Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2015 - The Old Courthouse in Cleveland
Long story short: My boyfriend’s brother, Brad (names are changed), is a groomsmen. Can his ex girlfriend (of 5 years), Jess, be a bridesmaid? Or is that completely inappropriate?
My best friend happens to be Brad’s ex girlfriend, we will call her Jess. She and I became close because the brothers are very close and for 3+ years we were constantly together. Since the split Jess and I have remained great friends. Around Brad (and his new girlfriend) I refrain from mentioning her.
5 months after the breakup she is still hung up on him, but he has had no problem moving on. She keeps asking and making mention of being in my wedding party. I am so torn. As my best friend I would love to have her in my wedding… but I am scared it will lead to problems. Brad is very passive and would say it’s fine with him. But I am scared it will lead to problems between him and his new girlfriend. Or that Jess will use this as an opportunity to potentially catch his eye again. (This is selfish- but I’m worried I’ll spend more time listening to her scheming than planning my own wedding). I feel like this post makes her sound horrible, but she really is one of my best friends.
Post # 3
@bananacar: have her in the wedding but just don’t ‘pair’ them together.
Post # 4
@bananacar: better yet, pair her with a cute elligible bachelor if there are any in the wedding party 😉
Post # 6
@bananacar: You can’t not have your best friend in your wedding party! 🙂 Like someone else said, have her as a bridesmaid but just don’t have them walk in together at the reception if you’re doing that.
Post # 5
aw I feel bad for her… I’ve been with FI for 5.5 years and I can’t imagine what that would feel like… Especially if he’s moved on so easily. If I were her I’d have a very very hard time being around him.
However if you want her in your party I wouldn’t let this stop you. But I would talk with her about your concerns first and then maybe let her decide if she’d be comfortable being there. Especially if he’s going to bring the new gf. And who knows, maybe by the time your wedding rolls around she’ll have a new man too
Post # 7
As long as they’re cool I think it would be fine.
I’m confused though, you say it’s been 5 years and then later say 5 months. Which is it?
Post # 8
I knew a girl who had her brother’s ex girlfriend in the wedding. They remained close after the break up, and considered each other to be best friends more than “that’s my brother’s ex girlfriend.” If that’s how it is for you have her in the party for sure!
Post # 9
I would think long and hard if you think this friendship will continue. It seems like this is a fresh breakup. And as they are no longer together distance might grow between you. And you could feel weird having her in the wedding and putting fbil in an uncomfortable position.