- 5 years ago
When my bff of 10 years asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, I was honored and excited to plan and support her through one of the most important times of her life. What I didn’t expect were petty, cheap, difficult bridesmaids, or her condescending and controlling future in laws. An event that I thought would bring me and my bff closer than ever has actually made me want to end my friendship and walk away forever.
The Bridal Shower
At the engagement party, the bridesmaids (4 of them plus myself) had a great time discussing the bridal shower plans. From themes, menu, decor and games. The months to follow, only one bridesmaid responded to any of my communcation (calls, texts, facebook) at all. She stated her and her husband are saving for a house so she won’t be able to contribute any money. Okay, fine. I am the Maid/Matron of Honor, of course I am funding this. But then she tells everyone we are serving wine at the party (PS there are 60 women invited to the shower). I told the BM’s that if they want wine at the shower, they would have to help me cater it (I am making all the food myself). I asked each to either make a dish or contribute a couple ingredients. 3 did not respond, and the 4th (who had responded earlier) said she could not afford the two $5 items I asked her to purchase. (However, she could afford a new dress for the shower?) So I have been getting past all this. These aren’t my friends, they are the brides. THEN the bride informs me that the in laws have stated that I am ruining her bridal experience by not having the shower a surprise. That all showers are surprises, and hers should have been one too. (I have rented a hall, and paid for the food, decor, prizes, etc). Then the sister in law informs me she is throwing a surprise shower the week after mine! I told her I am not cancelling mine, I have deposits paid already, so she makes hers a lingerie party. Fine. Whatever. I cant make it, I will be out of town. So they inform me that if I don’t make it to theirs, they won’t make it to mine lol.
THe Jack and Jill
A jack and jill is a joint stag, with both bride and groom. The bride and groom wanted a two day party, one day doing fun things like atving, paintballing, etc. The next day was for fancy dinner and clubbing. Since I have paid for everything for the shower, I asked the BM’s to chip in whatever they could afford. Well they refused. SO I told the bride and groom we had to have a one day party. They accused ME of cheaping out.
The Mother In Law
The mother in law is not from Canada. She has told me such things like, where I am from, the Maid/Matron of Honor pays for the brides dress and shoes, as well as her own. Where I am from, the Maid/Matron of Honor pays for a getaway for the stag for the bride and the BM’s, where I am from, the Maid/Matron of Honor gives the B&G $1000 for a wedding gift. I am going to leave it at that.
I have been a Maid/Matron of Honor before, and I never delt with stuff like this.