- 6 years ago
So I guess I should start with a little background information. All of FI’s family is Catholic. Fiance and his brother and sister were raised catholic, however none of them practice anymore. FI’s sister and brother are also both homosexual. His sister just had a commitment ceremony to her partner of nearly 10 years in March, and it was absolutely beautiful. All of his family is very accepting, which is wonderful.
Now on to Fiance and myself… Neither of us are religious AT ALL. We don’t believe in God, so obviously we weren’t planning on getting married in the church. Well, we went up to visit FI’s family for Mother’s day and for a birthday, and Future Mother-In-Law told Fiance in private that his Nanny and Poppy were going to ask him in private about our financial situation in regards to the wedding at some point while we were in town. However, when FI’s sister arrived, she told him that their mom told her that Nanny and Poppy were planning to ask us about getting married in the church. So we didn’t tell either what the other had said and we figured we would find out when they took us aside.
We went over to Nanny and Poppy’s after all the mother’s day festivities and sat down with them only to be asked why we were getting married in the church…. UGH… How do you explain to your Nanny and Poppy that you don’t believe in God… Talk about the most awkward conversation ever. We explained to them, very gently of course, that we wouldn’t feel right getting married in the church and blah blah blah… They said that they understood, but it was obvious that they were a little confused and hurt.
I love FI’s family, we get along so well, but we’ve had this conversation with his parents numerous times throughout the planning. Somehow, every time we’re in town, there is some sort of comment made about how Father Phil can still marry us in the church if we change our minds. I’m just so confused as to why Future Mother-In-Law would lie to Fiance about what Nanny and Poppy had to talk to us about. She’s such a sweet lady and that’s just really out of character for her. But when we got back to their home, she pretended she had no clue that that’s what they were going to talk to us about…
And of course the topic of how we’re going to raise our children came up. UUUGGGHHH one step at a time PLEASE!. I just don’t know how to handle this, and I generally let Fiance do most of the talking when this comes up because I don’t want to hurt any feelings. I feel like we were FI’s parent’s one chance for one of their children to get married in the church, and I understand that it’s hard for them, but the topic just really needs to be dropped. It’s been brought up way too many times, even just in passing comments. They know that we’ve booked a venue for the ceremony and we’ve hired an officiant. It’s just so hard for us both because we feel like we’re breaking their hearts, but we can’t just go through the motions of getting married in the church to make everyone else happy. It wouldn’t feel right for either of us.
Please tell me I’m not the only one with these problems!! How do you handle such a sensitive subject?