- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
This is more or less a vent than anything I guess.
We got engaged in summer 2011, and have yet to make any plans or even “set a date.” We are paying for our wedding entirely ourselves and saving is a long, slow process. It doesn’t make any sense to set a date when we don’t have the money to back that up. Hence, our engagement is open-ended at this time.
I work in an administrative position in a small, chummey office. I like all most all my co-workers from a professional standpoint and generally have no complaints about work. One of my higher-up’s just got married last weekend and then entire office attended their wedding and we all had a BLAST!
Here’s what’s eating me: From the time that this other higher-up co-worker got engaged on New Years up until the wedding last weekend, there has been a steady stream of underhanded questions and remarks that only serve to point out how I’m not getting married, or how my wedding will obviously not be as luxurious as this other wedding, or even how my wedding is subordinate… and coincidentally, only from my wealthier colleagues who are considered to be my bosses.
It’s hard to make specific examples without turning this post into a book, but I’ll try. *All of these comments I received were unprovoked and out of nowhere. I do not ever bring up the subject of my wedding at work.* Last week, one of my bosses said to me, “Maybe when Adam and Stacy are up there saying their vows, you can just pretend it’s you and [fiance].” At the wedding I was told, “Don’t worry, you’re wedding doesn’t need to be as nice as theirs. Just do something simple.” Well obviously *I* know that, I’m not trying to compete with these people, and my plans are way different anyway. But to have that pointed out to me like that felt so… mean. Today, after a few were chit-chatting about ‘Adam and Stacy’s’ wedding and what a great time it was, there was a condescending yell from across the office, “Who knows when we’ll have another office wedding again.” FYI: Not inviting my office to our wedding, but I haven’t told anyone that.
These are just the most recent examples from this week. But as I mentioned above, I’ve been getting this since early this year. I usually have pretty thick skin and rarely take things personally — especially at work. But because this has been so persistant, it has taken it’s toll on me and now it’s a trigger for a bum mood.
I don’t say anything because these are my bosses, and outside of this sore little subject I have a pretty good relationship with them. I feel that if I spoke out about it — no matter how politely I phrased it — it would make me look immature and sensitive. I never want to react emotionally to anything at work. My hope is that now that this wedding is over, the topic will simply die on it’s own.
But today is just another bad day. I’m home from work and still having trouble shaking off the comments. And I’m mad at myself for letting these people that I otherwise don’t care about get under my skin this way.