- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I’m feeling blue today. I know it’s my fault, and I know it’s jealousy because I feel like everyone I know is buying a house, but it is what it is and I’m feeling down. I want a house. Maybe I’m being melodramatic, but when I think about it my heart just aches because I want a house so badly and I royally f***ed myself.
Three years ago I bought a condo, which was great, it was a lot cheaper than renting and I actually own it. Except now I hate it, I absolutely hate living there. My neighbors are awful, the space is tiny, and for the love of pete I just want a yard, or a porch, or some place to go outside. I hate that I can’t just go outside and read, or soak up the sun, because there’s nowhere to go. Sure, I could sit in the parking lot, or drive to a park somewhere, but it’s just not the same. (Yes, I realize I’m whining.)
Now I’m stuck in a position where I hate where I am and I have no way of getting out of it. About half the units in my complex are owned by one person who rents them out, and now he’s selling 3 of them for a whole lot less than I paid for mine, so I can’t sell unless I want to take a significant loss on the place, because why in the world would anyone buy mine when there are 3 identical units for sale for thousands less, and in that case I can just kiss all the money I used for a down payment good bye.
On top of that, even if I could sell the condo and come close to breaking even, I couldn’t buy a house because my credit is sh*t. I’m trying so, so hard to rebuild my credit, but I feel like I’m getting nowhere. I worked so hard to get out of debt, and I finally paid off every single debt I owe (besides the mortgage, which is paid on time every month) and my credit score is still completely in the toilet. I don’t know what else to do and I feel stuck. I can’t get a credit card, I can’t get a loan, and I can’t do anything to rebuild my credit.
Sigh. I just feel so stuck. I’m not where I want to be in my life and I don’t know how to fix it.