Confessions of a Material Girl & how the bee fuels my disgusting fire

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@msmaddox:  I mean… you can’t expect to get a decent quality 1 carat diamond and a setting for $5,000. Maybe you can upgrade (and spend more), or get something like a moissanite or a CZ. 

Post # 5
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I personally think you should get the stone you want even if you have to save up yourself and pay for it. I have been married for 5 years. My husband proposed with moissanite which I said was ok at the time. People cant even tell but it’s always bothered me. Even though we share money, I just ordered a diamond to replace the moissanite. I’m going to pay it off on my own. IWe always said that we’d upgrade eventually but because I know he doesn’t actually value it, I don’t think it would have happened. I wanted it done before we have a family!

Post # 6
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@msmaddox:  I mean… I don’t know, I don’t know your fiance. My boyfriend set a limit of around $5,000, but we ended up spending $2,000 on the ring. Maybe he couldn’t find a ring for $5,000 that he thought you would like. I just looked on blue nile — you can get a .9 carat oval F color, VS2 for $3,200. That would leave you $1,800 for the setting. Maybe you could do that? If you want to go to 1.09 carats, G color and VS1, it’s $5,000.  

Post # 7
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Can we see the ring? I have an inkling it’s not nearly as discolored as you think it is.

I wasn’t over the top thrilled with mine, if we are being honest, but I didn’t DISlike it either. It is definitely clear he picked it out: simple, practical, high quality but small stone. It wasn’t what I pictured, or what I showed him I liked. But it’s mine and with the wedding band I picked out I’m going to absolutely adore it. We have talked about someday getting a larger stone. That doesn’t fix the fact that I initially wanted a different setting, but that ship has sailed and I’m not asking for a new one. Can you talk to him and see what he thinks about upgrading the stone someday? And you’d be surprised by how much a difference a band makes. 

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Since it’s (most likely?) only this one expensive jewelery item, I think you should have what you want within reason. He should at least spend what he agreed to spend. Have you checked blue nile? Costco?

Post # 9
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you have to ask yourself if you want a different stone for YOU, or because you want your ring to be a status symbol. Engagement rings are not meant to be status symbols. Have you talked to your fiancee about upgrading the center stone? It sounds like you like the setting. As far as comparing your ring to whats on the bee, keep in mind this is an anonymous internet site. Someone else said it before, and I’m inclined to agree……I think there are people who lie about their rings being actual diamonds on here.

Post # 10
Member
3006 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think replacing without him knowing is a good idea. That may really hurt his feelings.

But, I get where you’re coming from. I *adored* my ring until I found this damned site, and now I see all these perfect big blingy diamond rings and sometimes wonder why I went the hand-made thick band yellow gold route instead of using the $$ for a bigger diamond…then I have to snap myself back into reality. Someone out there’s always gonna have greener grass, so to speak. Ring porn doesn’t help.

If you’re that unhappy with your stone, would an X amount of years upgrade be something to consider? That would give you/ him plenty of time to save up and get a nicer stone.

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@msmaddox:  Aww!

You had expectations, and they were way not met (oops, it happens). I don’t blame you for wanting to upgrade your stone. You could always find out the jewler’s buy back policy, and upgrade on your anniversary!

I nearly died of shock when I found out what my 1ct center cost!

Post # 12
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I just think that he would actually need to value rings/jewelry/diamonds to want to replace it in the future. Do you have kids? Once you have kids and family your priorities change. I think you should try to get what you like now. Although the status symbol thing is true. If that is why you want the bling, then maybe not the best reson. 

 

Post # 13
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Eight6Eleven, I totally know what you mean! Comparisson is evil! there is always someone with more money and a nicer ring. There comes a point where you need to value and appreciate what you have.

Post # 16
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@msmaddox:  I don’t blame you in the least. My ring was very important to me.

Here is a nice oval that’s a little over one carat. It’s a good color and clarity, but it might have a bow tie.

 

http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/oval-cut/1.13-carat-g-color-vs2-clarity-sku-171378

 

Gently broach the fact that you took the stone in to be cleaned and the jeweler mentioned that it may one day fracture due to inclusions. Tell him you are worried about the stability of the stone, and see if he is open to trading it in and getting another.

You are within your rights here, you have to wear it forever. Good luck!

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