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I'm hopping on this thread because I have an extremely similar situation, and the same concerns!
I'm definitely worried about this. We're having a brunch reception, and we're debating having a dj or a small band, or an ipod and if we even want to have dancing. Since we won't be having an open bar (just wine, mimosas, caesers, baileys will be available) I'm worried that people won't get up and dance if they're not drinking much.
People will have a blast regardless of the lack of DJ. All that matters is how hospitable you and DH are that day and if YOU look like you're having fun. Happiness is contageous. I've been to weddings where the bride and groom were total stick in teh muds and it was awful, regardless of the price tag.
I think that if you and your FI are having a good time then others will as well. We're doing an afternoon ceremony and reception so it's not going to be a late night crazy party or anything. But I think about all my parents' parties - it's a huge crowd of people usually eating and visiting - and no one is bored.
I'm more bored at weddings that are too scheduled and feel like things are being checked off a list. And at ones where there a huge gap or I never get to talk to the bride and groom.
I think if your guests are a social bunch then they'll be fine.
I was SOOO NOT a DJ person but ended up finding a DJ that we really clicked with. I found a few things were cheesy but those moments compared to our first dance, the shout dance party, or the take me home tonight group love session, were minute.
If you are still not convinced to at least give some DJs a try here are some ideas to keep your guests occupied:
1. Photobooths: They are interactive and a fun distraction for guests
2. DIY Bar: whether it be a mash potato bar, french bar, candy bar, ice cream sundae bar, etc. these types of stations require guests to engage in the meal and hopefully will keep them coming back for more
3. Toasts: Line up a few meaningful and/or funny toasts (3-5) but be careful to ensure people don't talk too long and those you ask are engaging speakers in order to draw guests in. Toasts can backfire on you and cause the wedding to seem to drag on if the speakers aren't well received.
The bride and groom can even give a thank you toast or toast to one another.
4.Bouquet: Instead of tossing the bouquet, maybe present the bouquet to a special couple (longest married, those with closest wedding date to you, etc) and give a little toast to them
5. Your Love Story: Consider telling your love story from each of your prospectives. This is a great way for distant family or newer friends to see how your relationship developed. It is even better if you don't share with each other beforehand. You can each tell your own version or give your versions to a trusted friend to entertwine and share with your guests.
6. Love Notes: Have anniversary cards laid out on each table with pens for the guests at that table to sign (The envelopes should be labeled with the table number). The cards are then given to the bride and groom and opened on each wedding anniversary that cooresponds to the table number so Table 1 gets opened on your first anniversary, etc.
7. Giveaways: If your centerpieces can be given away turn it into a production. You could give them to the first guests to RSVP or you could have someone at the table volunteer a dollar to pass around the table while music is played. When the music stops the person you has the dollar keeps it and the person you gave the dollar up bought the centerpiece.
These are just a few ideas that you could definitely run with and customize for your own event. I would say though if you are still against a DJ I would look into appointing someone the MC who can help direct guest's attention to important events such as when to get dinner, that the cake cutting is taking place, etc.
@Ms. Meowerson: That's the thing, I'm not sure many people will even dance. At my sister's wedding only her and the wedding party danced the entire night along with their friends. So I'm a little worried that there will be no one dancing and I don't know what kind of song to pick for the iPod. My FI and I have never even danced together (I know, weird) even though I love to dance so our first dance isn't going to be "highlighted" and we'll just make sure we dance to the song we love as our first dance song. I feel like I don't know my guests well enough if they will or won't dance so that makes it hard.
@Miss_Riley: Wow what a list! :)
1. Our budget is small and photobooth was X'ed long time ago unfortunately. We don't have anywhere to set it up even a fauxtobooth since the place is small (holds 96 people and expect around 75). We also don't have anyone who would be willing to run it thus meaning they can't enjoy themselves at the party since they are "on photo duty". :\
2. Our buffet was the only company we could find that was afforable to use...and space would be an issue even if we had really wanted the DIY bar---cool idea though!
3. Unfortunately we are not having a wedding party due to the drama that first started a year ago when we were thinking about having a wedding party so no toasts/speeches will be had.
4. That's a good idea :)
5. Cute but just not something we could do---the FI is a shy dude.
6. Never heard of this before! I like this :)
7. Good idea---which reminds me, need to figure out just what to do about the centerpieces! HA!
Jeez, I sound like a bummer, but really, finding people to help us and not complain about this or that for our wedding day is few and far between so I don't even want to imagine what it would be like to ask someone to MC. Grr, people are so mean and not helpful.
A relatively cheap and easy but maybe fun idea might be setting up a laptop with photos to show on an overhead screen? You could sort out pics of you both (with friends/family or such) from when your years together, or maybe have folks who bring a digital camera to the wedding to upload their pics to the laptop to show directly or such?
