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Well, we're actually having ours in a church, but I would recommend maybe showing your mom some photos or videos of pretty outdoor weddings. Maybe it will change her mind once she sees these are "real" weddings too? Maybe she's imagining something really hideous.
I don't think people will not show up simply because it's not in a church. They're your relatives and will want to share your day with you. My aunt got married outside and had 200 guests or so at her wedding (mostly family.) Whatever their feelings may be towards church weddings, there's nothing that Latinos love more than a good party :-) Good luck!
I can see where your mother is coming from. As someone with a cultural background that is strongly rooted in the church, I too sometimes feel that wedding ceremonies outside of a church somehow don't feel "real." But it isn't my wedding and it isn't your mother's wedding, so you should do what feels the best for you.
But if you will be strongly influenced by your family and your guests or subconsciously feel that anything less than a Catholic wedding is somehow incomplete, maybe a church wedding is the way to go. I always thought that a destination wedding or a beach wedding would be incredible, but at the end of the day, I felt it was more important to me to get married by a priest in a church.
I think it comes down to this: Do you want the ceremony to be personal and a reflection of you and your fiance? Or do you want the ceremony to be religious and embrace your family heritage?
We're also Catholic but dream of a beach wedding. Our plan is to follow our dream of marrying on the beach with a JOP family friend performing the ceremony and talking to our priest about 'blessing' the marriage a few weeks later. We have a year and a half so we may change our plan but that's what we're planning. My mother is disappointed it's not at our church but I had a "bastard" child seven years ago and my FI and I have been 'living in sin' for over a year so I think she gave up on me years ago :-0
Hi Shaema
Can you do that? Have a priest bless your marriage after? I did not know. How does that work?
And yeah, my fiance and I have been living together for about 3 years now... so you know in the Hispanic community, we are technically viewed as "married" already.
its so weird sometimes...our familes already refer to my fiance and my husband, and I'm his wife...just cuz we live together!
oh, haha, I was told that my wedding iddn't "count" if it was outside, too! I mean, seriously. I say, do what you want. Or, i have a friend who puts it this way: "If I'm otuside, that means there is no roof to get in the way. So, essentially, an outdoor wedding is closer to God". ha =]. Good luck with your choice! You just have to do what makes you happiest, not your parents.
An outside wedding counts just as much as a church wedding! Sometimes family members have these unusual expectations of what a wedding should be and how it should go that they forget to stop and realize it's the couple's day ... and if you want an outdoor wedding (which you obviously do) I would say go fo it - it will make you happy. And the parents will come around.
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I am conflicted about what I want to do for my ceremony.
I was raised Catholic (I've been baptized, done my first communion and confirmation)..so has my fiance. Yes, we believe in most of the Catholic teachings, but no, we do not attend church.
I feel it would be lovely to have a wedding in a church. However, I just have this beautiful vision of doing it outdoors. Our wedding will be intimate.. probably 20 - 30 people at most, and I just feel like we would get lost inside a church wedding.
On the other hand, if we do it outside, I could make the space personal, it would be whatever we wanted it to be.
I realize the choice may sound easy. My parents, being Hispanic, naturally expect that a wedding is not a wedding unless its in a church (unless of course it is not your first marriage, then it is ok to do a JOP wedding).
When I first talked to my mom with ideas, I mentioned the outdoor thing, and her response was "Oh, you're not gonna get married in a church?" At that point I was thinking of having a bigger wedding, and she's like, "if you're going to be inviting a lot of family and stuff, you should have it in a church...you don't want people traveling to your wedding if you're just going to do something simple outside"
That makes me mad! So a wedding outside of the church doesnt' count to her???
I'm the type of person that cares about what everyone else thinks, so I'm trying to think positive about this church thing, but honestly, I just want a pretty outdoors wedding. My fiance is the same way. I dont' knwo what to do?
Any other Hispanic Catholics whose parents strongly wanted their son/daughter to get married in a church, but chose to do something else?