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Girls I have a confession to make. It's a deep dark shameful secret. I've kept it from you because you are all so on top of things that you make me pale in comparison.
Here goes:
I *just*, 2 nights ago, finished my last wedding thank you notes. There were 4 left. They were those hard ones, where you either didn't know what the person got you, had complicated issues to deal with, or where you had to respond to the group of 5 people who all chipped in to get you one bamboo plate (total cost $4.75). How do you thank a group of 5 for a gift that cost them less than a dollar each?! (I still laugh about that one!) The thank you cards to each of them cost more per card!
My goal was to get them done before Lemon arrived, and it looks like I've barely succeeded!
Anyway, I've unburdened my heart to you... So what is your deepest darkest wedding secret? Do tell! Make me feel better!
Haha, that's great. At least you didn't put the rest off until you figured out the few! FSIL was determined to send all of hers out at the same time, so they were all really late.
My confession? I'm in a really deep hole with FMIL in regards to our officiant! Years ago I was still a strong Christian and the wedding came up in conversation. I mentioned that I wanted to have my uncle officiate since he is a Lutheran pastor. She was a little upset that our church's pastor wouldn't be performing the ceremony, but understood and basically said, "well, since he's family, I guess it's okay."
Well, fast forward to today... neither R nor I are Christians. My uncle would probably still officiate for us, but he would not do so without God in the ceremony. We're just not comfortable with that, so we're not asking. But we have no idea how to tell FMIL so we're just kind of smiling and nodding!
My secret is that I didn't write one thank you note!
...
DH wrote them all because he has the "pretty" handwriting and I write like a mad scientist!
Yay, someone else posted!!! I was getting a little nervous there.
@Lily- we had the same issue. I had promised my youth pastor years ago that he could officiate. He's a second father to me, so it made sense. Suffice it to say, there was probably more God in our ceremony than suits either of us, but I couldn't have imagined anyone else officiating.
I imagine it would have been very hard to unask him, so I feel your pain!!! Best of luck and hopefully you find someone who reflects your values!
My secret:
I dont like how one of my BMs looks in her bridesmaid dress.. her 'girls' are little more exposed than the liking of my christian parents. I havent said anything. Im not going too... but I did buy them all a shawl just so she can cover up a little and i used the excuse it could be cold :)
Thanks, luckily we never asked my uncle, so it's just FMIL who needs "untelling" I guess - unfortunately, it's not going to go over well.
@MightySapphire - darn, I wish R had better handwriting than I do! That sounds like a sweet deal.
@lily- that makes it way easier :)
@MS- you are one lucky duck
@ccrane- at least there was a plausible solution, because that could be a pretty yikes situation!
That makes me feel a bit better about some of the really, really surprisingly cheap gifts we got. ;) I would have prefered a card to 1/5 of a $5 plate.
These are all too funny. I don't think I have anything major to confess, unless "bumping" your own threads counts 
I'm embarassed to say... one day I got so frustrated with my FIs laissez-faire attitude towards wedding planning that I told him to that he needed to "suck it up and help more." I went on to say that "Weddings are not fun for the bride and groom - they aren't supposed to be. The honeymoon will be fun - but the reception, forget having fun there! We're hosting the event - and there is a lot going on."
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have said that (and eventually apologized)... He was a little taken aback by that comment, and sometimes I think he still remembers it but doesn't say anything. (I was frustrated in part because I really wanted a 30 person morning wedding followed by a brunch and he wanted a 120 person evening wedding with the DJ and alcohol, etc. He won.)
CC, I think you might want to rethink your plan. Your bridesmaid may be really uncomfortable and the gown may not be fitting correctly. I have a friend of similar size who ended up in a gown that wasn't fitted correctly. She didn't complain and so she spent the wedding feeling like she was exposing herself... and covered up asap after the ceremony. Looking at all the maids in their gowns could show you that they aren't fitting that bridesmaid correctly. (A properly fit gown will look like it hits her at the same body point as another girl even if one is small and petite, another tall and curvy, and a third medium and average in size... I don't mean their bodies will look identical.... but the coverage should be about the same. If the gown has a waistband you should be able to see it on all the girls. If her chest measurements deem that her gown should have a couple more inches to be appropriate then you need to be talking to the shop.
