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When people ask us how we met, my FI always chimes right in, "We met on-line" and it makes me cringe a little. I always wonder if people are judging us or think we were losers for being on-line in the first place. I don't know why this bothers me so much. Maybe because my mother says, "You're lucky you didn't get killed when you met a stranger out at a restaurant"
Anyone else feel strange when telling people that you and your SO/BF/FI/DH met on-line?
i don't like highlighting it, but i know that's kind of dumb. lots of people meet online now! even though i never thought i would use online dating, it worked out really well :)
We met online - he emailed me through MySpace (random!) and we met in person a week later and we've been together ever since. We met for our first date at the train station near the zoo in Dublin so depending on who we're talking to we might tell them we met at the train station (makes for some great looks) but if it's someone we know well or we just don't care what they think we'll tell them the whole story. I've probably told the whole truth 90% more than I have been vague. Doesn't bother me - got me the best guy I could have dreamt of!
Honestly? No, it wasn't weird at all, because I think comments like your mom's are very rude and if someone had ever said that to us, I would have argued with them until they realized they were being stupid...but I'm argumentative :)
I figure I had two options to meet people:
1) at a bar
2) online
I wasn't going to meet someone through my "hobbies" (I like girly things), I don't date friends (ever), and I work with all women. At least by meeting someone online I could internet stalk them to make sure they didn't have a criminal record :)
I know a few internet dating couples who get very defensive about telling people that they met online. We aren't--we think it's funny, and we tell people about our first few email exchanges. We haven't gotte any negative feedback, but we have gotten a few people who were "surprised" that's how we met...
haah I know a couple who completely hid the fact that they met online from their entire family. They had some elaborate lie about how they met and that's what they told everyone.
Nope, don't feel strange in the least. It's a lot more common these days! I met FI on match.com and I even tell him that I think we should be on a commercial for it! :-) Our families and friends know that's how we met and no one even blinks an eye...my 81-year-old grandmother even approved! Hah!
I don't think there's any shame in meeting people online, especially on sites like Match and eHarmony, where you can (theoretically) vet potential dates more.
lol i kind of feel the same way. When FI first friended me on facebook it asks you how you know the person (or it did back then) and he put "match.com" i was like wow-- no need to advertise there buddy! haha. He has always been super open about it and while I've never lied... I used to totally cringe when people asked. Now I've made a conscious decision to get over it. The bottom line is that I met someone and I'm happy, so who cares, right? :)
Yep, and that’s why we don’t. To this day, no-one knows that we actually met on Myspace. Everyone thinks we met at FI’s old job (retail) though over the years we have told so many variations of the story that we don’t know who knows what. We pretty much try to be as vague as possible but I’m definitely a little worried about it coming up at our wedding where EVERYONE knows a different story. Back then, the thought of on-line dating was still taboo and we didn’t think our families would really understand.
When we “met” I just gotten out of a semi-abusive relationship and I was really just looking for someone entertaining to chat with. I saw his profile and thought he was cute so I contacted him. We started talking and soon realized that we clicked. When we decided to meet, I was totally sketched out since I had never done anything like this before so I told him I drove a different car than I really did just so I could make sure he wasn’t come middle aged molester. Turns out he wasn’t and he was just as cute as I thought he would be. We met for the first time at an area Applebees and he even brought me dead flowers, lol. The day we met was SO HOT and his car didn’t have AC. In just the ride from his house to the restaurant (about 20 minutes), the flowers died. I didn’t care though, it was the thought that counts. I kept those flowers for weeks until my mother finally threw them away because they were starting to stink.
5 years later we were engaged and 6.5 years later we’ll be married. We still talk about how crazy it was that Myspace brought us together. A few years ago, Myspace had a contest for couples who met on there. I think the prize was like a free wedding or something. I was too chicken to apply.
I tell my mother that meeting some guy in a bar, giving him my number, and then letting him pick me up for a date a week later is even more dangerous. He knows where you live, he has your phone number, he has your last name if it's on your voice mail, but on-line you can be more cautious if you want to. But you know moms. LOL
I, proudly, met my husband online! As a matter of fact, we met on Craigslist!! I had gone through dating websites (eHarmony & Match) and even tried a pricey dating program called, "It's Just Lunch" and met NO ONE with potential. Then, one day around New Year's I decided to put a spontaneous and random ad on CL that said (and I quote) "What the heck!" as my title. My husband, among others, responded to my ad. I corresponded with my hubby for almost a month online and on the phone before meeting in person. We had our first date on 2/16/08 and have been together ever since!!
P.S. As long as your wise about meeting men in public AFTER speaking to them for some time, you'll be okay. It's the quick hook-ups after talking once or twice that usually get you nowhere (i.e. one date and the guy asks you to come to his place). Moral of the story is to be SMART!
I am very open with my friends and family about meeting online, but my fiance is the one who's kept it fairly secret. He just tells people we met at a restaurant/bar place and he got my number there. I'm sure at some point people either have or will figure out that that's what happened AFTER we met online, but that's his problem not mine.
