Post # 1
I’m terrified that I don’t have the organizational ability, delegation know-how, tact, diplomacy and general ability to pull off this lakeside wedding that I’m planning while still having a good relationship with my FI, my mother and his mother.
Such anxiety. Losing sleep at night anxiety and the wedding isn’t until July.
Anyone else experience this?
Post # 3
Anxiety is very common, so don’t feel alone!
I think all brides have a “i can’t pull this off” moment (or a dozen of them) and certainly many of us ahve family problems in one form or the other.
The best thing to do when you’re feeling really overwhelmed with wedding stuff is to take a deep breath, have a glass of wine and maybe some cuddle time with your honey and remember that this wedding marks the beginning of a lifetime…it’s just a party celebrating that! Don’t think you have to compete with the magazine or other brides before you. Just have a wedding that’s you.
Everything won’t go perfectly, but it will be a happy day, and when it’s over you’ll be a wife to you man!
I know it’s seems frustrating and overwhelming, but hang in there!
Post # 4
I say pay someone for the troubles…HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER!! It’ll be less stressful for you maybe, but you still have a lot of time left to do things slowly so I don’t think you need to worry!
I’ve been there with the anxiety though, I would dream about wedding stuff every night, but I think it was because I was stressing myself out. It’ll pass hopefully, but it wouldn’t be bad to really consider finding a reasonable priced wedding planner/coordinator.
Post # 5
*hugs* If you can afford it, definintely hire someone. I won’t be, but it’ll be less stressful for you, and she’ll be able to act as a liason btw you and your mom if you have different opinions!
I’m going to do it in 5 months, and I am SO not looking forward to pulling that off.
Post # 6
It seems so overwhelming sometimes, doesn’t it? You CAN pull this off. Just try and do only one major task at a time. You are likely to disagree with your family or FI on some things – but that is just part of the wedding planning process.
I couldn’t afford a planner (which would have been a godsend), but if you can squeeze it in your budget, that would make things easier! A friend of mine had a planner and she said it made things SOOOO much easier.
Post # 7
wedding planning IS very very stressful especially when you are still trying to find vendors. but don’t worry, you’ll feel a lot better after you’ve finalized your vendor list 🙂
like other suggested, you can always hire someone. i am on a tight budget and since i’ve already found most of my vendors, so i won’t hire a wedding planner, but i am considering a DOC.
Post # 8
I HATE party planning, so one of the first things I did was hire a wedding planner – fortunately I hired one who wasn’t offended by my constant searching for the best price on anything, from the pointsettias for the ceremony decor to the photographer. The one thing I’ve stayed out of entirely is the reception decor and my planner is a decorating genius!
Maybe to relieve your stress you can figure out the one thing you are really worried about (invitations, reception decor etc) and hire someone to do that! It will take a good chunk of the pressure off you and let you enjoy the process a little more.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Also something to remember (this helps me when I am feeling anxious): Any wedding that has a certain amount of time, energy and thought put into it will be amazing! It’s true, the wedding’s that aren’t awesome are usually the one’s where there is a limited amount of thought put towards it (notice I said thought, not funds!)…
If you can spring for it, def hire a DOC but even if you can’t, you have so much time to really put it together, you will be fine! It’s going to be in Montana, right? It will be so beautiful and you sound like you’re putting a lot of effort and work into the wedding so it will all come together, I promise!
Post # 10
I had one of these moments and had to have several conversations with my FI about what we wanted the wedding to be like. From there, maybe you could have a series of convos with your mom and one or two good ones with his mom about what they would be willing to help out with. Honesty is always a good policy: share your concerns with them about organizing and pulling things off on your own and recruit their help. A word of caution: make sure your vision is communicated really clearly so you are all working toward the same ideas.
Regarding the organization, if you can’t hire a coordinator, do you have a really well organized friend that can help you set up some system of where to put things?
And I wouldn’t worry about not having the tact – just the fact that you are concerned about it tells me you probably have more than many people while planning.
Post # 11
THanks guys. THe wedding is in Idaho, on Lake Coeur d’Alene. We’re in Montana and both of our mothers are in Washington State (but on opposite sides of the state). Our parents haven’t even met yet!
I’m scared about coordinating everything. We are hiring a DOC, for sure! But I feel like I need to get the grand vision done before I can start delegating things, you know? And I’m having a hard time transforming what I have in my head into a format that everyone can weigh in on. Spreadsheet? Outline? Written paragraphs?
Post # 12
I’ve never so much as planned a party, much less a wedding, so I felt this way at first. But it’s really not so bad. You read books and websites and learn the right questions to ask. You call up vendors and one or two jump out at you as being a great fit. You get ideas from friends, blogs, or sometimes out of the blue. And it comes together in the end.
A couple of things I’ve learned so far are: 1) it’s highly unlikely you’ll avoid upsetting your mom, mother in law, or both at some point over wedding decisions – it comes with the territory. But it certainly doesn’t mean your relationship will be harmed long-term. 2) You don’t need to have a grand vision and know how every element fits in that vision. If you do, that’s great, but if not, your wedding won’t be any worse for it. Guests will care about their convenience, about the food and music, but certainly not about whether each element of the day fits into a theme or vision.