We have a relatively small venue as well, no DJ, no budget to get some of the other cool ideas .. etc either . And I too worry about our guests being bored :-( Though I think that in the end it'll all work out just fine; there will be music, a well filled bar, nice snacks to munch on, a small dancefloor for those who like to do so, and I am positive folks will have a good time without us having to really entertain them!
@mrs-to-be: That's a cute idea too. I think maybe I'm just an oddball bride, but we don't have that many photos of us together. I shy away from the camera and the thought of photography all day for the wedding just tweaks me out. ;)
We also have been worried about people being bored & are having a small wedding (30 people). Thankfully they are a social bunch. But even so, we have the added problem of a language barrier between his parents and mine. That will make things interesting. Oh and no alcohol or dance floor. It just isn't 'us.' To liven things up we will have a video slide show, Wii to play after that, table games (mazes containing gift cards), mp3 playing music, and live food stations. Adding to the worry of the day is a 2 1/2 hour gap between ceremony and reception. To fill that we are taking everyone mini golfing (ties in with our first date too). At any rate we will have fun if no one else does. So hopefully things will be fine.
@Curlysue: I prefer to be the one behind the camera instead of the one in front of it myself heh. Always thought there werent that many pics of me and FI together but when I was looking for some to give to his mother before she took a 6-week trip down to Australia to visit family (and she wanted to show of her son ofcourse heh) I realized I had more of us together then I had thought. Still, I do agree with the thought of having pics of me/us on an overheadprojector for a prolongued period of time kinda creeps me out hah!
@mrs-to-be: We've only been together for two years so our amount of photos are quite small. I can't imagine the amount of photos some people have that have been together for a very long time!! Wow!
If the bride and groom are enjoying themselves, everyone else will too. The dj and everything else are nice but not required and people will have a good time no matter what you offer, if they go in with the intention to do so. If someone goes in with the mindset to be bitter and not have fun, then they won't enjoy themselves like everyone else. Really, there isn't any need to worry though.
@Curlysue: no actual suggestions, because I think everything will be absolutely perfect as-is!
Just wanted you to know that you are not alone in worrying about that kind of thing. We are getting a band, and I worry that the band is going to be fun and upbeat and playing and all the guests will stay in their chairs and not dance or have fun...just a big empty dance floor of awkwardness. My FI (the voice of reason in all wedding related things) tells me everything will be fine, they will all be happy just to be there eating and drinking and visiting with us....and deep down I know he is right...and there will be too much going on for me to notice the night of.
We aren't doing the tosses either. A lot of our friends are married already and we don't want the unmarried to feel weird.
Relax and think positive and I will too 
@Miss_Riley: I LOVE LOVE LOVE the love notes idea - how sweet! I've never heard of that before!!
@Curlysue: your reception sounds fine and people won't be bored as long as the reception doesn't lag (ie: if they have to wait a long time for food to start, etc.) - just figure out a schedule of when you want things to happen (ie: entrance, food start, cake cutting, any dances you do, toasts) and it does help if you have an MC to be in charge of helping people along. I'm doing the tosses but opening it up to everyone (not sure if I'll open it up to all women and all men - or do one big co-ed toss for both) - because I hate the toss and have about the same number of singles attending.
@Ember78: Oh we definitely won't be bitter. We are so excited for the day it can't get here soon enough! HA! I think I just look back at the few weddings I've been to and they were so dull---but I think it's because there was so much dead time (like another girl just suggested to avoid) so maybe that was the problem. They were also MC'd by the worst DJs ever--think cornball dudes ;)
@musthavedietcoke: Your FI sounds like my FI! :) I know he's right too, it's just something I'm stressing over. I appreciate the support, I feel better reading through all the suggestions and whatnot. I had thought about doing the toss anyway for the girls with all in attendance to go for the bouquet--or a break-away bouquet instead for a fun twist, but my mom thinks it's silly and not the point of a bouquet toss. UGH
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Do you ever have these fears? I worry our guests will be bored out of their minds. We aren't having a DJ because we have never been to a wedding with a good DJ and think they are an utter waste of money. Plus, our venue, really isn't set up for one and people always just use iPods to play music through the sound system at the venue...it's a small place. My dad's side of the family are used to big German weddings and lots of alcohol. My mom's side of the family is small (five people!) and are not what I worry about. We are providing bottled beer and then various non-alcoholic drinks. Due to only three single gals and two single men we aren't doing the bouquet toss or the garter toss since it's embarassing to single people out like that--especially when there are so few. Oh, we are also providing a buffet for dinner so they will be fed.
I worry that since we aren't providing the usual entertainment people are used to then they will be bored out of their minds and only remember that the wedding was a bore.
Any suggestions?