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Send STDs early and tell them there's no pressure to come and you totally understand if they can't make it. The couple is not obligated to pay travel expenses of any guest. But there may be some very important guests that can't afford to make it, so you should talk to your FI to decide how to handle it. Broadcasting the ceremony on Skype could work or possibly covering travel expenses for certain essential guests.
I would definitely send STD's well ahead of time so the overseas guests can watch for good airfares or use mileage points.
I can understand your discomfort re the expense that the guests may incur, but it is really not your responsibility. Those who attend your wedding will bethere because they want to be there.
I have attended overseas weddings. We usually combine the trip with a vacation so other than affecting our choice of where we will vacation, the expense is no different.
My fiance is Europen and most of his family lives overseas as well. To fly his immediate family over and to pay their accomadtations would cost at least 5-6K alone, never mind including all of his extended family. Don't feel bad, nobody should be expecting you to pay for their airfare - whether they are flying internationally or otherwise. I do agree that you should let them know your wedding date as soon as possible though, so that they can (hopefully) get a good deal on their flights.
You certainly are not responsible for their travel costs. Like others have said, send STD's or even just a verbal heads up about when/where and the fact that they're invited so they can watch fares to see if it's possible, and those who can afford it and want to come will do so. If there's an absolute VIP that can't afford to make it, you could potentially offer to help with their expenses if it's a possiblity for you, but no obligation.
I'm in the same situation, however, I met my FI when I was living in Scotland on a Working Holiday Visa. When my visa expired he came back to Canada with me also on a WHV.
We are having the wedding in Canada, luckiliy his parents and sister are able to attend as well as one aunt. Everyone else understands.
What you can try to do (if it's within your means), is to travel to europe within a year or two and have a mini-celebration with the relatives who were unable to come. This is what my FI and I hope to do.
I'm an American living in Paris (so cliche) with my FI, so I'm dealing with the same thing. You are totally not responsible for paying for travel expenses, but...I would certainly let people know as far in advance as possible. I sent out an email with date as soon as we knew, and asked who was tentatively planning on attending just so I could help with their travel arrangements. If I could have done it over, I would have had a longer engagment - I wanted to get married within about 7 months (I want to move back to the US soon and wanted to start that process earlier), however I didn't give people enough time to save up for it.
Also be aware that you may not get the turn out you want from his side - it's a lot of money, but also the time people take off from work, so they are using their vacation time on you. On the Franco-American weddings I've attended, usually it's just the parents, siblings, and a few really close friends who will make the effort. From the RSVPs I've gotten back so far, it seems to be the same trend as none of my extended family will make it. I've been living in France for a few years now so I've invited some of the friends I've made here obviously, but probably about 70% of the wedding will be from my FI's side.
Thanks yall! i think i have a plan in mind now to send the STD early, and for covering some of the VIP guests on his side. we are having a small wedding due to his side being extra long distance, there will be 50 guests minimum, so i worry there wont be enough family guests on the groom to be side to attend.
ive never met his overseas family so its important to me to have some of them attend. hopefully everything will work itself out.
@Au Jardin: yeah thats kindof my fear, i want to to have his loved ones there but more than likely itll be more of my side attending the wedding than his side. i definitely want him to be comfortable and see familiar faces since its his wedding too. the logistics of a marrying a foreigner :) sshould be interesting to see what the turn out will be.
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so my FI is originally from europe but has been living in the states for a decade now, hence how we crossed paths (duh)
even though we are far from the actual wedding date, the issue of invites and the expense of airfare and lodging for his overseas relatives has been on my mind recently and im not sure how i would tackle this a year from now.
when would i send invites to europe? would it be wrong for me to expect them to pay for travel expenses? or do we as a couple compensate them for their travel arrangements.
i kinda feel bad to have them pay, as its not cheap to travel from eastern europe to texas for a wedding. what do you guys think?