- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
It has become increasingly clear that my MOH and I are not on the same page. I have tried to talk to her about it a few times already, but she is not understanding me. I’m hoping someone can help me think of a different way to frame it.
Basically I’m just discovering through this wedding planning process that she and I have very different ideas about money. She wants to find THE ABSOLUTE LOWEST PRICE on everything and is totally willing to sacrifice quality, engage in questionable DIY projects, and buy from super sketchy sources to acheive that goal.
I am willing to spend for good quality and brands I trust, but I would like to get the best possible price on what I want. So like I’ll wait until I have a coupon, comparison shop online, etc.
So like when I was looking for dresses, she wanted to help, so I would send her links to like Maggie Sottero dresses I liked that weren’t available in stores yet, and she would send me back links from these Chinese knockoff sites all proud of herself that she found “the same dress” for 1/10th the price.
She WANTS to help and is always asking what she can do to help me. And I would love to have her help. I just feel like it a waste of both our time if she is sending me stuff I would never in a million years consider paying money for.
It’s not just the dress stuff… if I send her a link to invitations, she will be like “omg those are so expensive you should just DIY!” (I don’t want to!!), or if I send a link to three pairs of shoes and ask which she likes best she’ll say “Damn, those are expensive!” (that’s not what I asked!!). It’s like everything, I feel like I can’t talk to her about anything because she can’t get past the idea of what SHE would spend on something and she always just makes me feel bad for spending what I’m spending. And I know she is noticing and starting to feel bad that I’m not talking to her about stuff as much. I just need her to stop making me feel like a bad person for liking nice things 🙁
I need a REALLY diplomatic way of bringing it up because she will get super defensive otherwise.
What do I do???