Concerned, very concerned

posted 3 years ago in Massachusetts – Central Massachusetts
Post # 3
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I would go above the coordinator and talk to management about your concerns regarding lack of communication.

Post # 4
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@momofliz:  I understand having high expectations of your vendors.  I don’t think you’ve given enough info here though to judge if you’re expectations are realistic though.

Here are a few rules or thumb or best practices that I’d keep in mind.  This comes from more than planning my wedding (which can be emotional, so not the best barometer).  I do a fair amount of event planning for work, so it comes from those experiences.

 – You should get a level of service comparable to what you’re paying for.  If you’ve chosen more budget venue, you can’t expect white gloved service.  However, if you’ve chosen a premium/luxury venue, your expectations can be first class.  For example, when I held our office Christmas Party at one of the best 5 star hotels in the city with a full dinner,open bar and the works, I had an elevated expectation of service compared to when I held it at a mid range boutique hotel in the suburbs.

 – I think a reasonable standard for non-urgent responses to email/voicemail is 24-48 hours.  When I’m at work, I’m not just sitting around watching my email, I’m getting things done.  This person is not your personal wedding planner, they are the coordinator for the hotel and are thus handling many events.  This timeframe seems professional and appropriate.

 – Focus on results.  What’s important is not the coordinator being at your beck and call, but them getting things done.  If they take a few days to get back to you or can’t accommodate a new request, that’s one thing.  If they are doing thing inaccurately, losing track of your information, or going back on past promises that’s a different problem.

 – Set yourself up for success.  Even though it’s your coordinator’s job to be more organized than you, if you make her job easier you’ll be more likely to get the results you are seaking (a well executed event).  Do your best to communicate with her in a way that’s organized and easy to follow.  This means things like trying to limit your communication to what’s essntial instead of sending her a million communications that she’ll have to track, sending her things that are well organized and clear, etc.  

 – If you feel necessary, have an expectation setting conversation with her.  If you two agree on a service level it will make things clear when you are being over/under served.

Post # 6
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you may be frustrated by the lack of responses, but if the wedding date is correct, you still have 7 months to get it all worked out and may change your minds several times by then. I went through something similar when planning my daughter’s wedding at a Sheraton, but I was much closer in my time frame as it was all planned and done in less than 3 months. It was my own fault,tho, as what I expected from her was less than she could provide, but in the weeks prior to the wedding, she really stepped up and became my right hand!

I know its nice to have everything settled early, but again, you or your daughter and her fiance may change their minds a million times between now and then. Best of luck!

Post # 7
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@momofliz:  I understand your frustrations however, if the wedding isn’t until April, you’re waaay ahead of some things. The hotel has many, many events before yours.

I’m a big plan-ahead type of person (and it sounds like you are too) but you have to understand that some things can’t be done until you’re closer to the date. 

Personally, I would be careful about how demanding you are. You should absolutely be clear about your expectations and shouldn’t settle for less than what you want but be mindful about how you communicate. You don’t want to come across that “crazy mother”. If everything you email about is “urgent” then none of it is. Know what I mean?

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