Pretty much all of my friends have done online dating at one point or another. I really don't consider it sketchy. At least not compared to all the other ways to meet people. I would NEVER date anyone I met at work, meeting people at bars is OK but kinda sketchy, meeting people at the gym or while working out is really skeevy (I am there to work out, not be chatted up!), and I already knew most of my friends' friends and had no interest in dating any of them. Plus, being set up my friends is kind of annoying.
So why not online? It's no worse and often a much better alternative to all the creepy ways we meet peopel offline!
A couple of months ago, my best friend confessed that the guy she'd be seriously dating for eight months was someone she met online...not at a music festival like she'd originally said. I was far more upset about the lie than the fact that they met online.
I think it's the right thing to be honest with your friends and loved ones. Don't worry about what they're thinking. Your relationship is happy and healthy and that's what matters. :)
@mwitter80: see when i tell people that, they tend to think about it, and then AGREE with me! :)
my mom was actually proud of me for being so meticulous in my online dating"vetting" process haha
My FI and I met on MYSPACE haha he messaged me one day and after talking for weeks thru email and phone we realized we only lived 2 miles away from eachother! its been 4 years and he is my best friend so I would tell people poo on you I found love!
When internet dating started in the mid-90's it was embarassing because I felt that there was something wrong we me because I could not meet anyone the old fashioned way. But you know what its helped people meet who would otherwise never have met. Its the norm now. I would not be embarassed about it. You found each other, thats all that matters.
My FI and I met on Craigslist, and no-one in either of our family knows. We have a story were we met in Target, or something. It changes every time, our latest story is the one from Rocky (how he met Adrian and proposed etc), but if we're asked seriously, we say We just met! :)
I also hear the "internet people are all sociopaths", and I do get it, there are a lot of horror stories out there. But I was safe about it :)
I thought it was a bit weird telling people at first but now it seems like it's a lot more common than it was 2 1/2 years ago when we met.
I think one thing that makes me more forthcoming about the fact that we met online is that we have been together ever since and now we're happily married. When we were just 'dating' and everything was very new it was a bit more awkward to tell people how we met. At this point it's mostly irrelevant!
At first we kept it pretty quiet, but now we're proud of it.More and more of the couples we know have met online and it seems to be a great option for people who are fed up with the bar scene.
We lived three blocks apart, but never would have met if it hadn't been for that dating website. I think that as a society we are far more insular than we used to be, so online dating is a great option for individuals looking for a relationship...especially because you know the people on any given dating website are also looking for dates...and not just for one night hook-ups, as those can pretty much be found at any bar on any given Friday or Saturday night!
Now when people ask me how we met I tell them proudly, because I like spreading the word about how successful relationships that start online can be!
@mwitter80: You should check out my bio. It will make you feel a lot better. We met online 10 years ago in a yahoo chat room while roleplaying. Yeah. And then we tried it and stayed together for four years, but we were just too young. Then FACEBOOK is what brought us back together so we met online the second time around also!
Imagine back in 1998 what people said to me when I said I met him online. I was 17 and everyone was SHOCKED! HOW COULD YOU MEET SOMEONE ONLINE!? WHAT IF THEY ARE A KILLER!? lol There were no dating sites back then.
Anyway, it's 2010 and now more relationships start online. Before the internet, we were stuck with meeting people in our area. You either got together with people you went to high school with or met someone in college. Now you can meet your prince charming from Spain and make it work. Don't be ashamed!
@AnamCara: I agree. When it's very new relationship you kind of feel iffy about declaring you met online. Especially if you met 'back in the day' when online relationships were few and far between and there were no dating sites to speak of. Now online dating is the norm. How quickly technology has changed a very classic social norm!
I met my very first bf online as well and it was a good relationship. Back in the day it was taboo to meet online.
This taboo was further perpertrated by news items painting ALL online chatters with the same psychopathic brush. Even now you don't hear so many wonderful stories of couples who have met online in the mainstream media. Even now the things that make the big news is the one where some girl was molested, killed, etc. as a result of an online relationship.
At the end of the day what really matters is if you HAVE and USE common sense regardless of WHERE you meet your mate!
i wouldn't judge you! i met my ex-fiace online...it's no big deal to me. people who are bothered by it...well, what can they do about it now, anyway? as long as you're smart about it and use common sense, and Always meet in a public, crowded place, i don't think there's anything wrong with meeting someone online.
We also met online. Like many of the other posters, I was a bit weirded out by it at the beginning of the relationship. I told the truth to my family and friends, but those other people in life that ask I said that we met at university, and since we were both going there at the same time it was plausible.
I'm way less weird about it now that so much time has passed and it's less taboo. I'll tell everyone now that we met online. In fact, he was the very first person I met, 10 minutes after signing up to my very first online dating site. He had just signed up too, about 2 or 3 minutes before me. It was fate.
