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Eeek, daydream! If he were a normal, functioning person and you had an amicable breakup and your FI was cool with it, I'd say yes. However, the fact that he finally stopped stalking you on FB is enough for me to say no. You really don't want to invite that kind of stuff back into your life, and unfortunately, his mother being there might do just that. I'm sure she's very happy for you and would love to be there, but I also think she'd understand.
That's hard when you genuinely care about the person but I really think it would be a bad idea - you don't want to give her son another reason to stalk.
Maybe you could just send a thank you note with a little gift so she knows you're thinking about her and I'm sure she'd understand why you can't invite her.
I'm sure she'll be recognizing your wedding in her own way, but that she would never DREAM of being invited. Knowing her son, once he found out that she was invited it would invite him (and probably start it right up) to start stalking you again. I think to keep his family OUT of it but still email with his mom would be smart. I doubt she'd EVER want it any other way.
I would agree with Laylabelle--unfortunately, since he's nuts, he might read into it and invite himself or think it's ok to start contacting you again. Have you thought about writing a nice letter to her, thanking her for all her support and kindness, instead? I think a letter from the heart on nice stationery would be a great alternative. You can still let her know how much it's meant to you to be friends with her, but you don't put yourself in the situation of potentially initiating contact with nutso ex-boyfriend.
I think since they are long distance...and your ex-boyfriend was abusive and stalking you...and you're wanting to include basically his whole family, without him....I don't think that would go over well.
Do you still keep in touch with the family? How long ago did you last see them?
You know I could see if a couple split more amicably, this could work. Sometimes people grow close to the other's parents or siblings. But it's hard to keep up with really wanting them in your life, and really wanting your ex not in your life.
I haven't seen them in about a year and a half, but that's because my job took me out of the States that long ago and I haven't been back. Haven't even seen my OWN family. :)
I still email with his mom occassionally. His sister and I were also really close, and she sends me pics of her little boy (she got married a month after I left the country, and their son was born 10 months later) semi regularly in the mail, but no real personal correspondence. Letters with the pics usually just say, "Miss you! Love, {her} & {her hubs}"
ETA: Part of the reason I'm so close to my ex's mom is that while we were dating, she was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer, and I took her to most of her chemo appts, hung out with her when she was too sick from the chemo to leave the house, and did about 1/3 of her overall home care while she was sick. Her husband did about 1/2 and her kids split the other 1/6th. Kind of disproportionate...
If he weren't an abusive stalker I'd say fine. I'm inviting me ex-inlaws to my wedding, but my ex is harmless. If I were you I wouldn't open that can of worms again.
It's okay to keep in touch with her discretely (so that her son isn't aware), but it would be really strange to invite her to your wedding given that particular history. Don't go there, I think.
I have to agree with everyone else. You have just gotten "some peace in your valley" like my great-grandma used to say. Don't invite trouble...I think the idea of a heartfelt letter on some nice stationary would be nice (no return address though bc you never know what stalker man has access to when he visits his mom).
Eek! I would say no. Why would you want to invite that drama to your wedding day? Sounds like your Ex isn't stable and while his family sounds lovely, who knows what he could/would do if he knew the specifics of your wedding.
I'm so sorry, if you finally have managed to get the ex to stop stalking you, do not provoke him by sending his mother an invitation. Things like weddings have a tendency to act as triggers and it's just not worth it.
Sorry but it's a bad idea. Especially if her son has a tendency to stalk you. Don't want to chance giving him a reason to begin those behaviors again.
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Beekeeper
I think I already know the answer to this one, but, just in case...
I can't invite my ex boyfriend's mom (er, parents) to my wedding, can I?
Backstory for those who may not have heard it: my ex and I were together for 3 1/2 years; our relationship became abusive after 6 months; we were halfway across the country from my family but down the street from his, so I got really close to his mom, we still email occassionally. When our relationship got unhealthy, she started telling me I needed to break up with him, that I deserved better than him, that she was ashamed of her son for his behavior, that if she could choose one of us she would choose me (hehe, she's super sweet). Needless to say, I didn't heed her advice for far too long.
I absolutely adore this woman, but her son ... boarderline stalked me for 2 years after we broke up, is FINALLY leaving me alone on facebook, and recently got into a new relationship of his own (good luck, "Kim").
There's no way I want him at my wedding; there's no way I can invite his mom and dad, or his sister and her husband, is there?
They live halfway across the country, so I doubt they would come anyway, but that just seems to make it even MORE awkward to invite them.
Right?