
We have been together for almost 6 years and our Finances have been together for 5 I would say. We moved in together and do everything together, It would just be silly to have them apart. I honestly think this is a weird topic. In my opinion how do you go out with your bf(of years), FI, or hubby and have to talk about whos going to pay??... or who pays for what bill or grocerys. When you decide you want to really be with someone and get married- dosent that make you "one". Dont know what everyone elses thinking is here... I dont think we even talked about it, we just did it because it made sence and felt right.
Weve had combined finances since we were just dating. We still have our own separate bank accounts but we hardly ever use them. Our paychecks automatically go into our joint checking account and then from there we talk about our monthly budget and spend the way we want. It has worked well for us!
We combined our finances 100%. We are a team and I didn't feel comfortable any other way. Right when we got engaged DH decided that he wanted to start his own company. I supported him 100% and took over both the books for the business and assisted him with paying his personal bills. This was our mutual decision that if he wanted to start his own company now was the time to do it. I have a great job and we don't have children so I was willing to support him while he built his company. In return I plan on being a SAHM so I wanted him to succeed so that someday I can stay at home with out children when they are little. Also because of that I never wanted to have seperate finances because if I am the one home with the kids I never wanted to have to ask for money to take them somewhere or buy them something or even to do food shopping. I pay all of the bills and handle all of the money. It works for us because we both have similiar life goals and want the same things out of life so we agree on the majority of our purchases. We do discuss openly our finances and we both know how much money is in the account at all times that can be used as spending money.
We combined all of ours. We each closed out our individual checking and savings and opened new joint accounts. For things like IRAs and 401ks, we just put each other as beneficiary.
To us, it seemed too complicated to figure out who would pay for what. Because he makes more money, he paid for more, so it always felt a bit odd to me, like he was buying me things. This way, once it is in the accounts it is "ours" and neither of us think about who is paying for what.
The only time it is an issue is at Christmas or for birthdays. We both access our checking account online, so we can see any transactions the other one made. We usually shop in cash for gifts....or shop online at somewhere like Target or Amazon where the other one can't tell what was bought by the name of the store.
We may in the future each have a separate account for things like that. We'd likely have both names on the account (just in case of emergency) but not peek at the other's account. It's kind of a lite version of the three-checkbook system that works for a lot of people. We don't feel the need to each have an account of our own all the time...but at the holidays and on birthdays, it would help. We are still sorting out how we want to handle that.
We have a joint account for rent, electric, food anything else dealing with home but everything else is seperate. There is two reasons why we are doing this. 1. I am done paying school loans and I am almost done with paying off my car he is not, he pays his school loan and his car off with his money. 2. I never want to be the women who has to give their SO permission to buy something. My parents have combined finances and whenever my Dad wants to buy something like a new pair of jeans he has to ask my Mom if it is ok. My Dad doesn't like this, and I don't want to do it to my FI.
ETA- We will not be combining finances 100% after we get married.
@Jenbee: I totally agree with you. Before WB I had no idea that married people didnt combine their finances 100%. However I think a lot of people have different opinions on how a marriage should work, including finances. While it might be right for us, its not necessarily the way for everyone. I cant imagine discussing who is paying for what though!
We combined in December (getting married in July) out of convinence and I'm working as a substitute teacher part time while I finish grad school, so he supports me and the dogs (mostly). In the fall I'm going to have a full time well paying job and he'll be in school full time. We like being a team a having everything together. When we actually get married, I'm putting him on my credit card and on my large savings account.
We have all of our finances combined. However, we each have our own checking accounts. We have a portion of each of our paychecks put into our own checking accounts so that we have our own spending money. This makes sense for things like gift giving. If I bought it out of our account, he could see this for instance. Plus it allows for him to buy things like DVD's and PS3 games and I can't bitch about it.
We decided to combine our finances because DH is notorious for not paying his bills on time even if he has the money. So I handle all of our money and track all of our spending and saving.
We keep separate accounts and separate credit cards. We have a shared account that we use only for the mortgage payments.
I think it's kind of funny how some of the PP's expressed not understanding how anyone could possibilty want to keep their money separate. For us, it just made sense. I guess you could say it was the path of least resistance. We started out with separate accounts, it has caused us exactly 0 problems, and to combine accounts now would mean a lot of hassle. When we go out to eat we just try to switch off paying but we don't keep track or anything. We try to keep things even but because we are married and do consider our money shared overall, it isn't a big deal either way.