@Miss Tattoo: My brother met his wife through the internet over 10 years ago! They met while playing an online game together and got married about 3 years after meeting. :) They proudly tell people that they met on-line (they had to tell my mom after all, my SIL was living in Colorado at the time they met while my brother was here in California!) and then laughingly tell people how my mom warned my brother that my SIL was probably a floozy and my SIL's mom warned her that my brother could be an axe murderer. :P
As for me, I also proudly met my hubby online. I will argue it to the death to anyone that wants to tell me that meeting someone on-line is anymore dangerous then picking up some random stranger in a bar! It all depends (as with everything) on how you approach it. When Anton and I met (well I did this with ANYONE that I met from on-line) we met some place neutral with lots of people. He and I had talked via text messaging and voice communications online for months before we met and I think we probably already knew each other pretty darn well by then. We also had no idea that our meeting each other would be anything other then 2 friends meeting and putting a face with the name and voice!
Besides, even if I DID want to hide how we met, the fact that he's from 6k miles away from me would probably be a good clue to most people that we didn't meet at some random local shop! lol
We met on Yahoo and not only do we not hide it, we brag about it :) Anyone who criticizes internet dating is just ignorant of how it works. It's a great filter and you "know" someone a lot better before you meet, rather than say, meeting in a bar and having absolutely no background info. There's a much wider pool from which to fish, plus I have found people who date online are more likely to be successful, professional, better educated and more intelligent over all. There are plenty of creeps (same as the "real" world) but you can weed those out pretty quickly and even better, before you ever lay eyes on them :)
@PutABirdOnIt: You said just about what I say to people who ask me if I was afraid to meet someone from on-line!! :P
I think a pretty substantial percentage of couples meet online these days.
Work used to be the place, but with all of the fears about sexual harassment lawsuits, that's not as common as it was back in the day.
People buy their houses, cars, clothes, etc online these days. What's wrong with shopping for a husband on line?
@dodgercpkl: Glad I could sum it up so nicely for you-I'm usually the one who gets beaten to the punch on this board. lol I'm so glad I'm not cooking today and have tons of time to scatter my bon mots all over this board before I go to FMILs house. Anyway, yeah, I just don't understand the stigma. If you're single (and looking) and don't want to take advantage of this whole fabulous world, it's like being offered a smorgesbord (sp?) when you're starving and saying, "Meh, no thanks." More for the rest of us. lol
We met online: and I get what you're saying, I used to be a lot more self conscious about it. Now though, it's so common - people are a lot less judgemental, which is such a nice thing! :)
We also met online. Usually people seem really interested in how it worked out. I used to go through a long diatribe of how I was in school 40 hours a week and didn't have time to meet anyone blah blah blah, but I've stopped apologizing for it. People can judge me if they want, but I've had boyfriends that I've met without a dating site and clearly none of those worked out.
We met on lavalife.com and my SO was my fourth date. I feel kinda awkward that we met online but I think that I do need to embrace it more.
My family wasn't weirded out by it. In fact, my sister did it for a while which is what gave me the idea.
The other day my mom was talking to a friend of hers who hasn't been on a date in a while, and my mom said, "You should go online! My daughter did and met a peach of a guy!"
Haha, moms.
I think it's just a sign of the times and really, really common for people to meet online!
FH and I met in bar; sometimes I am embarassed to say that!
FI and I met on Match.com. At first I was reluctant to tell people, other than my really close friends because I was afraid people would instantly be suspicious of him (which is ridiculous, by the way - one could just as easily meet a scumbag or murderer in a bar as online). But after dating for awhile we didn't really care anymore. A bunch of my friends also joined Match after they saw how well it worked for us.
DH & I met online as well. There are very few people who know the truth. I am embarrassed to tell others we met online. DH, on the other hand, has no problem telling everyone.
I'm fine saying we met online. Meeting that person for the first time is no weirder than going to a random club and meeting a stranger. I really don't think it's as dangerous as people sometimes think unless you decide to meet someone you spent an hour chatting to in a dark alley or something stupid :P
Match.com here too! My job schedule is so wacky that meeting people was difficult. Thank you interwebs!
Yeah, everyone is working so much harder than ever these days, it only makes sense to use the web to find a mate.
I always liked that you could be specific about the things that really matter to you, ie must love dogs, non smoker, etc. Sure, some guys will lie, but I think it really helps.
Time Magazine recently had an article that claims 30% of all couples meet online. It's the second most common way of meeting somebody after mutual friends.
http://healthland.time.com/2010/08/17/how-couples-meet/
Furthermore, an article in discovery has a comparison of newlyweds who met online and otherwise. Although online couples may marry faster and are older, researchers have found no differences between the quality of relationships or education/ attractiveness, etc.
http://news.discovery.com/tech/online-dating-true-love-stigmas.html
I have no feelings on it, really. I'm not ashamed or anything. It's so common. I met him online, on a match making page. We're in love, we're getting married and we met online...my cousin even went on this rant on how it's so weird and she would never do it, whatever. Still doesn't bug me :D
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