(Closed) Combining finances after marriage

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Should we combine all finances post marriage?
    Yes, absolutely : (109 votes)
    54 %
    No, Keep it separate : (15 votes)
    7 %
    Other: Keep money separate but have a joing savings account : (77 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2282 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Hi! Your poll got set up wonky so that the Yes is in the question!

    I’m puting “other,” though, because we’re combining everything (savings, investments) except that we’re each keeping a separate checking account.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We have the “What’s mine is yours” approach. We have 2 mortgages (own 2 properties), and it seems silly to me to split bills right down the middle. We both are in the know on what exactly happens to our money. Everything is joint, and we discuss large purchases together. There are small things here or there that we could probably cut back on that we each do to save more, but we have a set budget on what we spend on what bills, and then our savings and “play” money. It’s just a whole lot easier for us to do it this way. 

    Not to mention, my DH gets paid once/month while I get paid bi-weekly. So it works out better to take the majority of the bills from his paycheck and then use mine for savings/spending on luxury things.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2616 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    we are keeping things seperate for now. i dont want my bad credit score to hurt him so  i get a chunk of money put it in my account for the month’s grocery bills,kids supplies, my stuff and then he pays all the real bills with his account.

    Post # 6
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    For starters, you should probably adjust your poll.

    Anyway, we combined finances long before we were married but we also lived together for many years prior. I personally think that it’s important for couples to have joint finances but I respect the decisions of those who opt to keep everything separate. That just wouldn’t work for us.

    When you’re married, you’re a team and you share everything, money included. There is no his or mine, it’s all ours. We each still have our own savings accounts that the other person has the ability to access if we ever needed to but the vast majority of our money is combined. It makes everything easier that way. There’s no “you pay the phone bill and I’ll pay the cable”. Everything comes out of the same account so there’s no confusion.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4433 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I said other….

    We plan to both have seperate checking accounts for our normal funds outside of our mortgage and bills (for our personal daily expenses) and also we have a joint savings and seperate savings accounts…our joint right now is for our wedding….and our seperate savings is for house/wedding/etc….but we may change this down the line to make it easier.

    Post # 9
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @blue_eyed_bride:  Well, if you do it right there shouldn’t be any arguements. If you think that your husband will have an issue with you spending money on certain things then maybe you should pay for those things out of your own savings account and keep him out of it but have the majority of your income combined. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    We have a joint checking for our bills and then separate checking for anything we want to buy for ourselves. Money is a cause of arguments in marriages when people are not honest and open about the finances, are concealing thier spending or judging the other’s spending. It’s not so much about the combining but the communication around money. You need to talk honestly about your expectations with money, when you think you each need to consult with eachother about big purchases and what your acutal cost of living will be.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We have completely combined accounts, except for credit cards (just because it’s better for our credit scores to keep old ones open), and I think it’s working super well. We don’t have problems with each other’s spending habits, so I wasn’t worried. 

    However, if you think you’d have a problem with any of his more frivolous spending habits (and vice versa), it might be better to put most of your money together but still set aside a portion of your incomes per month into individual accounts to be spent however you want. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We have 1 joint for mutually beneficial purchases such as mortgage, light bill, groceries, meals out when we are together, travel when we are together.  We then each have separate accounts for him to use to eat out, buy CD’s, etc and I use my account to buy way too expensive shoes.

    This way there’s no concern if the bills are going to get paid yet we can go out and blow $ on “wasteful” things with neither of us feeling impacted by the other person’s expenses. 

    We each get the same “allowance” every pay period for our personal checkings.  Our breakdown is something like:

    25% to savings, 50% to checking, 12.5% to his checking and 12.5% to my checking.

    We also are on all of each other’s accounts.  I’ve definitely been out of town and needed him to move $ around.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9143 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    We’re keeping our separate checking accounts but we’ve already created a joint account which we’re currently putting money in for the wedding and honeymoon.

    Post # 14
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Well, we make the same amount of money (have the same job) and have about the same amount in savings each.  So we’re going to set up a system where we put, say, 50% of our take home pay in a joint account for household and joint expenses, then each keep separate accounts for our own things.

    Like he’s really into brewing beer and I don’t want to pay for that.  I’m into knitting and I don’t expect him to pay for that.  I like clothes shopping and I wouldn’t expect him to subsidize that. Etc.

    Post # 15
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee

    Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey? I’m a huge DR fan, huge. He’s saved my life in more ways than one! He is a big proponent of combining marital finances and thinks that if you don’t, it is a sign of problems in a marriage. As much as I love him, I disagree on this, and I’ll tell you why, but I will grant that it could be a bad sign (if for instance you don’t combine for lack of trust, or don’t combine because you hide bad things you do with your money). But if you’re interested in doing that, DO learn about him and his “system” (which is really just common sense) because he has a foolproof way of managing money.

    My SO and I live together and have for 2.5 years, and we plan on getting married. We’ve never combined our money and probably won’t because it’s just easier. We split bills, of course, but have separate checking accounts. We are both very open with what we do with our money, and we have things that we work towards together (like saving for furniture or our house and retirement).

    I’m extremely organized and detail oriented, and my SO is practically my polar opposite when it comes to money. He’s responsible, doesn’t have any credit cards, pays cash for things, ALWAYS looking for a deal, doesn’t overspend, and saves…. but he doesn’t write anything down! He never writes checks either. He’s got everything set up on auto-pay. I record each and every transaction and know nearly to the penny what is in my account at all times. He makes good money and puts everything on his debit card, and just goes online every few days to check his balance. It would drive me bonkers trying to record all transactions for the both of us… he would forget to tell me everything or give me receipts and it would just be a headache. That is the sole reason we haven’t combined.

    Dave Ramsey’s system uses a set amount of cash in envelopes that you carry around with you (envelopes for groceries, eating out, clothing, car maintainance, everything). So you have a set amount that you spend and you don’t record your transactions because it’s all cash… but I could never get my SO to use 100% cash and a mini-filing system in his wallet, LOL. Not yet, anyway. Maybe one day. I’m still working on him! We have made a ton of progress the last 6 months in getting organized and meeting financial goals, but it’s still an ongoing project.

     

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    14304 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Other, though none of these options really apply to us.  We didnt create a new joint account for common expenses.  We kept our own accounts and manage them ourselves since we were used to that, and just added each other to them and they are all linked so we can see how much we have where.  We also just started using mint to track our expenses in one central location.  We sort of divided up the reoccuring expesnese between us to come out sort of “even”, he pays mortgage and utilities, I pay all other monthly expenses and property tax.  If one of our accounts gets low though, we just tell the other we’re going to transfer some over to cover, so its separate, but all one pot.  We both agree with each other spending habits and spend well below or means though, so we never had to set up a budget and allocate spending money.

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