- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014 - Kukahiko Estate
My SO has mentioned to me that he basically doesn’t believe in compromise. He has said to me that when you try to compromise, no one is happy since no one is getting what they want. I have tried to explain to him that compromise does not neccesarily mean each person gets 50% of what they want, it can just be that you make a decision that makes both people happy. In that case, SO might want to do something one way, I want to a second way, and the third way we both like is our compromise. I think he is starting to get what I am trying to say.
This has been an issue in some of our little arguements we get into because he doesn’t like telling me when he is upset at me for some reason. I told him, you should let me know what is bothering you so we can fix it, or I can do something else, etc. He always comes back that I shouldn’t have to “change” for him and I should just always do what I want and not consider what he wants. I am thinking he must have something that happened to him in the past that makes him not like compromise, but he is not a guy that is open about his feelings.
So Bees, my question is, how do you and your SO/FI/DH handle compromise? Any wisdom to lend us?
Also some background on myself, in past relationships I ALWAYS struggled with communicating and voicing my concerns and that had gotten me in trouble. I am really working on this and have been very open with my SO on things that upset me and trying to voice concerns before they blow up into big issues.