My confession?
I'm hoping for a bunch of declines!! Is that awful or what? I'd love for everyone to come, but our list just got out of hand... I don't want our venue to be crammed.
Also, I stalk my registry. Bad girl.
My confession:
We're getting married in the town FI is in college at. I went to college six hours away. I resent that all his friends will be already be here, and that some of mine are unlikely to make the trip.
We aren't serving alcohol, not only because my FI doesn't drink, but because my aunt's are all crazy when they are drunk, and we are American Indian, and I don't want FI's Euro-American family to look at us as a bunch of drunk Indians!
Me too, BlueShoes! Our guest list expanded quite quickly and now I would not be too disappointed to see some "regretfully declines".
1) I'm so happy his extended family won't be able to make to the wedding (across the country). I really did not want them to dominate the tone... isn't that awful? I don't dislike them we just have really different styles
2) We're not having a particularly religious ceremony, it will be outdoors, no praying, etc. I love how shocked his family was. Also? We're doing a special message from bride & groom at the beginning of the ceremony stating our support for same-sex marriage and that we pray one day everyone will have the right to marry. Totally aside from the serious, heartfelt side of it -- I am so looking forward to their reaction (conservative Christians, etc). I am bad
Blueshoes2, I have the same confession. I can't wait to open my mailbox and see the no's come rolling in. We had to invite way more people than we would have chosen to invite on our own...my mother and FMIL gave us long lists of people FI and I don't really know. Since my wedding is basically a destination wedding for most of the guests, we're expecting my wish to come true.
@Blueshoes, SAME CONFESSION! Everytime someone says No I secretly think "Yes!!!".
Missbliss: oh its actually.. well.. its more of a problem for me. I noticed on her... BUT she is okay with it.. shes like well if you got em flaunt em. And its kinda acceptable by the majority. All my other BMs are fairly flat chested, so she just stands out anyway being the only.. *cough* well endowed BM.
My Confession:
I'm not sending an invitation to my dad's sister that lives across the country. She's selfish and never come to any other major life event in mine, my brother, or my cousins (including her own children) lives so why invite her to one of the most intimate and memorable days of my life?
My true confession:
My dad doesn't know.
You guys are SO funny. I can also relate to the mailbox rsvp issue. Sometimes I think "Oh man, are you sure you REALLY want to come??" I havent recieved one decline yet :(
I claim that I'm not having a flowergirl because there are too many little girls to choose from and I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. The truth is I don't want some 2 yr old causing a distraction during my wedding and I don't want people talking about how adorable she is all night.
My confession: haven't sent out all my thank you notes yet. I started but never finished. :(
My confession:
I'm praying that my future MONSTER in law won't come to the wedding.
I'm with BlueShoes and the others!
My secret: I have an anger journal because otherwise I'm afraid I'd go all bridezilla on some people. All the things that irritate me go in there and I lock it up in a safe place.
Lol, DG, I love your confession! This is a great thread. :) Hmmm, my wedding-related confession is...
I was super excited when the wedding was finally over. Even though the reception ended sooner than I thought it would, it felt too long. My husband and I are totally awkward, and we really had no idea what to do during the reception. We walked around and talked to everybody, danced, cut the cake, and then we disappeared with the photographer for about an hour to take more pictures. We aren't really "party" people and we suck at mingling, so we ended up just kinda standing off to one side until people left. It was pretty uncomfortable. :)
We both don't believe in God and we're getting married in a church. The main reason is my real confession here: Because I think it will look nicer in pictures. The secondary reason is because we were pressured by our families. I know, really bad..
I do have a confession. No one knows but me. (and you bees now) I have a huge family. There are many who I love and want to be @ our wedding. But there are others who are not really part of my life. I secretly want to have a smaller wedding and cut out the ones who I don't speak to often. But I know there would be hurt feelings so I basically have to suck it up...... We are going to have a guest list of approx 300-350. I secretly would like to be around 200. Thats still a huge number but then I know it would be people who actuall know and love us!
This is a great thread.