I enjoy having separate accounts because it means that neither of us has to deal with commenting on/giving permission to each other's purchases, which can add unnecessary stress (at least in our case). We are both very responsible with our money and share a similar outlook on finances. But if I saw everything he was buying I might be inclined micromanage "Did you really need to buy X??" But the truth is, he deserves to be able to buy X just as I deserve to be able to buy a new outfit when I feel like it without his permission.
I think part of why this works for us is may be because our incomes are very similar to begin with, so combining them wouldn't change how the money is distributed.
We combined 100% and then auto-transfer a monthly "allowance" (hate that word) to our own individual accounts for fun money. Since we're trying to save a lot right now, the allowance isn't that big, but it allows us to spend some money without having to tell or ask the other one. Like 95% of our money stays in the joint accounts, though!
We still have all our accounts separated, but I keep a 'master' budget sheet that takes both our income and all our spending into account so we know what 'we' have. We pay our own credit cards, but don't really distinguish between whos charging what or whos paying for what bill, mortgage, etc. We happen to divide it up so that I pay the mortgage and he pays everything else, but even though its offically separate, we view it all as ours.
We did not originally plan to combine 100%. We bought a house and moved in together a little over a year before we got married and we decided to open joint checking and savings accounts for our joint expenses (house stuff, entertainment, wedding, vacations, etc) but still keep our other accounts open. The way we did it was to sit down and figure out our budget so that we knew how much the joint stuff would cost every month and we'd each contribute half of the necessary total into the accounts at the start of every month (we made almost exactly the same amount last year). We did that for the year until we got married and planned to do it forever or at least until kids because we both liked the idea of having some autonomy with "my" money. Like we were concerned about justifying purchases to the other etc.
Fast forward a year and we found that system to be a huge pain in the ass. We just were not organized enough and didn't care enough to keep track efficiently. We kept running into problems like... I would go to target to get US some stuff for the house but then I'd also want to buy some clothes for me and a video game that DH asked me to pick up. Hm... okay so now its one bill, what card do I put it on? Am I really going ot ask him to pay me back the $40 for the game? No. So we started just buying things for each other anyways and never really paying back so we were like.... f it-- lets go joint. So now we're 100% joint but we each have 1 credit card that is not linked to our joint mint account (to be used for things like gifts we wouldn't want the other to see we purchased). Even those are still paid out of the joint account so we'd see how much the other was spending but wouldn't necessarily see where the money has been spent so it doesn't ruin any surprises.
We split all expenses down the middle and kept our accounts separate until literally the day after our wedding when we got a joint checking/savings/cc's and combined everything. It was a long time coming and such a relief to finally happen. We both hated paying each other back for things, figuring out at the end of the month who owed what, etc.
My biggest fear prior to doing this would be that I would lose all my privacy and have to cut back on things. But instead it's actually done nothing but good, I am a lot smarter about spending now and I feel really proud when I find new ways to cut back. I never feel deprived, if I want to go out and buy new clothes, I do it. But I realize in the back of my head that DH will have to cut back in order for me to do that, so that keeps me in check.
And we've discovered that we feel exactly the same way about what we want to spend our money on. Buying a home has really been an eye opener in that regard.
i voted keep some separate, as in 401ks and iras, but someone above pointed out that your spouse is the beneficiary--i forgot about that, hahaa! so yeah, we'll be totally joint once we get around to it...
we actually haven't officially combined our accounts, but have in practice, or at least, we conceptualize our spending and saving as joint. before we were engaged but we were living together, we kept track of who paid what joint expenses on a spreadsheet (like, rent, groceries, anything we did together). then we just stopped keeping track, and now we just take turns paying for things. i finally just recently changed my name on my bank accounts, and now we need to link our accounts so they can be officially joint...
About 6 months until our wedding, I quit my job. My husband (then fi) and I discussed this decision and agreed that it would be for the best, and he made enough that we wouldn't have to worry. At this time he added me to his credit card, and I still had my seperate bank accounts. If he needed any money, I would just transfer it over. After we got married, it just made more sense to combine everything. This way neither of us would ever have to ask for money. We have similar spending habbits (we're both pretty thrifty), so it's never been a problem. If someone wants to make a big purchase, we just talk about it.
