(Closed) Comments about long engagement (slight rant).

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Does it matter to you if someone waits more than two years to get married?
    Yes, waiting that long is pointless. : (18 votes)
    15 %
    No, get married whenever you want. : (87 votes)
    74 %
    I don't care as long as there is dancing and good food. : (9 votes)
    8 %
    Yes, if you really loved each other you wouldn't want to wait that long to get married. : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I don't care if you wait; but you're not getting a gift from me. You've been together too long. : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3364 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Opinions are like assholes…everyone has one. Take the ones you like; forget the rest. You’re going to hear it all. I got asked if my ring was more like a “Promise Ring” since our engagement was sooo long (18 months). Yet not one of these “opinionated persons” are offering/donating anything to this wedding. People just like to jab when they can, let them look like idiots. 

    Keep your head up, you’ll be happy you took your time and did it in your own timing. =)

    Post # 4
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We’ll have had an 18 month engagement, which isn’t super long but we occasionally get comments. Personally, you can be engaged 1 day or 50 years for all I care- it affects me how?? It annoys me too that everyone cares about everyone else’s business, especially in relationships.

    Post # 5
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @Lady Baker: We’ve been together over 5 years now.  It was at least 3 years before we got engaged, so the engagement has been two years.  I’ve gotten ALL of those same comments except the one about the ring.  To shut people up I say, “I have the rest of my life to be married.  What’s the rush?  All you do is complain that you wish you were my age and single again anyway.”  🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    1500 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think it just makes sense to wait as long as makes sense for the situation. I’m not sure why it matters to anyone else…it isn’t like they’re in the relationship and are getting tired of waiting ;P My engagement is going to be at least a year and a half-two and a half years, which is nice. We don’t feel pressure to get married, so we can take our time and plan things leisurely. We don’t have to rush or stress. We’ve just been throwing ideas around and deciding on budgets and stuff. We’ve been living together a year and a half, so we don’t have to get married just to enjoy being together. I’ve never understood why people make rude comments and let other people’s choices effect them when it’s so trivial! It’s like just don’t do it yourself. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Have you seen the episode of the Office where Jim announces his engagement to Pam? And the responses are things like “Weren’t you already engaged?” or “I bought a gift for Pam and Roy, do I have to buy a new one?” or “You know she’s not a virgin, right?” And they’re SO ridiculous?

    Well, that’s what I thought of when I read the comments you wrote. People are ridiculous.

    I get comments that my two-year engagement is “so long”… when really it’s NOT at all! It means I can focus completely on my last year of school THEN get into hardcore wedding planning (unless I decide to elope) but point is it gives me time to decide! 

    @missvern: I like this response!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    oh girl..I feel you. me and my fiance’ have known eachother for 10 years…why it took so long for us to decide this is it? ummm…well, there’s a few reasons that have nothing to do with how we feel about one another and are no one’s business really. We also are having a long engagement. We will be married next July, which will be a little over two years from when he proposed. We wanted to get married right away but it was actually my church who wanted us to wait and do things right, get things straight with his former marriage (my church requires former marriages to be annuled in the eyes of God). I do kinda envy the brides who had some whirlwind romance and no one questions if they lacking excitement or love for one another…but hey, I’m every bit as excited as that bride. Yes, the comments you’ve heard are bad…but here’s some that I’ve heard if it makes you feel any better:

    -Oh, your getting married next summer? I bet it’s hard to get excited since you have been together for so long.

    -I’d give him 6 more months and then I’d walk.

    -Oh, you guys are basically like an old married couple already…just go to vegas. 

    Third one probably sounds familiar! lol. Hey, I don’t regret a thing..and I doubt people mean to be hurtful when they say those things. Every relationship has it’s own dynamic. It simply wasn’t love at first sight for me and my fiance’…and there was a lot of timing issues in those 10 years…it wasn’t until we had been steady and living together for about 3 years that we realized what had grown from a friendship, a mutual respect and from years of caring for one another…was indeed…true love.

    Congradulations on your engagement/wedding.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4014 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I agree that its no ones business but the couples. I would be interested to see some comments from those who said “Yes, waiting that long is pointless”.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @misschickpea: I’m curious to hear from the person that said “If you love each other you wouldn’t wait”, lol! Probably won’t own up to it though. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion…. but telling someone they must not be in love if they wait too long? That’s just rude.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1474 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Your coworkers seem insanely rude! I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself from being rude back to some of those comments…. <3 Hang in there!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t care how long a couple is together before they marry. People have various, valid reasons for waiting.

    I find it a bit odd, though, when someone tells me they are engaged and won’t get married for another two years, maybe three.  But that is just because my definition of an engagement is that it is the time in which you actively plan a wedding.

    Post # 13
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee

    Wow… That’s just… I don’t know why people feel compelled to project their own wonky motivations and fears onto your decisions.

    The one that really gets me is the ring size commensurate with length of the relationship–just does not compute. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    How annoying. Everyone always has something to say. Maybe people should start thinking harder before they decide to speak.

    Post # 15
    Member
    6316 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I know exactly how you feel! My OH proposed at the beginning of Feb, and we’ve set the date for August 2014. Why? Because I’m still studying, and will be until 2015 🙁 (I’m approaching the end of my Masters at the moment, then commencing PhD studies by Sept 2012). Because of this, I don’t earn much, so we can’t afford to live together for a few years yet. So it makes no sense to rush into getting married.

    We’ve been together nearly 6 years now, so we haven’t rushed into engagement by any means, and while it will be a long engagement, we have set a date. I actually quite like that it’s longer, as we can plan everything at leisure; the last 7 months have flown by, so I think the next couple of years will go very quickly and it won’t seem that long.

    We have had comments and raised eyebrows though, and it is annoying. I don’t see why it’s anyone’s business in all honesty.

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