Post # 1
We are having a destination wedding where the guest list just.keeps.growing (how do you tell your parents “no” when they are paying?). As a result, we had to make the decision to have an adults only reception.
I’m sure there are those of you out there familiar with this problem. My question is, how do we communicate it?
I’m about to send out Save the Dates with our website address and I don’t want people to book family plane reservations and then only realize when they get the actual invitiation that it’s adults only. But do I really just write “(Adults Only)” after the Reception details on my website? Is there some more elegant or more subtle way to get the message across?
Thanks in advance.
Post # 3
We put it on our website, AND we most obviously did not address the invites to the kids, AND we did the whole “Two seats have been reserved in your honor” thing. People still wrote their kids in. Best of luck to you 😉
Post # 4
Just keep in mind that not everyone will look at the website. We did online RSVP through our website and with some of the questions we got, it was clear that people didn’t read through all of the info, even the pages about travel arrangements. For our at home reception, I’m sure a fair number of guests never went to the site.
Post # 5
You could just state that it is an “adults only reception”. People may assume that it is just a resort rule.
If they book for their kids also, then some hotels offer childcare that you can request on your arrival.
When you send out your invites and get RSVPs back, email or call anyone who has listed more than just the adult couple and say “Just wanted to make sure that you knew the wedding and reception were adults only” in a cheery voice, as if you’re just there to help.
Saying “no” to kids will undoubtedly offend some and some guests may not be able to attend due to not being able to line up some one to watch their kids while they’re on vacation… that said, it’s your wedding and it is common not to invite kids to weddings so people shouldn’t be shocked.
Post # 6
This is how we worded it on our website:
We look forward to celebrating with all of the special people in our lives, however, due to venue size and safety concerns, we will be hosting an adult only event. We thank you in advance for your understanding.
I would verbally spread the word though too since some people might not visit the website, or “overlook” that portion.
Post # 7
We created a page on our website entitled, “Details, Details” which lists a bunch of questions guests might ask (such as, “What time should I be there?” and “What should I wear?”). We addressed the kids issues like this:
Should We Bring the Kids?
This was a tough decision, but we’ve decided to keep the guest list to adults only. We hope you understand. The exception will be our nieces and nephews (NAMES LISTED), who have each been asked to play a special part in the day.
Invitations go out next week, so we’ll see if the message got across. 🙂
Post # 8
A friend of mine who is getting married next month put on her invitations, “We respectfully request that you leave the little ones at home.” I thought that was a nice way of wording it.
Post # 9
Not trying to steal the original posters thread, but I am struggling with the same thing, with a bit of variance!
Due to space we are not inviting cousins on my side (adult, and child) however on my FI’s side (who are coming from OOT, 17 hour drive/or flight) we are inviting some of his family with kids (Ex, one will have just had a baby in March, we can’t expect them to come but not bring their newborn!) A cousin of FI’s absolutely adores FI, like idol-like and we can’t not include him -how do we cover our butts with some coming, most (like 90%) not?
We are doing hardcopy invites, with an online RSVP.