We are 100% joint. We just put each other on our accounts. All the bills we pay are paid for out of one of our two joint accounts, and when we need cash, we just go to whichever bank is closer. It's never been an issue for gifts either--we just say to the other person, "oh, don't check the visa bill this month" or "don't check the amex bill this month."
For those of you who say that you don't want to go joint because you don't want to feel like you have to ask permission to buy things, I'm curious as to why you would feel that way. I never feel like I have to ask "permission" for things--if I want to buy something expensive, like a new pair of shoes, generally I know the range that I should stay within. Sometimes I'll mention it to DH because I want him to validate me and it's nice to hear, "oh go ahead honey, get whatever you want!", lol, but I don't feel like I need to hear him say it in order for me to feel comfortable spending the money.
@CorgiTales: That's also what I wanted to avoid--I don't get the concept of paying each other back when you're married. It just seems more like a roommate situation than a spouse situation.
Well, before law school ruined all of my ideals about marriage, I would have said combine as well! But now, we are going to keep a lot of things separate and have a joint account for paying bills. That way, there is a least some protection if something happens all of our money can't be taken away and we will still have something to live off of.
We have separate accounts and each pay our own car payment and student loans. We both contribute to the rent, utilities, food, household items. I have my credit cards that I pay for and he has child support that he pays. I have been on my own for so long I'm not sure I know how to share money! It works for us!
We combined everything 100% and honestly, not doing so would not have been an option for me. We are a team and I didn't feel comfortable any other way. We have 1 checking, 1 savings and everything is simple.
And no - we do not ever have to ask each other for permission to purchase anything. Combining accounts does not all of a sudden require that.
We keep vast majority separate and plan to keep that way once married. We have been living together sharing expenses for 6 years, don't see any reason to change. We make around the same, each pay half toward the mortgage, he pays the cell phone bill, I buy groceries etc. We have a shared credit card that we rarely use. It just works out. We dont keep track of it on a very detailed basis, we just seem to take turns.
clearly if we have kids, the equation will change if one is staying home or something. I am actually sort of surprised at the results! Most of my friends seem to balance things the same way as us.
I chose OTHER, because this is our plan:
All our money will go into one bank account, joint 100%. BUT, because of the way I have our budget structured, we each get a certain amount of money each month that's like "free money" to do whatever we wish with it. We will each have a seperate account which that money will go into.
I don't want to know if he bought me flowers or a present or from where, which is why we'd have the seperate accounts, and I really don't care what he spends his "free money" on, and I don't want to be able to snoop and keep track of his enjoyment spending. Vice Versa for him about my "free money".
That is our plan for when we combine finances, which we haven't done because A. I'm unsure about the details of doing that, and B. reason A makes me procrastinate.
Currently, I give him my share of rent money and car payment money and he pays most of the bills. I pay my own phone bill, insurance, etc. Eventually we'll both play a part in paying bills. I feel it's really important for both persons in a relationship to know what is going on with their money, and to know how to pay all the bills and when and whatever. Just in case something happened.
My FI dad had to go away for a few months and his mom had NOOOO idea how to pay any of their bills, which scared me.
I've also heard that it's important to have BOTH names on any and ALL accounts, because if the person who's name is solely listed, the other will not be able to change it, and they will forever get bills with the other's name on it (obviously unless it's cancelled). If I were 89 years old and my husband had passed, I would be so sad every time i got mail with his name on it and i couldn't change the account over to mine. (I've heard of this happening, which also scares me).
ALSO, and lastly, I think it's important for each person to have their own credit card in their own name so that if anything happened, one person wouldn't be left with none/bad credit.
We are combining almost all of our money. He wants to keep a small bank account for himself as his own spending money. He suggested I do the same but I said I don't care. He wants to do it this way because he says if he gets me a present or buys himself a treat he doesn't want to feel like we both paid for it. I'm sure if we both really needed those funds he would gladly give it up.
We have had 100% combined finances since even before engagement. For about 4 years now I think?
I think the reason why it works for us is we both have similar saving and spending habits. And we are a unit in every way shape or form of the word so why would we have separate money? To me, personally, it just doesn't make sense.