FIs older sister is a drug addict, is dating a drug addict, has the brattiest 10-year-old that I've ever known and is always dragging her drama everywhere she goes. My confession: The only reason that I'm not insisting on taking her off of the guest list is because her 4-year-old girl is going to be the sweetest flower girl that's ever walked an aisle. :)
My confession that I haven’t told anyone is that I don’t really love my engagement ring. I am jealous of all you ladies who had input and say with your rings. R never bought me any jewelry before or asked my preference on jewelry, and I hardly ever (i.e.: never) wear jewelry, so I want this ring to be something I LOVE, and I just don’t. I’ve had it a year and a half, and figured I would grow to love it over time – and I don’t. Sigh. :(
I feel horrible about it, and will likely never tell R. I love the sentiment of course, and don’t need a ring to marry him – but since it’s the one piece I will wear everyday, I do wish it were something I loved. (Not that it matters, but the ring he picked has no significance to him, he picked it “because it was sparkly” so I can’t even force myself to love it because it’s a family piece or something).
Sorry to be such a downer, but this has been irritating me lately! (And please don’t hate me too much lol, I am thankful for the ring, and it’s pretty, but in all honesty, it’s just not “me”.) :(
My confession:
My FIs family isn't pitching in a dime toward any part of our wedding or rehersal dinner. It's fine but at one point they said they would pay for flowers and now have backed off from that too. My parents are pitching in some money and we're paying for the rest. But they keep insisting that they "really want to be involved".
@gabrielle - can you have it reset before the wedding when you are picking out wedding bands? I know a lot of brides who do that. Don't feel bad either, I DID have input on the style, etc. but it was still up to FI to pick out the stone and setting and it's not what I would have chosen. But it's beautiful and I do love it, at the same time though I totally understand where you're coming from!
My confession: I love my FI and truely can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him but I absolutely HATE planning this wedding. The more details involved, the more I wish we just ran to City Hall.
@moderndaisy – I don’t know if I could reset it – but maybe. Maybe I will ask a jeweler, I hadn’t really thought of doing that before (like I said, I'm "jewlery for dummies" because I never wear any). I have always wanted a bezel set solitaire set in a very delicate rose gold band, and, I was much more interested in getting an alternative stone to a diamond, due to ethical/environmental implications, and because diamonds don’t really do “it” for me.
I guess I just wish he had consulted me first, even a little. He does for everything else, which is good! He is amazing otherwise, so I can’t complain :)
Like I said, I feel very badly because I know we are all suppose to love whatever we get, and it shouldn’t be about the material – but it is a material piece I will be wearing for the next 50 or so years (if I’m lucky!), and I just can’t convince myself to LOVE it. I'll look into resetting. <ok, vent over> :)
@Vonnegurl - LOL at anger journal! Love it!
Confession - I am having my two sisters as my Maid and Matron of honor and don't really have a lot of close girlfriends for bridesmaids. FH wants 4 guys in his party and none of them are his brothers. I love these guys but I'm afraid it will look unbalanced, and it will also make me sad if his brothers feel left out of if he doesn't have them in the party.
Also, I am kinda dreading dress shopping with my mom and sisters. I'm thinking of doing a first pass alone then bringin them only once I have a good idea of my final pics.
We got one gift with no clue who it was from...no card, no "To/From" card, nothing. We got few gifts so we couldn't narrow it down by who didn't get us something. We asked our families and MIL thought it would be a cousin of hers. Since I don't trust MIL, I didn't send them a TY card. Plus I wrote the TY cards to my family, DH to his so I figure it's on DH.
I just did reviews on weddingwire and purposefully didn't post one because it's mostly negative and didn't want to deal with what the vendor may say in return. Yeah I know, if it's true, why do I have a problem with it? I just don't want to deal with the possible aftermath and any drama. And if someone does ask about this vendor I do point them to my bio, in which I gave my review, as negative as it was so I don't feel I'm totally letting future brides go in blind.
I also hoped for a lot of 'no's and got 'em.
I am absolutely hoping for a lot of "No" RSVPs! We wanted a small wedding from the beginning (less than 100 people), but I have a huge family so the guest list has blown up a bit! We are really hoping that since our wedding is on a Friday AND it's right after Christmas/New Years, we will have a lot of declines!
I have another one lol:
My Second Confession: When registering, I scanned the toaster my FI thought was ugly and ridiculous lol. On purpose. ha ha
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