And neither of us really care about money that much. Honestly money does not buy happiness. Yes, it helps. But at the end of the day love & family are way more important.
Completely agree!
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I'm actually really surprised at the poll results as well. Topic posts of a similar subject on the Hive often lean towards couples liking to keep everything separate. Or having a joint just for bills and they each still have their own private spending account.
@hilsy85: Although I mentioned it in my post, if we started to combine finances, no, I don't believe we would suddenly need to ask each other permission. It's more that I'm just more comfortable this way and happier not seeing his account details! Honestly it isn't a big deal either way, just that we're really comfortable with the way we've been doing it so no reason to change.
@kouklitsa: You sound a lot like me. I think the part that hangs a lot of people up about keeping separate is that they think that implies having to keep track of everything and balance it.. it doesn't! We just try contribute equally but don't get hung up over it.
We have separate checking and savings accounts. We've been meaning to combine savings and open a checking for bills, but I refuse to just have one checking account for everything. I write down everything I spend and he doesn't. Relying on online banking just doesn't work for me. Things work find the way we have them and it doesn't make us any less married or any less of a team.
We're doing like @mwitter80: and @crayfish:. Our money will all get placed into our joint checking, with a certain amount transfered out to each of our own personal accounts. Mr.ND isn't particularly financially savvy since his dad is an accountant and has just always taken care of everything, not really letting Mr.ND take over things as he grew up. So this way we can pay our bills together from one account - he'll be learning how to manage it all and I'll be able to make sure it all gets paid on time.
Also, this way we have our own personal $, we can save up our personal money for a few months for big personal purchases and or surprise gifts, and also for some of the reasons that @jen24au: mentioned. I'm in law school so I've just seen way too many cases where this goes wrong, and have also personally seen many people divorce and someone (usually the woman in the relationship) is left high and dry and the bank account is cleared out.
Well... i wanted 100%, but my FI didn't. He wanted some of his own money to blow on things that was important to him, and didn't want to have to necessarily clear it by me. It became a long discussion, but we ended on 60% is joint. That being said, money isn't really an issue with us in terms of who pays for what or if I/he use/need money for something.
We have already party combined finances.... Not sure how it will work when we are married...
We're combining 100%. We already share a mortgage and a credit card, so it just makes sense to share accounts once we're married. Since we got engaged, it really seems silly even to talk about who is paying for what. It's all "our" money.
We partially combined two years ago when we moved in together and this is what works best for us.
We have a joint account and each of us put the same amount in each payday. This covers rent, household bills, groceries etc. We are working towards a bit of saving in there as well.
We both have our own cheq/sav accounts. From this we pay our own cells, insurance and then save or spend as we want.
For going out etc, we take turns.
We also have a joint loan that we pay set amounts on each every payday.
I love this system and it works best for us. Even with our own money if we are making a bigger purchase we usually discuss it with the other first.
Everything is both of ours. 100%. I can't imagine being a team and feeling/ having it any other way. We don't even think like that. I have worked while he has been out of work, he has worked while I recovered from surgery, he has worked while I have been in school and we both contribute in so many ways, with both of our resources.
We haven't combined our finances yet, but we will next month when FI gets back from being at sea. We plan on combining everything 100% and closing our individual accounts. We'll only check with each other on large purchases. It's going to be nice to have everything in one place and I think it will be a lot easier to manage. We both have similar spending habits and are huge savers so I don't think we will run into any issues. We are also planning on combining all our insurances and I will be adding him to my mortgage.
We've been semi-combined since we were dating. We won't be changing much of anything once we are married because...this works. We have a joint account for bills, but we each have separate accounts for personal things (like a doctor's visit, date night, personal purchases). A large portion of our pay goes to the joint account for bills and leftovers (aka our nest egg, lol). We have the same plan for savings (one joint, two separate).
Roughly 90% of our paychecks will be in a joint account...checking/savings. The other 10% we'll have our own for miscellaneous stuff. Really it's to prevent me from getting mad when he goes and plays cards with the guys or hits up the casino.
We'll have a joint account for most things but we plan to keep our personal checking accounts to each have a little bit of "me" money. Though my "me" money will like be gift money 'cause I'll want to use it to buy him presents without him knowing.
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